


Angels and Demons

by EddieFook



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, Angst, Angst and Fluff, Bottom Dean, Demons, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Slow Burn, Top Castiel, destiel smut, there will be smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-03-30 16:15:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 60,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3943279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EddieFook/pseuds/EddieFook
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You're an Angel or you're a Demon. After you present you get assigned a number, your class, your power level, your respect in society. But civil war threatens to break out when one group decides they're just a bit better than all the others. And who is caught in the middle? Dean and Castiel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So here we go again! I'm very excited to start this new story with everyone, I started plotting this out a month or two ago and I think if I start posting it it'll get me off my writer's block and get me making more chapters!

They met when they were five.

Dean shared his basketball and Cas thought that was kind of nice to share with the new kid. He also swears he remembers the first time he saw those green eyes because that was when his heart stopped. Dean was freckled and gangly but full of energy and Cas was the shy kid no one wanted to talk to.

They were instant friends.

Dean never asked why Cas’s parents never dropped him off, or why they didn’t come to career day. He also never asked what Assignment Cas’s parents were like all the other students and Cas was grateful.

He never taunted, whispering that the “dark haired wierdo” probably had two Level One Demon parents. Or worse they were Unassigned. It was rare, but it happened, and Dean was always quick to his best friend’s defense whenever he heard the familiar jeers.

When they were eleven everything changed.

“What if I never get an Assignment?” Dean whined, Cas looked at his skinny best friend and inwardly smiled. Ever since that first meeting it seemed fate had picked two polars to be fitted together. Dean was wild, reckless, talkative, friendly, filled with a boundless energy, and there was a light in his soul that couldn’t seem to be tarnished no matter what. Cas was quiet, contemplative, socially awkward, terrified of strangers, and it took a very long time to earn his trust (though with Dean it seemed instantaneous).

“You will,” they were walking to Dean’s house. They always went to Dean’s house, and though Dean knew the secret to why Cas’s sweatshirt was eight sizes too big for him, or why he ate pizza like it was going out of style, they never talked about it. They didn’t need to. Dean understood and Cas was grateful to leave it at that. “You’re parents are at least Level Five Angels, I wouldn’t be surprised if you were an Eight, or even Nine.” Dean blushed and hit Cas’s shoulder. Or at least he pretended it was a hit but really it was a reason just to touch Cas. Dean stretched and yawned loudly. He hated when his parents Assignments were talked about. Well, really it was he hated when his parents’ Assignments were talked about around Cas.

“Thank God it’s Friday. You spending the night?” He looked at Cas through the corner of his eye.

“Don’t I always?” Cas looked at Dean full on. “You have a good Xbox and you only have to share with Sam.”

“Not tonight he and Dad are visiting Grandpa,” Dean reminded.

“Right,” Cas grinned, “Then why are you leading us to the elementary school?” Dean stopped and took in their surroundings.

“Oops?” He grinned and then as if he were about to lose his nerve he took Cas’s hand and they both blushed looking at their twined fingers. “Is this…?” Dean whispered shyly.

“Yes,” Cas blushed back afraid to look in green eyes. Well they both were afraid. Their hands felt like they were on fire and when they started walking again each would stumble on their words because all they could focus on were how the other’s fingers felt. They fell into silence that neither noticed until they were in front of Dean’s house. They both internally freaked out how the other would react if they dropped hands first, but when Dean was about to pull away Cas kissed him on his cheek. Dean turned and his eyes were large as saucers.

“Why’d you…” He breathed.

“Because I really wanted to,” Cas refused to look up from his bellybutton.

“Why?”

“Because I like you,” Cas blushed looking at his shoes.

“Ok.” Dean smiled and finally caught Cas’s eye. “I like you too.” They both turned red and smiled at the grass.

“Well I’m still going to kick your butt at Mario Kart.” Cas challenged and they ran inside. Dean yelled a quick hello to his mother, racing down to the basement to get the game started. Cas, however, went to say hello to Mary. He found her in the kitchen preparing them a snack.

“Hello Castiel,” she beamed, “How was school?”

“Good,” Cas sat down at the table, he had been coming over since he was five. After his first week of kindergarten Dean begged his parents if Cas could stay the night. The boys played with toys and Dean never mentioned how he had six dinosaurs and Cas only had one. Instead they had an epic battle with aliens coming down from Dean’s bed and carrying away Cas’s dinosaur, but the day was saved when the pillow the spaceship landed on became lava and the dinosaur sprouted wings and was able to fly away.

“How was work?” He always asked and Mary smiled, her pale gold wings rustled softly as she moved about the kitchen.

“Work was ok, a Demon went on a Black Rage and four victims were brought in with him. We needed three guards to sedate him.” Cas smiled in a compassionate way.

“I’m sorry, you had to deal with that.” He was inwardly terrified, for all they knew Cas’s parents could have been Level Ten Demons and he could end up like them.

“There are good Demons and bad Demons,” Mary said reassuringly. “Just as there are good Angels and bad Angels,” she always seemed to know what to say. Cas nodded in thanks.

“CAS!” Dean yelled from the basement, Mary and Castiel shared a familiar smile.

“I better go,” Cas started for the basement steps.

“Wait!” Mary slid the hot pizza rolls from the oven to a plate and handed it to him. She also grabbed two orange sodas and Cas with a practiced motion turned where she slipped the cans into his backpack.

“Finally, I’ve been waiting _forever_!” Dean was on the floor, controllers already ready for them. “Oooh pizza rolls!” He dug in with vigor, then panted heavily, his tongue hanging out because they were too hot. Cas slipped the sodas from his backpack and then dropped the bag in Dean’s room.

They played for a few hours, with no hint of the confessions outside the house. They yelled and hit one another and roughhoused when Cas beat Dean (as usual) and his taunts became a bit too much for the other boy to handle. Dean tackled Cas after the brunet had referred to Dean’s slowness one too many times. They rolled around laughing and wrestling for a while, grabbing each other’s arms and legs.

They ended with Cas on his back and Dean laying across him. Without hesitating Dean kissed him quickly. It was sweet and innocent and lasted only a second before it was over. Before they could say anything Mary called from the stairs.

“Boys! Dinner!” Dean rolled off Cas and they smiled at each other.

“Cas do you want to call Chuck to tell him you’re staying here for supper?” it was a question that was asked nearly every night, or at least every time Cas stayed for supper.

Cas nodded, “Could I stay over? I’m sure Chuck won’t mind,” Mary smiled at the question. Cas always asked it, he was always polite and courteous and Mary loved him like a third son.

“Of course, dear,” she didn’t point where the phone was; she never needed to after Cas had made that first shy phone call when he was eight, before that either John or Mary would call.

“Hello?” Chuck picked up on the second ring.

“Hello Chuck.”

“Hey Castiel, how was your day?” Chuck always wanted to know.

“It was fine, I got an A on my history test.”

“That’s great!—What is it Gabriel?—No you can’t feed Charlie that, I don’t care if five year olds say they love sardines and ketchup you aren’t making her that.—Sorry Cas, how’d you do on your math homework?”

“I missed question nine,” he was about to go into detail but Chuck had to call to Gabriel again.

“Sorry Cas, Gabriel has to cook dinner tonight, some school project he’s taking special orders I would run while you can.”

“Actually I was asking if I can stay the night at Dean’s, Mary doesn’t mind.”

“Of course, tell her thank you for letting you stay. Personally I wish I could come, Gabriel has been in the kitchen since he got home and I don’t trust the smells…” Cas laughed. He liked Chuck, out of all the foster homes he’d had Chuck’s was the best. Most foster parents didn’t take cases like Castiel’s where nothing was known about the parents. If the child had Demon parents…Cas had been to four homes already because of that very reason. But Chuck didn’t care, he wanted to give all kids the same kind of chance, but that meant his house was always full and he didn’t have as much time as he wanted to dote on his kids. It also helped that he was a Level Seven Angel, one of the highest in the community. Currently there were six in the house: Cas, Gabe, Charlie, Lucifer, Michael, and Balthazar. Charlie was the first girl Chuck had ever fostered and any fears the case workers had were dispelled when they came for a visit to see five boys and Chuck huddled around the coffee table drinking from empty cups bright plastic barrettes in their hair as a babbling four year old tried to get her uncoordinated fingers to braid Cas’s hair.

“How is Dean, how many times did you beat him at Mario Kart?”

“Six,” Cas laughed into the phone.

“Six? Your record is losing its touch, you may need to stay all day and practice.” Chuck chided lightly. “What do you have for homework?” Cas listed it off and when he said math Chuck groaned good-naturedly. “Math, again! Cas I told you get it done in class, I’m going to have to sneak glances at google to keep up with you!”

“I can’t help it Chuck,” Cas laughed.

“Well can’t you go back to like adding or something? Math is hard,” Cas laughed at the whiny tone in Chuck’s voice.  “I need to maintain the image that I am smarter than you, and you doing advanced algebra is shattering that.”

“Sorry,” Cas giggled.

“Gabriel I told you no hot sauce!” Chuck yelled, “I’m really sorry Castiel but I have to go before this fool tries to put macaroni in the brownies.” Cas laughed again even harder, “Do you think Mary could make a doggie bag for me, you could sneak it, no one has to know.” Chuck wheedled.

“I don’t think so, Chuck, and didn’t you say that suffering builds character?”

“I’m already regretting telling you that, be good and help Mary and John with whatever they need, and kick Dean’s butt at Mario Kart.”

“Thanks Chuck, good luck, and the poison hotline is—” he laughed as Chuck groaned and hung up the phone.

“How is everyone?” Mary asked when Cas reappeared.

“Good, apparently Gabe has to make all the meals this weekend for a class project.” Dean groaned loudly.

“Awww mom he has to stay all weekend! We can’t send him home to Gabe’s cooking.” Mary looked like she wanted to relent.

“Chuck said it was ok, just so long as I get back in time for homework on Sunday.” Mary rolled her eyes and smiled.

“I can’t say no when the two of you gang up on me like that.” The boys giggled. “Besides it’s my lot in life to be surrounded by boys.” She started serving the pasta and Dean brought out the garlic bread.

“I made it while you were on the phone.” He beamed and slid three pieces on Cas’s plate.

“I think Gabe should have you as his partner.” Cas said as he finished off his fourth piece of Dean’s garlic bread. Dean glowed at the compliment and Mary’s wings relaxed even more. After supper was done, they all moved with a familiarity born out of excessive practice. Cas had been over so many times he knew where everything belonged in the kitchen.

“I’ll call you when it’s time to go to bed,” Mary called when the boys started to troupe downstairs.

“Mooooooom,” Dean groaned, “We’re almost _teenagers_ ,” Cas just nudged him playfully, to which Dean retaliated and they ended up at the bottom of the stairs holding hands again.

“Dean?” Cas whispered from the top bunk (when they were smaller Cas was spending most of his nights at the Winchesters. He was on house number two, a Level Three Angel who was suspicious that seven year old Cas was going to burn her house down because she was convinced of his demon heritage. Around that time John came home with a bunk bed in the back of his truck, saying that a friend of his had to get rid of it. They never mentioned the unspoken agreement that this was _Cas’s_ bed. That Cas would always have a bed if he ever needed it. It was an automatic assumption).

“Yeah?”

“Do you really like me?” Cas was terrified. He was terrified what would happen to Dean, to Chuck, to Charlie, to Mary and John when he presented as Demon.

“Yeah.” Dean’s tone was quiet but sure.

“And what happens when I present as Demon?” Cas whispered, it was an old worry, and one Dean was well acquainted with. They’d had hundreds of these darkness conversations with Cas in the top bunk and Dean in the bottom.

“Then I’ll still like you.”

“You can’t say that. Demons are…evil, they’re worse than bad, they kill for fun and whenever something bad happens Demons are behind it.” Dean was quiet for a while.

“Will it help if I say I love you?”

“Do you?”

“Yeah.” Cas was quiet a long time processing this.

“Dean?” He thought the other boy might be asleep.

“Yeah?”

“I love you too.” Dean didn’t say anything but Cas heard his blankets rustle and his bed creak. Then he felt the bunk shift slightly as Dean climbed the ladder into his bed. “What are you doing?” Cas felt Dean crawling up next to his body.

“I wanted another kiss,” Dean said, and even though the room was dark Cas could feel his smirk.

“You’ve already had five,” Cas giggled at the thought and Dean shared in the laughter. But Cas had to give in, they were clumsy in the dark hitting each other in stomachs and heads. Finally they were settled in one another’s arms snuggled deep and comfortable. Dean kissed Cas’s head innocently and reverently.

“You don’t have to worry, Castiel, I love you and I’ll be here.”

“Ok.” Cas fell asleep feeling Dean’s breath on his neck and the warmth of his heavy arm across his stomach.

***

Mary was over the moon when she went down to wake up the boys the next morning. Dean was easy to find nestled in Cas’s arms, his nose pressed deep in chocolate hair. Mary had been secretly hoping for this for a long time, the boys were so perfect together and Cas was bound to present as Angel and Dean too. They would live happily ever after and Mary basked in that thought up the stairs, in the kitchen, and all through breakfast-making.

She tried to keep a knowing smile off her face when two bed headed eleven year olds came up for food. She was going to have to practice keeping a good poker face through their romance and Mary knew she was probably going to fail.

Over the next few years their relationship blossomed, both were so shy it took nearly a year to announce they were “going steady.” Then another two years for their innocence to fade and puberty to take hold.

“It’s called _French kissing_ ,” Cas said in a whisper at Dean’s locker, “Meg told me about it,” Dean laughed as he traded his math book for science, Cas looked absolutely scandalized. Like he was saying the _F-word_ , which he still referred to as the _F-word_ in hushed tones.

“You wanna try it?” Dean blushed, his hormones had started a few months before Cas’s but neither had really felt that overwhelming, head-fuzzing, breath choking _lust_ yet. Though give it another few months and they’d be more than ready to go.

Cas nodded, his face turning to a strawberry before he ran away. Dean chuckled after his boyfriend. He could barely pay attention during class, all he could think about was Cas’s body pressed against his and how it had very recently changed from innocence to _holy F-word I’m touching you_.

When he left his last class Cas was waiting for him.

“Hey,” he beamed and slipped his hand in Cas’s in a practiced motion. “So I have some _French_ homework to work on,” his smile was full of dirty and Cas punched his arm.

“Shut up,” but he was smiling too. His nearly fifteen-year-old body was taller than Dean for now, but Dean was due for another growth spurt. “I should call Chuck,” before he was finished Dean’s cell phone was in his palm.

“Oh I forgot something, can you wait for me?” Dean just smiled and plopped down on a bench outside the school. It was Friday so the halls were empty in a flash, and summer vacation was just a month away so it was gorgeous out. They would be moving to the high school next year and Cas wasn’t nervous. Dean would be with him so he wouldn’t get scared about the bullying or being known only as “the foster freak.”

He dialed Chuck’s number a little nervously and, as always, Chuck picked up on the second ring.

“I can’t do this,” Cas wailed and Chuck soothed through the phone.

“Yes you can Castiel, you love him and he loves you.” Cas nodded even though he knew Chuck couldn’t see.

“I know, I know, but what if I’m bad at it?”

“Cas you’re going to be bad your first time, but it just takes practice. Remember how bad you were at your first dance?” Cas nodded again.

“Yeah,” he sighed, “Am I being dumb, Chuck? I mean where did this come from? _French kissing?_ Why did I even want this?”

“Cas,” Chuck spoke in restful tones, “Cas listen to me,” Castiel calmed down and breathed normally. “Cas we talked about this, your body is changing it’s natural for your body to want new things.”

“But, but, but what if Dean’s body is changing too and it won’t want me?” Cas finally said what was really scaring him. It wasn’t if he was going to be bad at French kissing, it was that he wasn’t going to be good enough to keep Dean around.

“Well then Dean’s the douchebag and not you. But Cas you have to just calm down and talk with him. Just breathe and you’ll be fine, ok?”

“Ok,” Cas’s voice was tiny.

“And you call me, no matter what time, or wherever I am, you call me and I’ll help you with whatever you need.” Cas brightened a bit. No matter what would happen at least he had his family, as odd as it was, as untraditional it was still his family.

“Ok, thank you Chuck.”

“No problem, kiddo, you feel better?”

“Yeah I’m going to spend the night at Dean’s, is that ok?”

“Yeah, but keep everything at first base.” Chuck laughed when Cas squawked.

“Did Chuck tell you to stop worrying and talk to me?” Dean laughed as he got up and hugged Cas hard. He laughed when a muffled “no” came somewhere around his chest. He tilted their heads so their foreheads could rest together. “I’m never going to hurt you, and I’m always going to love you so let’s give this a try and if you don’t like it, we’ll stop. Ok?”

“O-ok,” Cas was nervous and when Dean leaned closer he jumped away. “We’re going to do this _now?”_ Dean gave him his radiant smile.

“Well I was hoping to, after we pick up Sammy he’s not going to leave us alone and then we’ll be at my house so I won’t be able to really kiss you until everyone goes to bed, and I don’t really want to wait that long.” Cas smiled.

“Ok.”

The kiss began like it always had, it was something Cas was comfortable with. What they both were comfortable with. It was ten or fifteen short pecks before the kisses became longer, the lips lingered on one another and when Dean put his arms around Cas’s neck it seemed like the most natural thing in the world. They were tentatively close, a little bit of air was still between them but their bodies yearned for the potential of closeness. Cas tied his hands together at the base of Dean’s spine and his mouth opened easily when a tongue touched his lips.

The world stopped everything when Dean’s tongue touched his. Cas swore even the axis stopped rotating when their mouths suctioned together. Their tongues were heavy, uncoordinated, and thick, and they got spit and drool all over the edges of their mouths. Cas realized it too late that through this kiss his body was frozen, including his lungs. So halfway through the kiss he started feeling lightheaded and all the way into smashed noses and loud noises he passed out slightly.

“Cas? Cas!” Dean shook him slightly and Cas blinked hard.

“Wha—” he raised his head and tried to kiss again, “I’m fine,” he panted and pushed his face in but Dean stopped him.

“Catch your breath,” he said softly panting just as hard as Cas. Cas took in his red lips and shiny chin and ignored his boyfriend but just sank his tongue back home.

The kiss had a bit more finesse to it, but it was still sloppy and perfect.

“We should get Sam,” Cas panted and Dean reluctantly let go. “Hey,” Cas stopped them for a second, “Chuck said I could spend the night.” They both had dirty in their smirks as they shouldered their backpacks and went to pick up the youngest Winchester.

The night was like all other nights, Sammy hung on Cas and Dean like the plague (though neither minded it, _much_ they still wanted to work on their French homework), Mary and John were kind as always, and asked all kinds of questions. It was Sam’s turn to help with cleanup so the older boys snuck to the basement and made out like the world was ending in five minutes. Cas ended up in Dean’s lap and while their hands and bodies stayed docile their lips and tongues did not. They began to get a familiar rhythm, Dean’s tongue liked to caress Cas’s mouth, while Cas’s preferred to dart all over intent on feeling every centimeter of Dean’s mouth.

They did manage to break away when Sam clomped down the stairs, but there was no hiding what they were up to.

“Oh hell,” Sam in his ten year old self had taken to cussing as much as he could, “I _knew_ this was going to happen, just….just don’t do _it_ here….or while I’m…here.” He was a violent red and he refused to look up until Cas was moved away from Dean.

“Those are all reasonable things, Sam, we can do that.” Cas said soothingly and Dean groaned. His boyfriend punched him and Sam came to sit between them.

“Cool, can we watch _Game of Thrones_?”

“You can’t stand us kissing but you can watch that?!” Dean squawked. Sam tried to look down his nose at his brother, which was cute since he was sitting.

“It’s gross when _you_ do it because you’re my brother,” he said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Cas tried to not smile, but he had to cover it up with a cough. Sam was just cute, and the way the brothers interacted was adorable.

They watched four episodes before Mary called bedtime, or at least Sam’s bedtime.

“I don’t want you boys staying up late either, we have Sam’s soccer match tomorrow,” Mary reminded. Cas and Dean nodded, they were going to bed all right, but sleep might be a few hours away.

So a few hours later Cas and Dean were heavy on one another in Cas’s top bunk. After years of staying with the Winchesters the top bunk in Dean’s room had just automatically became Cas’s. When relatives stayed Dean made his cousin sleep on the couch, because that was Cas’s bed, and the only person who could loan it out was Cas.

“Dean,” Cas whispered between kisses. “Ohhh, Dean,” they kissed a while more and then settled in for sleep.

“Nuh-uh,” Dean said, rolling them, “You get to be the little spoon,” they shifted and Cas got to feel the unfamiliar position, but he liked it. He felt at home.


	2. Chapter 2

“Oh Dean,” Cas breathed, the bed creaking a bit as their hips slotted together.

“Happy summer vacation,” Dean smirked as he mouthed at Cas’s jaw. The month their mouths had been learning one another was sweet and perfect and now they were ready for more. They had had a half day at school, Sam’s elementary still going a full day, and with Dean’s parents still at work they tore downstairs and fused their mouths.

Cas’s body seemed to have changed overnight. Sure kissing his boyfriend was fun, _French kissing_ was even better, but his body had just flushed and heated. Now his body was _reacting_ , and in a big way. Dean seemed to know how to drag every perfect moment out of him and he also had this secret manual that told him how to turn Castiel crazy. 

He seemed to know how much Cas loved when he nipped softly at his neck. Or that just a brush of his fingers at the edge of Cas’s tee-shirt turned him wild. Or how Cas adored the feeling of Dean’s tongue in his mouth. Or when he tanged his legs with his boyfriend and a sneaky sock went up a shorts leg…there were lots of things and Dean seemed to know them all.

He also seemed to know just how to place his leg, hard up between Cas’s thighs, to make the brunet break from the kiss to pant hard and throw his head back.

“Oh, oh, oh,” he couldn’t form a thought so words were even farther out of the question. His body was on fire and they both looked down in surprise at the bulge in Cas’s shorts. This was the first time Cas had gotten properly hard and while Dean’s gaze was full of hunger and desire Cas was terrified and nervous.

“Come on, baby,” Dean brushed his thigh gently encouraging Cas to move. His hands went to Cas’s hips to help him along, “It is a little scary but it feels really good,” he sucked on Cas’s jawline and the boy moaned allowing his hips to move along with Dean’s strong hands.

The sensations were indescribable. His entire body felt alive and full of something powerful. He was hardly aware of anything except that warm muscle between his legs. The feelings were so overwhelming that he didn’t even register when Dean started kissing him hard again. He just grabbed tight on his boyfriend’s sides and rubbed hard on his erection.

Dean pulled away from the kiss to watch Cas’s face. He couldn’t describe how happy he was that he got to be Cas’s first _first_ and he wanted to see the look on his boyfriend’s beautiful face when he came for the first time in his life.

Cas had thought about this moment for forever, figured he’d last a long time. He and Dean would kiss and explore and it would last hours.

He lasted about forty five seconds.

“Ohhhhhh,” his eyes rolled back and Cas thought he was going to die. His belly was tight and he was very aware of how tingly his skin could be. Everything inside him seized up and froze. His muscles tensed and his limbs jerked as his hips continued to grind into Dean.

Dean just smiled down at Cas, that was the hottest thing he’d ever seen and his pants were now tight as well. He came for the first time last week, he’d woken up after a great dream where he went swimming with Cas and there it was. Holding the sheets up like a parade. So Dean had clumsily touched himself and lasted about seventy six seconds before covering his hand in spooj.  

He had wished desperately Cas had been there, because watching his boyfriend right now…yeah Dean wished the love of his life could have been there to witness. To mark the event, Dean was over the moon he could be there for Cas, but he was sorry that his first time was alone.

“Dean,” Cas keened as his orgasm ripped through him, his face was screwed shut and he was desperately clinging to anything of Dean’s. “Ohhhhh fuuuck,” he groaned out and Dean helped slow his hips and as Cas settled deeply into the bed. Dean was on his side and he nestled close and kissed his boyfriend sweetly.

“I love you,” he whispered and Cas beamed lazily.

“I love you too,” Cas shifted slightly and felt something new pressed into his hip. “Please, Dean,” his fingers grasped Dean’s hip and pushed and pulled. “Come on,” he urged. He kissed up Dean’s face, all of it new and unfamiliar. He was clumsy and uncoordinated but he got the job done. Dean started humping fast and hard and he grunted in Cas’s open mouth.

Dean lasted fifteen seconds. As soon as he broke the kiss to pant he opened his eyes and Cas open and bare on the bed next to him was enough to send him over the edge. Cas was raw, he rarely let his guard down with everyone except Dean and even then while he kept his emotions honest with his boyfriend he rarely came so undone. He was a keening mess, his body was thrusting with Dean’s and the green eyed boy groaned loudly when he came.

They settled and panted into the mattress. Lazy hands traced whatever they could as lips moved languidly against one another.

“That was amazing.” Cas whispered with Dean’s face pressed in his temple. “Was that your first time too?” Cas wrapped one of his hands in his boyfriend’s hair. Dean buried his face in Cas’s neck and shook his head refusing to come out of the warmth there. Cas just waited patiently for his love to talk.

“Last week,” came a murmur near his collarbone.

“Last week? Why didn’t you tell me? I wish I could have been there,” Cas sighed and Dean matched it. “We could have done this for _days_ now.” Dean chuckled and came out of his safety of Cas’s neck to kiss his soul mate lightly.

“Yeah,” he smiled, “But I think we’ll be doing this for _years_ ,” Cas’s face broke into a million smiles as the kissed all over Dean’s face. He started laughing half way through and Dean laughed too, Cas’s pure joy infectious.

“Dean! Cas!” Dean groaned when he heard Sammy yell and slam the door. They had had enough time to grind and come once more on one another and clean up before Dean’s family started coming home. They were heavy on one another on the couch and when Sam bounded downstairs he wrinkled his nose and jumped on them.

“Come on! We’re leaving tomorrow!” He bounced up and down and Dean grunted trying to reach his annoying-ass brother. He succeeded and brought the boy down who retaliated by pulling Dean’s arm and the sandy haired boy fell to the ground. Then because Dean’s legs were tangled with his boyfriend’s Cas followed behind with a yell. The three roughhoused on the ground all laughing and panting.

Cas sat back first and there was a low chuckle coming from the stairs.

“Aww Cas I was bettin’ on you to show my boys how to fight,” John was laughing and Cas stood to shake his hand. It was a habit the both had gotten into since the first time the boy had visited. A five year old Cas was shocked when a giant of a man with large, pale slate wings knelt down and held his hand out. Cas had felt so grown up, he’d never been treated with respect, he’d started to understand why his bed was never his bed and that that bed was always in jeopardy of changing. So when this _grown up_ took his hand like he was a man, the memory and habit stuck with Cas.

John took his hand with a warm smile and they watched Sam and Dean wrestle on the floor.

“Alright, alright get up we gotta get ready.” John’s commanding tone broke through and the boys got up. “Cas you gonna stay with us for dinner or are you gonna help Chuck and your brothers?” They were leaving for their annual camping trip the next day for a week. It had started with a tradition of Chuck’s he always took the boys camping, a bonding experience or whatever. Really it was just a way to watch Gabe light marshmallows and chase everyone with flaming fluffiness.

Then Cas asked if he could bring Dean which led to Sam begging to go when he was old enough and John offering to help Chuck out, to which Chuck was extremely grateful. With five boys, two more with Sam and Dean, Chuck needed John’s extra set of eyes. Besides an ADHD Gabriel was more like two and a half kids and Chuck was at his wits end. With no electronic distractions Gabe took it on himself to “entertain” the others. Chuck was extremely glad John knew how to climb trees, as Gabe had ended up the branches of some _very_ tall pines at least seven times. And don’t even start on the Great Poison Ivy Sleeping Bag Disaster of 2013.

So Sam and Dean were always welcome and John was greatly appreciated.

“I should go home, I’m in charge of food packing.” John grabbed his son by the scruff of his neck and pulled the whiny boy back.

“You two can make out when we get to the woods,” he laughed, but he did allow Cas to peck Dean on the cheek. 

“Hey be sure Gabe doesn’t get near the food!” Sam called, last year Cas’s foster brother got food duty and everyone suffered a week of macaroni and cheese and golden grahams.

An hour later found Cas looking at a box of granola bars in confusion. How could he get hard looking at the Quaker oat guy? More importantly how was he going to get rid of it? He looked down and yes indeed, there was no way of hiding it. His cock was tenting his shorts and he didn’t know what to do.

“Hey Cas,” Chuck came in smiling and Cas jumped, sitting down quickly in a chair. He folded his hands and ducked his head. “Cas…?” Chuck said gently and Cas turned beet red and looked down guiltily. “Castiel what’s wrong?”

“N-nothing,” Cas stuttered. Chuck sat quietly and waited.

“Do you want to talk about whatever you’re upset about?” Cas nodded slightly.

“I’m—my body…” he whispered mortified that his penis was betraying him. Chuck to his credit didn’t laugh, his soft brown wings rusted a bit but he kept the smile off his face.

“Castiel are you feeling changes right now?” Cas nodded, ashamed. “Ok, well first there is nothing to be ashamed about.” Cas looked up in alarm and found an understanding smile. “This is totally normal and what every man goes through.”

“Dean and I…” Chuck’s wings picked up a bit.

“Did you have sex?” The question shocked Cas, he’d never talked so openly not even with Dean.

“No!”

“Hey it’s ok, don’t worry I’m not going to judge you.” Cas settled. This was Chuck, his understanding grey eyes always seemed to know what to say and put Cas at ease. Cas had come to Chuck’s house when he was nine, with easy to recognize bruises and a fear of anything not Winchester. John and Mary had wanted to take Cas in but money was tight and as soon as they were able to offer a place for Cas he’d found a home with Chuck and his house of boys. When Cas felt comfortable (after about a year) he asked about Dean and if it was ok if he was gay. He was terrified Chuck would send him away but the Angel had simply hugged him with his arms and wings and said nothing Cas could do would drive him away.

“Do you think you might have sex soon?” Cas shook his head.

“Not yet, do you think Dean would hate me for that? He’s going to break up with me because I don’t want to have sex! He’s gonna see me as a baby and—”

“Cas!” Chuck stopped his rambling. “Dean will wait for you. I was just asking because you and I will have to sit down and have The Talk soon.” Cas nodded. As kind and wonderful Chuck was being right now, it still didn’t help his present situation.

“Ok, but um, Chuck…” the older man just waited, “How do I…how do I get rid of it?” Cas said in a rush looking down guiltily at his shorts where the damn zipper was still standing high.

“Wha—oh!” Chuck had far too much experience raising boys so he knew how to lead Cas through this. He went over the basics and informed Cas the wonders of lube. Cas still seemed reluctant.

“Don’t worry I’ll keep Gabe out of your room, and away from the food.” Cas nodded his face still inflamed at what he was about to do and even worse was that Chuck knew exactly what Cas was going to go do.

But then when he got his pants around his ankles and his hand lubed up thoughts of Chuck were gone. Thoughts of any kind were gone except when Cas looked down. He was fascinated by his hard cock and when he touched himself he gasped at the sensations. His hips thrust forward and his hand clenched at how amazing it all felt. He started to get a feel for it and soon he was coating his hand and part of the mattress. Cas thought about Dean and how much he wanted to do this again. This had been fun, and the feelings were amazing, but as he lay back on the bed Cas missed his boyfriend. He missed Dean’s little laughs and his arms around him.

Cas sighed and wished, not for the first time, they were eighteen. He wanted a _home._ Chuck was awesome and created a great place for Cas, but this wasn’t Cas’s home. It was a place he loved to be, but it wasn’t his place. It was Chuck’s and this bed would be for someone else after him. He wanted to make something with Dean. Cas would have wild fantasies of waking up in their shared bed, their limbs and wings tangled together. Dean would cook breakfast and Cas would go to work. Sometimes there were pets, sometimes kids. Maybe they would foster like Chuck.

Most Demons abandoned their children because Demons just didn’t care. They had no feeling or concept of love and cared for nothing but themselves. So that left millions of children to fend for themselves in homes and at the mercy of the state. What made it harder was when you took into account that children almost always took after their parents. So no one wanted to take in an abandoned child for fear of when they would present as Demon. Usually it wasn’t until high school did anyone present but there were those that showed their tendencies early on. Michael, Lucifer, Balthazar, and Castiel were all around the same age so when they presented Chuck was going to have his hands full.

Dean was bound to present as Angel. Mary and John were high class Angels so Dean’s future was set.

Cas however…

None of his previous foster homes would tell but Cas finally was able to get Chuck to break down and tell him the truth.

Cas was found in a cardboard box behind a dumpster. He was a newborn and had no coverings whatsoever. The first two homes were afraid of him. The third…well even Dean didn’t know the extent of what the third did.

There were those that believed Demon could be beaten out. And Cas’s third home had tried.

Then there was Chuck. Who was kind and wonderful and he let Cas know whoever, or whatever Cas turned out to be…Chuck would always care for him.

So Cas was happy, and he would just have to wait (sometimes impatiently) until his eighteenth birthday.

***

“Gabriel where did you put the tents?” Chuck called, and the sandy haired boy bolted back to his foster father’s voice.

“Right there, under the tarps.” No matter how crazy or annoying ten year old Gabriel was he did love his foster family and tried for the best.

“Should I ask why they are under the tarps?”

“Because the tarps go down first, duh Chuck. You’re always complaining that you have to take the whole truck apart to get to the tarps. I put them down last so we can set the tarps, then the tents, then we’ll have a place to put all our stuff.” Eight pairs of eyes looked at him in wonder, “What? Cassie did you pack my candy?” Cas nodded dumbfounded and pointed.

“I think we finally found a good place for Gabe to channel his ADHD,” Chuck laughed.

Their campsite was set up quickly, with everyone having to pull Cas and Dean apart. The tents held four, three, and two, and per tradition everyone drew lots for bunkmates. Gabe, Chuck, Sam, and Lucifer were in the biggest tent, Michael, Balthazar, and John were in the middle tent and much to everyone’s cringe Cas and Dean in the smallest tent.

“We would have snuck off in the woods anyway,” Dean laughed.

“Remember last year?” Sam catcalled his brother. Dean and Cas had snuck off in the night to kiss but when they heard rustling their imaginations got the better of them and they ran yelling back into the camps. What they were absolutely convinced was a bear ended up being Michael and Balthazar laughing so hard they were rolling on the ground.

When they’d settled around the campfire everyone trying to keep warm with blankets, Gabe led Sam on a merry chase with a flaming marshmallow.

“Now it feels like the camping trip has officially started,” Cas laughed from his place in Dean’s arms against his chest. Everyone chuckled as they saw just the orange flame bobbing up and down. Dean tightened his arms and the blanket around them and kissed the side of Cas’s face when no one was looking.

“I woke up thinking about you.” He said softly, “My sheets need changing…” he smirked.

“Have you tried lube?” Cas whispered, he glanced over but Bal was in the middle of telling a ghost story so no one was paying attention to them. “Chuck and I talked about…stuff, and he told me it’s better with lube.”

“Is it?” Cas nodded.

“Oh yes, you can get your hand to move really fast…” Dean’s eyes widened, Cas was normally shy and his blush was creeping back in.

“Hey we’re both learning here, you should teach me all you know,” Dean wiggled his eyebrows and Cas groaned.

“Dean?” Dean was resting in Cas’s arms in their tent. Chuck had called lights out shortly after Bal’s story as he could easily read the light in Gabriel’s eyes and he knew a prank would be imminent if he didn’t get them to bed now.

“Yeah,” Dean said softy. They were tired after making out twice, ok five times but who was counting, it was late and they were ready to sleep but Cas couldn’t let a thought go.

“Are you ok…with me…waiting?” Dean turned around and looked at his boyfriend, his face scrunched in confusion.

“Waiting, like for what? For you after school because you have to be in every brainy club the school has?”

“No, I mean waiting for…us…to…um, have sex,” Cas breathed the last word, even though everyone was asleep and no one could hear he was still nervous.

“Of course,” Dean caressed Cas’s face, “I’m not ready either. You just had your first orgasm yesterday and mine was a week ago. I’m nowhere near ready.” Cas sighed at the comforting words and kissed his love.

“Love you.”

“Mmmm, you too,” Dean kissed harder and suddenly his leg was between Cas’s and Cas, going with instinct, shoved his thigh up too. There was still a bit of space between their bodies, but the heat radiating off each was enough to throw the shared sleeping bag off.

After bumping heads too many times they worked out a rhythm and soon they were the perfect picture of the horny teenagers they were. They humped and grunted and their fingers dug into different parts (though the parts were still innocent, mostly sides and arms and legs). Cas rubbed Dean’s back and Dean cupped his boyfriend’s face to kiss hard.

“Oh Dean, Dean, Dean,” Cas whispered like a prayer as Dean just nodded and kissed.

They still were too inexperienced to know when their orgasm would come. But as luck would have it they came together and for the first time their chests and shafts were flush and tight. Their lips and tongues didn’t slow as their bodies did, but increased and they rolled on the air mattress before falling, unceremoniously off on the hard ground.

“We’re going to have to wash our boxers in the river if we do this too many times.” Dean giggled after they’d changed and settled back in their previous positions, this time no space was between their bodies.

“Mmm, packed extra,” Cas yawned.

“Well aren’t you just perfect,” Dean cooed.

“Shut up,” they giggled and fell asleep quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I've never raised boys, I'm not a boy, so I had to do some research about that "first time" and I think I got more confused the more I researched, so if this doesn't make sense then my excuse is that they're angels and demons and their hormones work different from ours...that makes sense...right? If I got it so embarrassingly wrong please message me!
> 
> Or just message me anyway because it's my favorite part of the day!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating lovelies! If you're following my other story you'll know and you can skip this PSA. I was working through some really bad family matters and now I'm much better and throwing myself into writing! I have almost all of this fic planned out (now comes the work of writing the damn thing) and my updates should be more frequent!
> 
> Thanks for your patience, your comments, and your support!

The camping trip was awesome as always. Dean felt giddy every time he looked at Cas. The dude was just so _perfect_ that nothing he could do would make Dean love him any less. John and Chuck noticed, well actually everyone noticed, but there was a kind of sweet innocence to it. The two were just so cute together.

“Have you ever had a gay foster kid before?” John asked quietly as they fished and watched the boys attempt to fly fish.

“Yeah, three,” Chuck yelled at Gabriel to stop chasing Sam with the worms.

“Is,” John paused to yell at Sam to not bet Gabe that he could eat said worms. “Is the Talk any different?” Chuck laughed and shook his head.

“No, just letting them know you support them is the most important. Being safe that’s another,” Chuck thought for a moment, “I suppose also not being ashamed of what you like, and then just running through the basic mechanics of how it works,” John reddened.

“I can’t believe I’m about to have this talk with my son.” His wings rustled nervously. “I just remember holding him when he was a baby and now…” Chuck turned to face him.

“Are you ashamed that Dean is gay?” There is no judgment in his voice, no anger, just the invitation to be open and honest.

“Hell no! I just mean he’s my little boy and now he’s getting ready to have sex and…” John blushed again. Chuck laughed and clapped him on the shoulder.

“Don’t worry, it’s awkward as hell but if they come to you for advice then it’s a step in the right direction. They aren’t just going in blind without a thought or looking through the internet. I’ve always thought that if one of my kids comes to me for advice then it means they trust me and I try to be as good and honest as possible.”

“How many kids have you fostered?” John was in awe.

“Seventeen,” Chuck called to Gabriel that once he caught the fish put it back in the river, not play with its mouth and lip synch with it. They didn’t talk about the high number of kids needing homes because of who their parents might be.

“You know,” Chuck said as they were grabbing the fish they caught out of the basket and watching the boys play some complicated game involving Bal   up a tree, “More of my foster kids have turned out Angels than Demons.” They settled by the fire and John started fixing the fish. “People are so terrified of what these kids turn out to be and they forget that they’re just kids.” He never stopped looking at his boys, all sweaty faced and laughing. Cas was in the middle shouting out, his blue eyes alive with a happy fire. “When Castiel came to me he had so many bruises and he was terrified of me. His last home had thought they could beat the Demon out of him. They didn’t see him as a kid, just as someone who could burn their house down some day…” Chuck trialed off and noticed that John was very still and his warm, brown eyes were flinty. His slate grey wings shook a little in anger. “John….I’m sorry, I thought you knew.”

“No, I guessed, but I didn’t think it was…he went through a phase where only Dean could get him to smile and even then it was work. He came over less and he was quieter. But I thought it was that he was going through the foster kid thing, wondering about his past, his future.” John put his head in his hands, “He was there for three years.” John rose and walked off, his entire body shaking.

“Lucifer,” Chuck called the oldest boy over and showed him how to clean the fish. Luc was good at cooking and he was responsible so Chuck left him in charge and followed after John.

He found the other man by the river just staring out.

“Do you want me to stay?” John was fingering the dark 6 that was tattooed on his wrist, his classification.

“I’m the man, I’m the adult I should have…” his voice died. “Cas has been coming to our house since he was five and he and Dean have been inseparable for ten years, that kid is like a third son to me and I didn’t protect him.”

“You can’t beat yourself up. If they don’t want you to know kids are very good at hiding things.”

“But you knew! Right away!”

“That’s because I’m trained to know the signs. He didn’t act the same way around you as he did me and he wasn’t my first kid to come with bruises.” Chuck stared out at the water and it was hard to read his expression. “Lucifer came with a broken arm. Michael wouldn’t sit down the first three months he was at the house and he always eyed the door. And there’s a reason Gabriel is a fast runner.”

“I just don’t know why he wouldn’t tell me, I should ask…”

“I wouldn’t, he had his reasons, he probably didn’t want to let you down. And he knew there was a reason you couldn’t take him in. He most likely didn’t want you feeling guilty that you couldn’t adopt him.”

“The kid was eight! How could he have been so mature…” John’s voice dropped, of course Cas was mature, the kid shook his hand every time they met since he was five. “I lost my job and the recession…Mary and I went to the state office but they said with just Mary’s income they couldn’t send Cas to us. So instead they sent him to her…” the few times John had met Naomi were enough and now he wanted to return every bruise she’d given to Cas.

“Castiel knows that, you give him the best possible thing: a home.”

“Well so do you.” Chuck nodded slightly.

“It’s different with foster kids, they know I didn’t choose them. They were sent to me and even if I give them all the love and attention I have to give sometimes it’s hard to let that thought go. They don’t see it as theirs, but you gave him that. He knows he’s valued and always has a place in your home. And he has Dean.” They both chuckled.

“Yes he has Dean, I’ve never seen that boy so love struck.  Mary said they were soul mates after the first time Castiel spent the night. Dean just brightens up whenever Cas is around.” They stood quietly for a while more before returning to camp. The fish were prepared but Lucifer had waited to put them in the pan.

***

“Cas,” Dean whispered shaking his boyfriend’s shoulder lightly. “Cas,” he shook harder.

“Wha-“ Cas blinked blearily and smiled sleepily at his boyfriend.

“Come on I wanted to spend our last morning together,” Dean pulled a half asleep Cas out of their tent and led him through the trees to the river. They could see the pink lines of dawn across the sky and Dean grabbed Cas from behind and wrapped them in a blanket. They settled into one another and on the mossy bank.

“I’m going to miss this.” Cas said after a while and quite a few kisses.

“Mmm, me too. Maybe we can make this a bi annual thing, you know go in the fall before school starts.” Dean nosed Cas’s ear.

“I’d like that,” Cas sighed, “I think the others wouldn’t mind we could see the fall colors.” Dean hummed and captured plump lips again.

“Ok,” they made out harder now, with small noises becoming louder when Cas settled himself straddling Dean’s waist. Dean brought his knees up so Cas could lean back and the brunet started circling his hips grinding down hard. He’d become used to Dean’s body, how he trembled and buried his face in Cas’s neck just before he came. He would hold Cas so tight, crushing him into completion.

They were getting better at lasting a bit longer, but neither had really made it past ninety seconds yet. This time Dean refused to let their lips go, he wanted to feel Cas’s tongue when he came. Cas seemed to feel the same because he pushed his hips down hard and brought his hands up to grab at Dean’s hair. He frantically ate Dean’s face as his body shook with pre-orgasm.

Dean grunted in his boyfriend’s mouth and brought his hands down to Cas’s back. Then his sneaky fingers went down to Cas’s ass. An ass that Dean had wanted in his hands for months now. Cas panted in his mouth as he pushed his hips back into Dean’s hands and forward into Dean’s cock.

“Dean,” Cas dragged and he was kissed again hard. They came shortly after that moaning in mouths and bodies shuddering together.

“I think we lasted almost two minutes there,” Dean chuckled, still refusing to let go of his boyfriend’s ass.

“A personal best,” Cas murmured into Dean’s neck. “I’m glad I have laundry duty when we get home, I really don’t feel like telling Gabriel why I went through fifteen pairs of boxers in seven days.”

“That’s not counting the ones we washed in the river.” Dean buried his face in Cas’s hair. He was addicted to the smell of his boyfriend’s hair, though a week without showering had made him a bit rank.

“I don’t want to go back,” Cas complained. “I like it here in nature, we can be alone and everything is so beautiful.”

“Yeah, but I have a promise to fulfill when we get home.” They both blushed but looked eager. The other morning when they were busy getting rid of the morning wood they had Dean had slid a clumsy hand down Cas’s front and rested heavily on his lower stomach. They froze and Cas came at the slight touch with Dean following. After they talked and decided the first time they…well the first time they did _that_ they should be in Cas’s bunk and not smelling like old sweat and fish.

***

After what felt like _days_ everyone was packed and piled in either John’s or Chuck’s cars. Sam and Gabe were tucked in the back, next to a sleeping Bal, giggling over a comic book and Cas and Dean sat in the front of John’s Impala arguing over classic rock. John wanted to ask Cas about the conversation he’d had with Chuck but he didn’t know if the boy wanted his oldest son to know.

After a three hour drive all almost cried with relief when they saw Chuck’s house at the end of the street. Mary came out waving, while the boys were on their camping trip Mary came over and had a vacation with Charlie. Chuck was grateful, there was far too much testosterone and Charlie seemed to really like Mary. And in a few years Mary would be invaluable when Charlie started having the same questions that Cas was going through.

All the boys fell over themselves running to the shower all yelling and laughing. The foster boys tried to hug Charlie but she wrinkled her nose and told them to go get clean. Chuck smiled gratefully and shook Mary’s hand.

“We have food that will be ready in a few hours, we figured you’d be sick of fish.” Mary smiled and kissed her husband lightly. “Uff you need a shower too.”

“Umm, could I come back with you?” Cas was quiet, “There’s less of a line for the bathroom.”

“You boys go,” Mary called, “We girls still have some things left to finish in the kitchen. Come back when you’re all clean.”

They piled into the Impala again and John made the boys paper, rock, scissors for first dibs on one of the two bathrooms.

“Hey Cas?” Cas looked with polite question as Sam and Dean tore to the showers. “You, uh, you know that Mary and I…we love you like one of our sons, right?” Cas nodded confused. It had taken years but he knew he was part of the Winchester family now. “And you know that a few years ago when you…switched homes, we wanted to adopt you but…”Cas’s eyes were wide, he figured the Winchesters wanted to foster him, but no one adopted a potential Demon. No one. “The state told us no, we went to file the paperwork and we were told we didn’t have enough money to properly take care of you.”

“I understand,” Cas nodded.

“I just wanted to tell you that you can come to me or Mary about anything.” Cas nodded again. “I didn’t want you to get the wrong idea that we…didn’t want you.”

“Oh no, sir, no I never thought that. I was just surprised. I know no one ever adopts the potential Demon.” John’s face softened.

“Whatever your Assignment is that has nothing to do with it, son. You could be a Level Ten Demon and we’ll treat you like family.” Cas nodded but it was the one thing he still had trouble believing. No matter how much he’d been told it was a lie he refused to believe.

“Cas!” Cas gave a polite small bow to John and followed Dean’s voice.

“Shit, Dean! I forgot my clothes,” he went into Dean’s room and his face froze when he saw what Dean had on. Which was water droplets and a towel. Cas’s head actually did the head tilt as he took in a perfect chest and how the water drops raced one another down chiseled muscles. It wasn’t like Cas had seen his boyfriend topless before. They’d gone swimming, but he’d never seen Dean so… _intimately_ before. There was no one else around, and a towel was vastly different from swimming trunks. There was also the added connotation of settings too. Cas blushed, when you were at a swimming pool or locker room you expected to see bare chests, but when you saw someone half naked in a bedroom…well that was a whole different game.

Dean turned equally red and the smirk died on his face as Cas continued not to do anything but stare. His hand gripped the doorknob and his mouth was still in the shape of the last syllable of whatever he was about to say. Fear gripped Dean, what if Cas didn’t like this? What if he thought Dean was pushing for sex?

“Um, Cas?” Cas blinked dully and seemed to be pulling himself out of a deep trance.

“Don’t move,” he grabbed a towel and took the world’s fastest shower. The shampoo was barely washed out of his hair as the water was turned off. Cas was terrified that the sight of Dean would fade from his body, but his shaft finally worked in his favor as his desire only heated and hardened him when he realized the last naked person standing where he was was _Dean_.

He toweled himself off and dried his hair just enough so that he wasn’t dripping and returned. His boyfriend hadn’t moved but was leaning casually against his door frame. Dean’s breath stopped, his entire frame froze when he saw Cas’s matching outfit.

“Are we…” Dean swallowed a large lump in his throat. “Gonna…” his voice was husky as Cas pulled him by his towel into his bedroom. Cas had decided something in the shower. Dean loved him. So that allowed him to be himself and be bold with what he wanted.

And he wanted to press his naked body against his boyfriend’s and rock their hips and come so hard they’d have to take another shower.

“Cas,” Dean whispered, “We should,” his voice died as his boyfriend opened his mouth and silently licked his chest clean of the remaining shower water. He threw his head back as a mouth found his nipple and sucked, taking it gently in his teeth. “Fuck,” Dean raked his hands through wet hair and his towel danced in front of him.

“Off,” Cas grunted and with a tug Dean was, for the first time ever, naked in front of the only person he wanted to be naked with. Cas just stopped everything and looked down at the flesh which was jumping up and down to greet him. Cas gently cupped it and ran his palm up and down and Dean leaned his head back and hissed. He sighed and closed his eyes at just how _freaking_ amazing it was to have Cas touching him and he had to use everything in his power to not blow his load right then and there.

Yet, as awesome as all this felt they weren’t close enough. Dean took the liberty of pulling his boyfriend by the towel to him and they fell on top of the bed. Dean brought Cas’s face up to his and they went from zero to sixty in about half a second with that one heated look. Cas’s tongue ended up in Dean’s spine, and Dean’s hands were instantly down the towel and scratching at the firm ass frantically. Cas made a small chocking noise in the back of his throat and rolled himself into Dean’s hands.

“Oh Dean,” Cas groaned and he sank down again. His legs came up high so that his knees were nearly in Dean’s armpits. He was open completely under the towel and Dean felt a heavy mass of skin on his stomach and he just _had_ to see. His fingers were itching on the towel and after years he was finally going to see Cas.

“Hey Dean do you have your laundry—” John’s voice died as he took in the scene in front of him. There was absolutely no way they could explain their way out of this. Dean was lying ass naked across his bed with Cas straddling him wearing only a towel. Fortunately Cas’s towel was covering them but it was more that clear Dean was wearing nothing. “Ok…boys get dressed and just…I’m going to drop Sammy off at Chuck’s and then,” his voice died. “Just meet me upstairs.”

Cas turned fifty thousand shades of red and neither could look at one another as Dean dressed.

“Dean, I don’t have clothes,” Cas stared only at his lap and spoke quietly.  Dean tossed some jeans and boxers and a shirt down. “This is my shirt!” Cas said indignantly and just like that the tension was broken and both started giggling.

“Can you believe his face?” Dean giggled and Cas nearly fell over.

“Should we act serious, or should we act really sorry?” Cas tried not to laugh but he couldn’t help it.

They waited in the kitchen, and then waited longer and when they got bored Cas lifted Dean and set him on one of the stools. He placed his palms on the counter behind his boyfriend and leaned in and kissed hard. Dean snaked his fingers under Cas’s shirt band and circled his fingers on the flushed skin just above his jean line. Cas took his hands from the counter and wrapped them around Dean’s back, opening his mouth so he could swallow Dean’s tongue.

“Well I suppose I better be happy that at least you’re dressed,” John said wryly and the boys broke away quickly. Cas wiped at the spit on his lips and Dean licked his red lips trying to feel embarrassed that his father caught them…well doing something. John held up a pizza and gestured to the family table that had housed Cas nearly as many times as it had Sam and Dean.

“Castiel I talked with Chuck and he said if you’d be more comfortable having this chat with him then you’re free to leave, but he knows…um, everything so don’t think you’re getting out of this.” Cas nodded, now fully realizing what was going to happen.

“I’ll stay, sir, if that’s ok, we can keep Dean in line,” he smiled and John laughed. This was going to be awkward as hell but he might as well get it over with now.

“Ok fine, well um, where to begin…um first of all we love you, both of you.” John looked fiercely at Cas just as much as his son. “I know you probably already know we accept you for being gay, but I wanted to lay that on the table now. No matter what you do we’ll always support you.” John scratched the back of his neck, “Oh hell let’s just get this over with. I know you’re not having sex yet, but from what I just saw I can tell it won’t be far off. I did some research and talked to Chuck and he helped me explain things.

“First off since you’re both virgins you won’t need protection now,” he looked at both and they nodded, Dean tried to snigger but Cas kicked him under the table. “But you should know about condoms and how to use them.”

“We had that talk in health class,” Cas said helpfully and John relaxed, even his grey wings eased down a bit.

“Thank god, we used a banana in high school and I don’t know if I can relive that experience again.” Cas and Dean laughed a little, “Ok well like I said you won’t be able to catch anything from one another, but if you branch out into other partners always have a condom, even if you are…hell, um, _receiving_ or _giving_ you can still catch anything.” Cas nodded even Dean had sobered. “And um, condoms can also help if you’re receiving and, um, you don’t want stuff up…there.” John reddened. “Chuck said it was important that you know, some men don’t like the feeling of it because it’s messier, so just know it’s ok if you want to use a condom, they do more than prevent pregnancy. Which, um, we don’t have to worry about.

“Ok next, um sex.” If it were possible John got even redder. But Cas was glad he was talking to them about this, as awkward as it was he really didn’t know how to have sex other than what they’d been doing, and oral too he guessed. “Well Chuck said he already talked to you about lube Cas, you’re gonna need that. You’re always going to need lube,” John went through the basics of anal sex, “Always make sure you’re comfortable, if it’s painful or you feel like it’s too tight then you back off and use fingers. Sex is supposed to feel amazing,” John was a bit more confident. “Sex is possibly the greatest thing two people can do together, but you have to make sure both of you are ready and not hesitant. If you force yourself into sex it’s not going to feel good at all.” He paused and looked at both of them hard. “Now I know you both love one another and you will be respectful of one another but I have some ground rules.” Cas and Dean both nodded, they expected that they wouldn’t just be allowed to have sex all over the place.

“Mary, Chuck and I talked and we know that you’re going to be having sex. We’d rather not try and ban you because then that can lead to a whole mess of trouble. We know it’ll be awkward but we feel it would be better to provide a safe place rather than forcing you to sneak around and feel like you have to lie to us. Chuck does ask that you try not to have sex at his place when everyone is home because that can lead to people walking in and with younger ones…” John looked up at them, “I know you’re smart kids, but when sex becomes involved you’d be surprised just how dumb you can be. So if you’re going to do it at Chuck’s just be sure Gabriel and Charlie are gone.

“Next, be respectful. If we are here we may know you’re having sex, but we don’t want to _know_ you’re having sex.” Cas looked at Dean in question but the kid looked dumbfounded. “Keep it quiet guys, if you’re gonna have sex with us in the house we don’t want to hear it.” Cas reddened and Dean smirked, John narrowed his eyes at his son. “Get that grin off your face boy, how would you like to hear your mom and I _enjoying_ a roll in the hay?” That wiped Dean’s smug face right off. “I didn’t think so,” John chuckled. “Just keep it respectful, also I don’t want to walk into what I just did a while ago so be sure you lock your door. I know I should have knocked but if you boys aren’t smart enough to use a lock then you deserve to get caught.

“On top of that I know you two are gonna make out, hell I couldn’t keep my hands off your mom when we were dating.” John chuckled again at the groan of “DAD!” from his eldest, “But you _will_ maintain a respectful boundary when you aren’t in your bedroom. If I or any of this family or Chuck’s catches you doing anything other than old fashioned tonsil tennis in any shared space at either of our houses you will be grounded. You will also have me or Sam as a chaperone until you turn eighteen.” Cas and Dean swallowed hard. “None of us needs to see hands down pants or up shirts, keep it respectful and we’re gonna have no problems.” John seemed to think hard. “Do you boys have any questions?” Cas now understood why John had brought a pizza none of them even attempted at eating, it gave them something to play with, something to bide time.

“I, um,” Cas played with his crust, ripping it apart, “Um…oral.” He whispered and refused to look up from his slice. “Can, um, can you get sick from the um…” he gestured his hands.

“No, you can’t get sick from getting sperm in your mouth, or from swallowing it. I’ve heard it doesn’t taste all that pleasant, but it depends on the man and your preference.” John was secretly deeply glad his wife was addicted to _Sex and the City_ with Cas’s surprising question. “But you wanna make sure you’re clean down there, not like STDs but just general hygiene and that sort of thing, also if you go around the back too…” they all blushed at that. “Especially if you want to try oral back there, you be sure you’re clean for your partner or your partner will get very sick.” 

“Is it,” Dean worked a fingernail and then played with a crumb on the table. “Is it ok if you um, want it…” Dean’s courage failed and he closed his mouth.

“Dean as long as you’re with a consensual partner, and I mean consensual in _everything_ then it’s all ok. Sex can make you feel powerful, it can give you the greatest of highs with your partner. But it only is good when both of you are in agreement of what you want.” The boys nodded and John fell into a silence with them while they all ate a slice of pizza.

“I have a question for you,” John broke the silence and Cas was afraid for a moment that John was going to ask them what they had or hadn’t done. “Do you two, are you…” he faltered, “Do you think you’re gonna...?” An unspoken question arose, but from looking at the angel Cas could tell it wasn’t the one he was dreading.

“He’s it,” Cas said softly and Dean looked up from his pizza, his mouth stuffed. “That’s what you’re asking, sir? If we might break up?” Dean swallowed quickly and looked slightly panicked.

“Yes, I’m sorry Castiel we love you, but what if…what if you’re better suited as brothers?”

“He’s it, sir, there’s no one else.” Cas grabbed Dean’s hand and held it tightly. “I know I should have asked this a long time ago, but may I have the honor of being your son’s boyfriend?” Dean choked.

“You’re asking for my hand, really?!”

“Dean,” John admonished, “This boy is doing right by you, you be sure you treat him with respect and integrity.” Dean nodded, “Castiel I couldn’t be more honored you want to date my son.” John threw down his half slice of pizza and rose from the table. “Well if you don’t have anything more I’m going to head over to Chuck’s . Oh and another rule, you will not be forcing me, your mother or your brother to clean your sheets. If you make a mess you will be cleaning it up.”

With that John walked away and grabbed his jacket. He came back and pulled both boys into a hug.

“I don’t want you to leave here thinking we, or I don’t love you. I’m so proud of everything you’ve done and how well you love one another. I don’t have to worry about you not taking care of each other, and just know you can come to me or Mary or Chuck about anything. No matter if you think you’ll get in trouble or if you feel guilty, we will always love you.” He gave them each an individual hug one more time and left.

Dean looked ready to bolt downstairs but Cas sat back down pulling his boyfriend by the hand.

“We should finish eating and talk.”

“Talk?” Dean looked like that was the last thing he wanted in the world.

“Dean you can lie, hide your feelings, cheat, anything, with anyone but me.” Dean tried to huff but his boyfriend glared, “Anyone but _me_. You will be honest with me because you are safe, anything you say will be fine. I will only stop loving you if you lie to me or close me off.” Dean nodded, this was _Cas_ the guy who loved him unconditionally and would never hate him.

“Only you,” he whispered and Cas beamed.

“I’d never ask for anything else.” They ate for a while before Cas broke the silence. “You want to tell me what you were going to ask your dad?” Dean looked slightly confused. “When you asked if it was ok if you wanted something…” Dean flushed and looked down.

“It’s not important.” He said softly and hands came to his face.

“It’s important to me,” Cas rubbed their noses together earning a small smile.

“But Dad said that both of us have to be, uh, consensual and I don’t know if…”

“How will you know if you don’t ask?” Dean nodded.

“I want to try, I don’t know, um,” Dean flicked his eyes up and then down again, “Rougher,” he whispered and if Cas had been farther than their foreheads touching he wouldn’t have heard it. “I, um, the other day when you bit my lip and we pushed against one another, um, it was really hot and I just…well…would you want to try that again?”

“Do you want to be dominated, or um, just fight against each other?” it was unfamiliar territory but they were together and safe.

“I don’t know,” Dean said honestly. “Can we just try stuff out?” Cas nodded. “Is there anything you want?” Cas shook his head.

“I don’t know,” he mirrored his boyfriend’s answer. “I think just finding what works for us and what we like we’ll learn.” Dean nodded.

“You wanna learn now?” Cas threw his leftover pizza down.

“I thought you’d never ask,” they slotted their fingers and made their way slowly down to Dean’s room.

“Naked?” Dean whispered. Cas shook his head, his boldness had not evaporated but he was ready to take things slow. He’d seen all of his boyfriend, even had his hand on him for a brief moment, and now he was ready to make out and lay for hours close in to one another.

He climbed up into his bunk, for some reason it felt safer up there, away from eyes and the outside world. He didn’t look back but felt Dean crawling up behind him and they fell into the familiarity of lying together made from many years. Dean was on his back and Cas on his side and they both looked at one another in apprehension.

“Oh _come here_ ,” Cas pulled on Dean’s shirt and fused their mouths together. Their tongues were greedy and fought for dominance and Dean practically yelled when Cas took his lip in his teeth and his hand pushed the shirt up so he could scratch at his stomach.

“I thought,” Dean said breathily as he struggled out of his tee-shirt and pulled Cas’s off as well, “You didn’t want naked?”

“Mmph,” Cas couldn’t be bothered with words, and he just attacked the mouth and face in front of him. He moved away from his boyfriend’s lips and onto his neck. Dean moaned loudly when he felt a hard bite on his neck and he turned to give his boyfriend more access.

“Oh fuck, baby, bite me, mark me,” Dean begged and Cas raised his head his eyes almost flashing black.

“You talk too much,” he leaned down and sucked a large mark on Dean’s chest and the boy writhed under him. Cas rested a heavy hand on his lower stomach and then moved up so he could fuse their mouths back together. Cas kept his palm flat on his boyfriend’s stomach but started to tease further down earning sighs and moans from Dean.

Dean thought he’d last out, he thought he was doing great. He didn’t blow his load when Cas first pressed his warm palm to his naked skin. He stayed calm when that palm decided to rub his stomach and sneak fingers below his waist band. He was even (mostly) collected when the fingers decided to pop open his jeans and slid the zipper down.

But he was damned if he was going to just lie there when those fingers slipped all the way down, past jeans, boxers, everything.

“Cas, oh fuck, I love you, love you so damn much,” he moaned over and over as the hand wrapped around him and Cas was in awe.

He was in awe with the way Dean’s flushed skin made his freckles even more prominent.

He was in awe how his Adonis of a boyfriend could be brought down but just a few kisses and touches.

He was in awe at how Dean mixed praises with pleas and they were all for Castiel.

Finally he was in awe with the thick cock in his hand filling him in no way he thought possible. He had never felt something so soft, so silky, and so thick before. Even when touching himself he could control it. He knew what his touches felt like, and what it felt like to be touched. Yet, with Dean it felt totally new and different. The shaft felt heavy in his hands, and it jumped and twitched and drove Cas nuts.

He went back to attacking Dean’s neck and soon the tanned flesh was covered with red bites and purple hickies. Dean was going insane on the sharp bites and the hand on him was taking everything of his soul. Cas started moving his hand up and down while he sucked hard on Dean’s collarbone. The hot cock in fingers twitched and he used the oozing precum to slick his hand and make it go faster.

Dean’s back arched in a beautiful circle of bliss as Cas continued to assault his neck and shaft. He honestly couldn’t form words in his head beyond the mouth on his neck and the hand on his cock. He moaned deep in the back of his throat and nearly screamed when Cas’s other hand found his nipple and twisted it almost painfully.

“Oh fuuuuck, _Cas_ ,” Dean moaned and groaned as his boyfriend’s hand moved faster and faster. Cas had latched on to his other nipple and the sensations were too much for Dean. He came loud and hard in his best friend’s hand shaking their bunk bed with the power of his orgasm.

Dean felt like he was going to fall through the bed as his entire body went boneless and heavy. His head fell hard on the pillow and he could only lazily feel Cas at his side. Every orgasm with his boyfriend was getting more and more intense and Dean worried that soon he was going to die when Cas brought him high.

When he had more of his head together he looked down and counted the half dozen bites and marks that littered his chest. Cas was on his side watching him in quiet amusement, content to wait patiently for Dean to catch up.

“That was amazing,” he breathed.

“Mmm,” Cas mouthed at his neck. “It was.” There was something nagging in the back of Dean’s mind but he was still too befuddled to fumble with the thought now.

“Thanks,” he caught dancing eyes and pulled Cas up into a messy, lazy kiss. “I have to get you off!” he pulled back and tried to get to his boyfriend’s pants. His boyfriend’s pants that were already open and flashing red boxers. His boyfriends pants that were already open, flashing red boxers and sporting a new, _large_ , wet patch. “You already…” Dean did a further investigation and saw his jeans had a matching wet spot.

“Sorry,” Cas mouthed at his shoulder, “You were so into it and going crazy I kind of…”

“Used my leg as a humping stand?” Dean chuckled and Cas smiled lustily at him. “I’ll make it up to you, baby, I’m just a little tired.”

“Rest, we are so far from being done tonight.”

And yeaaaaah Dean was going to be hella fine being dominated by this skinny sixteen year old.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I'm not a father, I've never had a gay son, but I guess I wrote this for all who needed the talk. I guess I wanted to create a John who was loving and accepting of his son and it was wonderful therapy as my family shit had to deal with a father who does not accept me and probably never will. If you have ever been through this I am truly sorry and I hope I have written this chapter to a good standard. 
> 
> Love to all!


	4. Chapter 4

Cas never thought he would lose his virginity on a Tuesday. He never thought he would lose his virginity at school. He never thought he would lose his virginity in a closet after lunch. He also never thought he’d be late to a class because he was losing his virginity.

Now if he was honest oral sex wasn’t exactly losing his virginity, but finally feeling all of Dean, to finally _taste_ him was exactly like losing his virginity.

He woke up like any other day. He and Gabriel shared a room and the younger boy snored loudly and grunted terribly when the alarm went off. Dean had showed Cas a video of an alarm clock that rolled around on the floor and Cas was sorely tempted to save his allowance to get his damn foster brother the clock just so he didn’t have to listen to twenty minutes of Gabe grunting and slapping the snooze button. He did enjoy hearing the young boy falling out of bed but that only happened when the snooze had been hit nearly ten times.

Cas showered and elbowed out a spot for himself at a noisy breakfast table. He didn’t think he’d ever find happiness like this. Yeah he knew how to be happy at the Winchester’s house, but he was always a guest. This was his home and he was shocked as he looked around the table at the boys yelling and laughing and clacking their knives to get to the butter and jam. Chuck looked on with pride as the boys all caroused, but for some reason they were all calm around Charlie. When the little girl came in everyone settled and Lucifer gave up his seat so the little redhead could sit down.

Cas moved on, out of the house where Dean was there on the sidewalk, like he’d done ever since he was ten and _hello_ mom I can walk to school by myself stop following us in the minivan seriously you are so weird. Dean held his hand out and Cas grabbed it just like every day since they were eleven. His foster brothers teased, but the couple hardly cared. Sam ran with Gabe to the junior high and when they stood at the high school doors Lucifer ruffled Cas’s hair and strode down the halls. His warm hazel wings reminded Cas of butterscotch and he still couldn’t believe Luc had gotten a seven. Michael also had presented, but all the boys in the house learned not to mention the black five on his wrist. Bal claimed he had fallen during track practice when Chuck saw the bruise over his eye, but the boys all knew better. So they learned and gave Michael a wide berth.

He and Dean walked to their lockers, Cas’s was always first and then Dean’s because it was closer to their first hour class. Their school was relatively small so they were able to share three of their seven classes, the ones they didn’t share were because Cas took all advanced classes and Dean just got frustrated when he couldn’t understand trigonometry. But it did mean he got to watch his super hot, super smart boyfriend study in the library. Dean could sit all day and just watch the way his boyfriend did his homework, or how he read a textbook, or how he took notes.

So they went to first hour English, which Dean was glad his boyfriend was there to help because having to take apart Heathcliff’s character in _Wuthering Heights_ bored him to pieces. Robotics he was good at, Cas was in awe at the way his boyfriend was able to just _look_ at a piece of machinery and know exactly how to fix it. It seemed he had a second sense, his hands would reach and tweak a few wires and suddenly Chuck had a working toaster.

Dean was half asleep when the teacher droned on about Catherine’s ghost and Cas just snorted softly. His favorite person was the most adorable, the most beautiful, and the most _Dean_ ever.

When the bell rang Dean gave a quick temple kiss and rushed off to shop and Cas moved on to advanced trig. He fiddled with his blue pen, doodled in the margin, worked on the problems ahead of time and when the bell rang he was nearly finished with his homework.

Third hour meant American history, they were halfway through the Civil War and if Cas was honest he loved it. He loved the way history melded itself together and if he had his way he would become one of those dusty old professors who studied the Crusades or something. He told Dean and his boyfriend just smiled and found a tweed jacket with leather elbow patches and said it was _soo Cas_.

Fourth hour was chemistry with Balthazar and Cas wished his boyfriend was in the class. The reason was not that he wanted to spend more time with Dean, which was true, but that Dean’s grade was five points higher than Cas’s in chemistry, a fact which Dean never failed to mention lovingly to his boyfriend.

Lunch was subs, Cas got extra pickles on the side and made a nice salad for himself. He pulled his trig homework out  and was nearly finished when a tray was set next to him.

“Hey baby, oooh you got me pickles!” Dean grabbed all of the pickles off Cas’s tray and dropped his orange slices on Cas’s plate. He was about to kiss his boyfriend but he saw the little line between Cas’s eyebrows which meant his soul mate was concentrating hard. So he was content to wait.

He munched on his chips and read a bit of _Wuthering Heights_ which he thought was dumb. I mean why would two people who loved each other so much be with other people? He loved Cas as much as Heathcliff loved Catherine and there was no way he was going to go with someone else.

He jumped slightly when Cas slammed his textbook shut with a dreamy grin on his face.

“Finished,” he smiled at his boyfriend, “No homework for me, at least not yet,” Dean finally got to kiss his boyfriend and when they pulled back Cas made a face. “You taste like pickles.” Dean laughed and kissed his boyfriend again.

“Love you,” Cas stuck his tongue out and Dean laughed harder.

“How was shop?”

“Uh-huh you’re only asking because you want to know how your bookshelf is going.”

“Well you offered!”

“Yeah well it’s a good thing I love you when you ask me to build you a _diagonal_ bookshelf.”

“Love you too,” Cas smiled as he munched on his salad.

“You’re gonna ruin my rep with that rabbit food, baby.”

“Well I’m just going to have to make it up to you,” Cas ghosted his hand over his boyfriend’s crotch and Dean jumped.

“Wh-what did you have in mind?” Cas smirked and tilted his head. Dean was on his feet in an instant and grabbing his boyfriend’s bag. Cas slotted his fingers with his boyfriend’s and they walked down a stairway to the basement. They went down three hallways and found a medium sized closet.

Cas pressed Dean into the wall and kissed hard. He sucked on a tongue, his hands went crazy all over his boyfriend and ended on hips playing with the seams of a tee-shirt and jeans. Dean’s skin was so warm and hard and perfect in every way that Cas’s mouth went crazy on his lips. After months, well even years, of learning every centimeter of his boyfriend Cas had gained a confidence that allowed him to lean against the body and press everything into his best friend.

It also gave him the confidence to move a flat hand across Dean’s stomach and pop open the button. They paused the kiss only because the sound of the zipper easing down was so loud they were sure the rest of the school heard it.

Cas slid his wide palm down behind the fabric to cup his boyfriend and Dean fell his head back on the wall. This they were used to, this they had been doing for nearly all summer and then the first three months of school, but Cas’s mouth watered for _more_. More of Dean.

So he pushed the jeans and boxers down enough to free the mostly hard cock. Cas rested his forehead on Dean’s shoulder so he could just look at it. Cas never got tired of looking at Dean, of course the boy was beautiful, but his shaft…that was beyond any words Cas knew.

He rubbed his hand harder and reveled in the way his boyfriend’s chest heaved under him and the hiss that was almost as loud as the zipper.

But it still wasn’t enough.

He sucked on Dean’s neck as his hand moved faster and he felt precum soak his hand. Dean was slowly going insane and he thought he was going to completely lose it when the hand on him left and when his eyes fluttered open…

Cas was licking his hand. He was lapping up the precum and it tasted _amazing_. It was totally Dean and Cas wanted more.

“You still taste like pickles,” he said softly and Dean laughed. Before he could stop his boyfriend Cas was on his knees and sloppily licking his tip. Cas had no finesse to his movements, he was terrible, and slobbery. First he closed his eyes but every time he pulled away Dean’s cock would bob out from his mouth and he would fall forward in his eagerness to fill his mouth. Then he kept his eyes open, but they went crossed as he tried to keep the cock in his line of sight.

He tried to deep throat too early, he swallowed at the wrong time, he got saliva all over his face and when Dean came half squirted out of his mouth while he managed to swallow the other half.

Dean thumbed the white cum at the edge of wet, pink lips and Cas’s beam was made of sunshine. He tucked Dean back in his pants as his boyfriend cupped his face.

“May I?” Cas nodded and Dean was on his knees hugging and kissing like crazy. He was on Cas’s tongue and Cas was about to be on his. Dean lay them out on the floor and was content for a while just to kiss and run his hands over Cas’s chest and hips.

“Do you wanna…?” Cas nodded at the harsh whisper and Dean shimmied down his boyfriend so he could lay his head on a warm thigh as his fingers fumbled with a button and zipper. Cas practically popped out of his boxers and Dean had to laugh. He hummed around the cock and Cas arched up beautifully into him.

“Ohhh Dean,” he dug his hands in the short hair as Dean was no better at blowing his boyfriend than Cas but it didn’t matter. He sucked hard and his mouth was loud and sloppy to the degree that Cas wasn’t going to last long. Dean tried being quiet. He wanted very much to be good for his boyfriend, and getting caught was probably not in their best interest. But he couldn’t help it, Cas tasted so good and he didn’t know how to swallow and suck at the same time so he slobbered, was no better at catching his boyfriend’s cum when he came than Cas, but as they looked at one another in the small room none of it mattered.

“Come here,” Cas gently pulled at his boyfriend’s face until Dean was lying on top and their lips were fused. There was no rush, nothing in the world could get them to move faster even the added tastes of their combined cum.

That was until second bell rang.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” Cas nearly fell over his stupid boyfriend’s stupid tangled legs. His pants fell down because they were still wide open and he nearly tripped. He glared back at Dean who looked at him innocently and he swooped down for a quick kiss. “I can’t be late, I have an econ test.” Dean looked at his watch.

“Sorry babe, but I think you’re late.” Cas looked at the watch and flew out of the room in a flurry of curses and all Dean could do was fall harder in love.

Cas was in fact late but as the teacher was still talking about the test he was able to scrape in with a tardy but still get to take the test.

After that was art which Cas was rubbish at but he got to be with Dean and that made it all worthwhile. The teacher was one of those “as long as you try you’ll get an A” types so Cas threw himself into his stick men and blobby paintings. They were going to start throwing pots next semester and Cas couldn’t wait.

Last hour of the day was Spanish which Cas enjoyed but would enjoy much more if he got to sit next to his boyfriend. The teacher alphabetized them and because Cas was a foster he didn’t have a last name. So he got to watch his boyfriend sit in the back while he had to sit in the front row which was not fun as the teacher spit when she spoke Spanish.

After school Cas had a study group (mostly it was a bunch of seniors wondering how a tenth grader ended up in their trig class) so Dean went to the shop to work on his damn boyfriend’s damn bookshelf. Neither could stop blushing at the thought of their after lunch activities. It got so bad that the students around them thought they were coming down with a fever.

At four thirty Dean, smelling of sawdust, came to the library to pick up his boyfriend and they walked home. It was like any other day.

Except neither could stop smiling.

Every brush of their bodies, whether it was a shoulder or a bump of hips, made them blush. They smiled at one another as if they were in on a deep secret and they practically jumped when Bal, Sam, and Gabe joined them. They were going to play baseball at the local park, celebrate the last few days of fall. Secretly Cas and Dean were separately glad for the distraction. They’d each been terrible at their attempt at oral and each were equally terrified the other wouldn’t want to try again. So they played baseball and forgot their fears for a moment.

When it was six thirty the foster boys went one direction and Sam and Dean another. It wasn’t as if Cas didn’t want or wasn’t welcome at the Winchesters, but now that they were sophomores in high school and more and more homework was being piled on Chuck had enforced a “No Boyfriends/Girlfriends On The Weeknights And Yes That Includes You Castiel I Don’t Care If You’re In Love” rule. So he and Dean kissed one more time and then went their separate ways.

All Cas could think about the rest of the week was what Dean’s cum tasted like. Any time he ate food he would be surprised at the taste, as if he was expecting something else.

School was normal, neither had the courage to bring up what happened at lunch on Tuesday so they filled their time with homework, awkward talk, and having the same conversation over and over again. It got to the point where by Friday they were snapping at one another and everyone was giving them a wide berth.

“Yes I know you said your parents and Sam were gone for the weekend,” Cas snapped at Dean who had brought it up for the _fifth_ time.

“Well I was just making sure you knew,” Dean said sullenly. He was trying to bring up the courage to ask Cas over, maybe they could… but every time he brought it up he lost his nerve so he ended up just annoying his boyfriend to no end by mentioning it over and over.

“And you know Chuck wouldn’t let me stay at your place with your parents gone,” Cas was angry, of course his foster father would say no to being with Dean when there was no parental supervision. So every time Dean brought it up and Cas would think about how they could… he’d get angry because it wasn’t going to happen.

“Did you ask?”

“What?”

“I said did you even ask? Or are you just using that as an excuse to not be around me?”

“Does it matter that I didn’t ask? We both know what the answer is going to be.” Dean narrowed his eyes and left the table in a huff.

This time Cas didn’t mind he wasn’t sitting next to his boyfriend in Spanish.

“Cassie!” Gabriel jogged up to him, “No Dean?” Cas just glared and the small boy backed off. “Guess what? I go an A on my geography test!” The boy babbled on for a while and Cas just spent time tuning him out. “Oh and I have to cook again this weekend, something about failing the first time. But _hello_ sriacha and mac’n cheese are _deliciouoso_.”

When they got home Cas slammed the his bedroom door and banged around in his bedroom. He punched the wall hard and snapped when there was a soft knock on his door. He was pissed as hell at himself for yelling at Dean, for pushing his boyfriend away, for being too nervous around his soul mate. Why couldn’t he just open up and _talk_ to Dean? It was _Dean_ the guy loved him. But then the guy loved him and Cas was terrified that he wasn’t good enough—that blow job was more than enough proof of that—so he was stuck. He punched the wall again and Chuck opened the door.

“Ok, I’ve let you storm around here for nearly an hour, what’s up?” Chuck closed the door and Cas sank on his bed, sulking. “Ok I’m gonna start off, and you’re gonna stop me if I’m wrong.” Cas snorted and Chuck had the grace not to laugh or smile. “So I’m guessing something happened between you and Dean,” Cas blushed, “Something…bedroom related. And let me guess it was awful.” Cas seemed to forget his blush as the words poured out.

“I was _terrible_! When Dean did me it felt so amazing and I thought I was going to explode and he was so good and I was so _bad_ that he will never want me to do it again! And I can’t talk to him because I’m afraid and I can’t lose him but I was just so awful he won’t want me at all.”

“Cas,” Chuck was soothing and put a hand on the panicking boy’s shoulder. “Cas calm down, take a breath.” The Angel watched his young charge do so and continued on soothingly. “First off you’re always terrible the first time,” Cas looked doubtful. “I know you don’t believe me, but the only way you get good is if you don’t give up and, ah, practice.” Cas nodded slightly, too lost in his own worries to become embarrassed at Chuck’s words.

“But he’s not going to want to, I was _terrible_ Chuck.”

“Did he orgasm?” Cas turned a furious red and nodded, unable to look his foster father in the eye. “Then he’s going to want you to do it again. You may think you did bad but if he orgasmed then he liked it.” Chuck patted Cas’s shoulder. “You know,” he said gently, “He probably thinks he was awful too. It’s all so new that he probably is sitting at home thinking you don’t love him anymore because he was bad at…whatever it was you did.”

“But I came!” Cas nearly fainted at the rush of blood to his cheeks.

“So did he, but you still thought you were bad,” the blood drained from Cas’s face and he rose quickly, grabbing his bag.

“Chuck, can I…”

“I’ll see you Sunday,” Chuck smiled, “Remember to call and check in. I hear Gabe has to redo his food unit, you’re smart to save yourself.” He winked and Cas was gone.

The brunet stood in front of the Winchester’s door nervously. He was trembling as he knocked and his nerves set in even more as he waited.

Dean opened the door and just leaned against the frame with his arms crossed.

“I was terrible at it.” Cas whispered, “On Tuesday, I was awful.” He raised a hand to stop Dean trying to interrupt. “I was bad and I don’t know how you were able to orgasm with how awful I was. But,” he looked up hopefully, “I would like to try again.”

“You weren’t bad,” Dean said quietly, “You were amazing and the whole thing was awesome, I’m just sorry I was the bad one.”

“How about we both say we’re terrible and leave it at that?” Cas said wryly with a dry smile. Dean nodded and smiled.

“So’re you staying?” He didn’t wait but tugged at Cas’s backpack straps until his boyfriend was flush with him. “Hey Cas,” he breathed and he brushed at Cas’s dark hair.

“Hello Dean,” they slotted fingers and walked into the empty house.

“Am I the only one who feels weird right now?” Dean rubbed the back of his neck after pausing the video game.

“I don’t think we’ve ever been truly alone.” Cas agreed, he wiggled his legs that were tangled with his boyfriends. They were on the floor with their backs against the couch a half empty pizza box next to them and Halo paused on the tv. “I mean we’ve been at your house alone before, but someone was always about to come home. And now…”

“Now…” Dean agreed. He moved slowly and cupped the back of Cas’s neck. He tilted his best friend’s head so he could kiss softly.

“Dean,” Cas exhaled, they kissed tighter, hands found hair so they could push harder into the kiss. Cas wrapped his hand tight around Dean’s flannel and fisted the fabric hard to pull his boyfriend in. their mouths opened and Cas swore he saw stars when Dean’s tongue was in his mouth. He saw stars every time he kissed Dean and he sank into the sparkle as their kiss heated up.

Somehow they ended up lying on the floor without either really realizing. They were a mess of limbs and Dean pushed the pizza box away so he could roll his body along Cas’s and he moaned softly at the shudder in his mouth. They jumped wildly when someone’s elbow hit a remote and started up the game. Dean distractedly turned the tv and system off much to his boyfriend’s surprise.

“You’ll lose your score.” Cas moaned when a hot mouth suctioned on his neck.

“Mmm, don’t care,” Dean nosed and bit and kissed all over the neck in front of him. Cas wrapped his arms around the wide back and his legs moved against his soul mate’s heavier ones.

“No Dean,” Cas pushed against his meat of a boyfriend and Dean woke slightly, “We promised.” Cas looked down at the hand that was half inside his pants.

“No one’s gonna know,” he tried to sink down but Cas stopped him.

“I will,” Cas sighed when hands moved all over him, consuming him fully. “Hey c’mon,” he nosed Dean, “I wanna be naked,” he whispered and Dean’s eyes were the size of saucers.

“Seriously?” Cas nodded slowly and yelped a laugh when he was pulled instantly to his feet.

“Eager?” he smirked and laughed harder as Dean pushed him to his room. “Hey we should shut off lights, lock up.”

Dean rolled his eyes, groaned loudly and sprinted up the stairs. Cas heard him running through the house checking windows, doors, and clicking off lights. He cleaned up the basement and ran head first into his eager boyfriend on the stairs as he took the leftover pizza to the fridge.

“Calm down,” Cas laughed, “I’m not going anywhere,” Dean wrapped his arms around him from behind and nosed at his ear.

“I guess I never really thought it would happen.”

“S-sex?” Cas was ready to be naked, to have Dean in his mouth again, but he hadn’t come here for sex. Though…

“Scared?” Cas nodded slightly, “Me too,” Dean nosed at him again.

“I’m not ready tonight, but maybe…soon.” Dean nodded.

“Soon,” they both couldn’t help the beam of nervous excitement.

When they got to Dean’s darkened bedroom there was no fear this time. It wasn’t like  when John had caught them and Cas had lost his nerve. He felt confident now, he was with _Dean_ and all would be alright.

So they stood, hips slotted together, mouths pressed in an excited overflowing emotion. They couldn’t settle anywhere and Dean didn’t even whine when his boyfriend pulled away. Cas had had his hands on his best friend’s hips and now his fingers were trailing up Dean’s sides, pulling off his tee-shirt like they do in the movies. It was super hot and sexy Dean even raised his arms above his head and Cas got giddy.

What he forgot was the flannel Dean was still wearing which got bunched and stuck in his armpits.

“Hey it’s ok,” Dean petted the head flung into his shoulder.

“Wanted it to be like the movies,” came a whine and Dean laughed.

“Well it’s never going to be like the movies baby because those are actors and it isn’t real between them.” Cas perked up and pulled back. “You don’t see this in the movies do you?” Dean rolled his shoulders around at the bunched fabric. Cas shook his head, “That’s because this is real.”

“Real,” Cas nodded and slipped off the flannel. He eased the tee-shirt off again and this time it was beautiful and perfect. He ran his fingers all over Dean’s chest and the larger boy sighed.

“Your turn,” Dean spun Cas around and danced his fingers over the black hem of Cas’s tee-shirt. His breath came in hot pants on his neck and he rubbed Cas’s stomach under his shirt. He slipped the shirt off just as his boyfriend had done and Cas turned so he could be skin on skin with his boyfriend. Their arms tangled around the other and soon their mouths were hard to distinguish where one stopped and the other began.

Dean was the first to move his hands down to Cas’s belt. The boy jumped but he eagerly kissed harder as the hands opened the buckle, fumbled with the pants, and soon jeans were pooled at Cas’s feet.

The brunet was a bit better at getting his boyfriend’s pants off, but not by much. Dean kept whispering “Real,” to him and every time he felt better. When he finally was able to push the denim away both of them nearly tripped to get out of fabric tangling their feet. There was a moment when the passion stopped so Dean could sit on the bed and take his socks off, but it amped back up when he pulled Cas in by his boxer band and slid his hands down each leg to take Cas’s socks off as well.

“That was good, you make that up yourself?” Cas smiled as he climbed into the top bunk.

“Nah I got that from a movie,” Dean laughed when he was hit in the face with a pillow.

They got serious when Dean crawled up Cas’s body, kissing every inch of skin he could. Cas kept his fingers raking through Dean’s short hair and when Dean finally made it up his boyfriend’s body both were impossibly hard and panting.

“Are you sure?” Dean breathed and Cas pulled at him so Dean could straddle him. He reached down and slid his hands under Dean’s boxers and slipped them off. Neither watched Dean’s cock bob out, they only kept eye contact as Dean felt the fabric slid down to his knees.

“I’m sure.” Cas whispered. Dean had to shift to get his boxers away from his knees and in a quick, but tender, motion Cas’s boxers were gone and Dean was back, easing his entire body was flush with Cas’s.

“Holy shit,” Dean breathed. Cas could only nod and roll them, hooking his legs with his best friend’s and moaning into his mouth. They rubbed against one another and it was only by sheer force of will Dean didn’t come.

“Can I…?” Cas was on top and looking nervous. “Can I try again?” Dean nodded like mad.

“Could you try going slower? It all feels so good and I wanted to enjoy it, but it was over so quickly…” Cas nodded again and slowly dragged his open mouth and tongue down Dean’s chest. He moved at a snail’s pace and as soon as he got to Dean’s navel the boy sighed. He cupped Cas’s face to get the boy to look up at him.

“I know I said slow, but, uh, you could move a bit faster.” Cas smirked and suddenly he didn’t feel nervous. He wasn’t scared, he had a job to do. And that was to get his boyfriend to completely fall apart.

He held Dean’s eyes as he tongued his boyfriend’s navel. The strong muscles shuddered under him and Cas enjoyed the power. He licked and sucked at hipbones and worked his tongue hard at his boyfriend’s V.

Dean was going insane. His mind couldn’t function, the only thing he’d remember was that he was going to get his _dear_ soul mate back for every moment of torture. He couldn’t stop the loud sigh escape from him when he felt Cas’s tongue at his base. Apparently that was the wrong thing to do as Cas smirked on his skin and moved away. Dean whined loudly and that seemed only to encourage his damn soul mate even more. Cas moved down his thigh and Dean was ready to grab himself and finish off solo.

“Baby, please,” his voice was completely broken and he hardly cared that he was begging like when they were six and he wanted to play soccer instead of baseball. Cas smiled and popped off Dean’s knee and moved back.

“Only because you asked so nicely,” Cas licked the length of Dean’s shaft and reveled in how hot it was. How the veins vibrated on his tongue, how the erection made Dean’s skin so tight and silky smooth, Cas was fascinated by it. The last time he was caught up in just getting it in his mouth, but now he wanted to get his tongue around it slowly so he could memorize it.

Castiel took his time following up and down the shaft and when he got to the red tip it was shiny with precum. He wrapped his lips around the head so he could suck all the delicious white cum down. Dean groaned loudly and fisted up in Cas’s hair. The dude finally got where Dean needed him to be, there was no way the boy was going to let him tease away when Dean wanted to make a noise so bad. Cas it seemed had found his home and hummed in satisfaction. Dean rewarded him by shooting more precum out which Cas tongued at, getting surprised at the full body jump of pleasure from his boyfriend when his tongue was deep in Dean’s slit.

“Oh, when it’s your turn, do that to me.” Cas pulled off to use Dean’s hand to wipe his mouth. Dean nodded, his eyes rolling back when Cas pressed his tongue in again.

 _Ok he could do this_ Cas reminded himself as he wrapped his lips again and took more of Dean into his mouth. He didn’t push himself, but rather took his time until his mouth was full. The tugging at his hair was harder and Dean was arched completely in bliss.

“Oh Cas, oh Cas, oh Cas, ohhhhhh Cas!” Dean praised. Cas nodded to show he heard his boyfriend and that ended up being the right thing to do as Dean yelled loudly and came. Cas nodded harder and sucked more, the orgasm surprised him but he was able to think a little better than last time and Dean’s moans turned into chokes of pure ectasy.

Cas slowed, he didn’t want to let go but the softening cock in his mouth let him know that soon Dean would be too sensitive to his mouth. He eased off kissed the shaft once more and then showered several butterfly kisses all over Dean’s groin.

“Hey,” Dean rasped out, “Hey,” Cas looked up and saw lust blown eyes. Dean’s chest heaved and he was having trouble blinking. “Hey,” he yanked his boyfriend up and rolled him on his back. “Your turn.”

Cas shivered when Dean shimmied down his body, much quicker than the brunet. There was no waiting with Dean, he kissed around Cas’s shaft a few times but he was impatient to get the deep red tip in his mouth. Cas was nothing but praises as his hands massaged Dean’s head and he thought he was going to explode all over again. Dean did this thing, sucking and rolling his tongue around Cas as if everything in his boyfriend’s mouth wanted to keep Cas exactly where he was.

Where Cas spent more time at Dean’s slit, Dean chose to spend more time sucking hard at the entire shaft. He was loud, holy hell he was loud, but Cas loved it. He loved how Dean hummed, and grunted, and moaned around him, sending the sound waves through his entire soul. The feelings were incredible even better than on Tuesday because as impatient Dean was getting to his goal, once there Dean was content to take his time.

He was content to curl his tongue around veins and suction his lips and suck everything of Cas through his shaft.

“Oh Dean!” Cas keened and dug his nails in sandy hair as a hand found his balls. Dean rolled them in his palm and moved down so fast that Cas was down the boy’s throat and Dean had his nose buried in the dark curls at Cas’s base. It was all too much and Cas shot down Dean’s throat, screaming as he came. He babbled praises and adorations until Dean eased him down and popped off.

“That… was… so…” Cas panted, “Much… better.” Dean laughed and climbed up so he could tangle into his boyfriend.

“I love you,” Dean said softly as he ran his fingers on Cas’s stomach.

“I love you,” Cas murmured turning slightly so his head could rest on Dean’s face that was buried in his neck. 

“We should stay naked,” Cas laughed lightly at his boyfriend.

“I’m in agreement, I wouldn’t mind seeing all of you, but won’t it be improper?”

“Oh hell yeah,” Dean was eager, “Just for this weekend, we’ll be naked all over the house. Or at least boxers, just wander around in our underwear.” Cas laughed at his goofball best friend.

“Alright, that sounds good. How often can your family be gone?” Dean’s laugh entered Cas’s body and bounced around in his ribcage making him feel light and purely happy.


	5. Chapter 5

Staying naked was a very good idea. Each boy got to admire his boyfriend’s body, and the lazy kisses and touches whenever they felt like it was fantastic. What else was fantastic was when Dean woke at about midnight on Friday night with the greatest hard on he’d ever experienced.

What probably made it great was that Cas’s mouth was wrapped around it.

With every second Cas was getting better and better and better and better and _ohhhhhhhh_ Dean was shooting down his soul mate’s throat.

“I wanted to practice,” Cas slid up his boyfriend’s body and Dean tried to figure out how to ease his breathing.

“Some practice,” Dean smiled and Cas nosed at his face. Dean’s lazy fingers grazed all over his skin as he pressed himself flush to Dean’s side. He trailed only the tips of his fingers along his favorite back, favorite arms, favorite hips, the curve of his new favorite ass, up a chest that was his favorite to look at, nipples that were his favorite color, and brushed his favorite thing in the world.

“You want me to?” Dean was already kissing down but was stopped when Cas shook his head. He gently pushed Dean on his back and down the bed so the sandy haired boys legs were hanging off the edge of the bunk. Cas placed his knees under Dean’s armpits and looked down. He had to crouch because of the ceiling but the position felt magical.

“If this gets too much you tap out.” He commanded and Dean nodded eagerly. Cas eased in and waited until Dean gave the thumbs up. When it came he started thrusting slowly and he groaned loud enough to shake the walls at the feeling raging through him. He lengthened out his body and grabbed the headboard and was encouraged when greedy fingers grabbed at his hips. Dean moved the hips faster in and out of his mouth and Cas’s head fell between his arms hitting the headboard hard. He continued to thrust and he choked out cries as the perfection consumed him.

He wanted to move faster but he would only go at the pace Dean’s hands guided him at. After a particularly good thrust and Dean’s fingers leaving bruises in his ass he came.

“I guess we found out who’s bottom,” Dean smirked when they’d righted themselves and were cuddled in bed. Cas blushed a violent red and hid his face in Dean’s arm. “What?” He shook his arm slightly but to no avail, “Hey, hey,” he rubbed Cas’s back, “Hey I love you and I will be honored if you’d be my top.”  

Cas refused to come out, and Dean gave him time for a while, but he really wanted to kiss his boyfriend. “Hey, why are you hiding?” he tried again gently and waited for Cas to come out. “Are you—do you not want to have sex?” The head shook violently in his arm. “Ok, are you nervous?” a smaller shake of the head, “Ok we’ll there’s nothing to be nervous about I love you and it may be bad at the beginning but we’ll get amazing. It’ll feel so good baby you make me feel so good and I love you so you don’t have to be nervous.”

“That’s not it!” The head popped up. “I shouldn’t be top! You should be top! I can’t be the one in control! You’re stronger and more manly and being top is the better position, and I’m just—”

“Hey,” Dean circled Cas’s cheeks with his thumbs. “Hey, there’s no shame in being bottom, it doesn’t make me more or less of anything just like you being top doesn’t make you any better than me.”

“But,” Cas hit his forehead on Dean’s bicep and winced. “You want it rough and you can’t from being a bottom… you’re giving all that power—”

“Hey I don’t really know what I want yet but what I do want is to figure it out with you. No hiding in my shoulder, we gotta be able to talk.” Dean kissed his boyfriend, “And for rough…” he hesitated. “I have this feeling, this image, that I really want to be thrown around, I want you to use all your power against me and push me down.” He watched his boyfriend cautiously and saw the deep flush of desire heat Cas’s skin. “Would you want that?” Cas nodded without really realizing it.

“Maybe not right away. I want to know my own strength first.” Dean nodded instantly.

“Of course, baby,” he kissed Cas’s forehead and the boy winced again. Dean pushed brown hair out of the way and his eyes widened at the red welt turning slightly purple. “When did this happen?! Was this Michael?” He started to rage and Cas grabbed him to calm him.

“I hit my head on the headboard! When we were,” Dean groaned and started to move. Cas was too lazy to get up, so he enjoyed seeing his best friend’s naked ass disappearing into the darkened house.

He must have dozed, lost in the pure contentment because he awoke when Dean was by his side and gently laying a bag of ice on his forehead. He sighed and caressed Dean’s face as his soul mate traced nonsense patterns on his chest.

“You’re gonna need a bigger bed if we’re gonna share.” Cas murmured lazily, he was on his back and Dean his side and the twin bed was getting a tight fit for the two of them.

“Are you complaining?” Dean pulled them tighter together.

“Mmm, no,” Cas buried himself in his boyfriend. “You should get a smaller bed then.” Dean laughed and shifted his arm so they were closer. He lifted the icepack gently, looked at the welt, decided something, and softly placed it back down.

“Does it hurt?” Cas shook his head sleepily.

He woke a while later, the ice was gone and Dean was snoring softly on his shoulder. Cas felt a tentative finger on his forehead and there was a smallish bump, but it didn’t hurt as much. He wiggled a little closer and tangled their legs together. Dean snorted in his sleep and rolled so half his body was on Cas and his hips slotted in like a perfect puzzle piece.

It was then Cas truly questioned why the hell clothes were invented.

***

“Shut up I can cook!” Dean objected and Cas just laughed.

“My _darling_ you cannot cook.” Dean made a face and Cas just kissed him.

“Fine, I can’t. But I will.” Dean narrowed his eyes. “I’m gonna take care of you and you like cleaning and shit so I’ll cook.” Cas laughed but Dean only looked determined. “I will.” He went back to the eggs and bacon and found they were cooked and only slightly burnt. Cas ate with relish and Dean stuck out his tongue.

The rest of the day was quiet, Cas had been so distracted with Dean his homework had piled up so he took over the kitchen table like he’d done a thousand times and worked. Dean made sandwiches at lunch, tried to cheat off Cas’s Spanish and laughed when he was swatted away.

“How about I cook dinner?” Cas nodded distractedly and didn’t really notice when his boyfriend disappeared for hours.

He slammed his last textbook shut and finally woke up to his surroundings. Dean always told him he could study through a bombing and Cas claimed that wasn’t true, but then there was that one time when he read through a food fight and only woke when the bell rang and the place was covered in mashed potatoes and barbeque sauce.

Somehow he had ended up in the living room and he knew he wasn’t going to live this down if his boyfriend found out he’d not even noticed switching rooms.

He wandered through the house and found the dining room had candles (the scented ones from the bathroom) and plates set out neatly. He made his way to the kitchen and found Dean stirring something in a pot. Cas came up and kissed his soul mate.

“Hey what are you doing?”

“Cooking,” Dean proudly showed off his mom’s recipe book and pointed. “I went to the store and got everything. And smell,” he took a deep breath, “No burning,” Cas hugged him around the middle and pressed his chest into Dean’s back.

“I didn’t hear you leave.” He said quietly and he could feel Dean’s chuckle.

“Yeah you also didn’t notice when I put you in the living room either.” Cas snorted and rubbed his face in Dean’s back. After a while Dean moved and Cas let him go so he could plate their supper.

“This is good,” Cas smiled, he didn’t want to tell his boyfriend he had over cooked the steaks or that the peas were from a can. He just smiled on and let his happiness show. Maybe it was the fact that Dean tried so hard, or that it was romantic the way he had cooked, or that it spoke of their future. Their shared, domesticated future.

“What?” Dean really wanted to know what was going on in that brain of Cas’s. “I know the food is shit so what are you so damn happy about?”

“I’ll do the cleaning and shit,” Cas beamed and Dean looked confused. “You’ll cook and I’ll clean.” Dean was confused for a moment more and then his eyes widened.

“I’ll cook and you’ll clean!” they were giddy and repeated the five words to one another for the rest of the meal.

“Hey I’ll clean,” Cas stopped his boyfriend as Dean started kissing up his arm. Cas cleared the table and Dean reversed their positions and rested his head on Cas’s neck as the boy washed dishes and hummed softly.

“Movie?” Dean nodded. They settled on the couch and Dean rolled his eyes at the gruesome horror Cas had chosen.

“Oh she’s going to die,” Dean laughed into Cas’s neck.

“Mm-hmm, her boyfriend too.”

“You are a sick sadist,” Dean kissed Cas’s neck as the boy squirmed under him.

“Mm-hmm,” Cas hummed and they watched the rest of the movie.

***

“Dean! Dean! Dean!” Sam was running through the house yelling waking the couple up on the couch. “Dean! I got an excellent on my science experiment! I’m going to state!” He found Cas and Dean but was too excited and ran out of the basement after yelling his good news.

He pounded up the stairs and they could hear him on the phone.

“Gabriel! I got an excellent!” There was a very short pause, “I know! I know! I KNOW!” He was getting more and more excited. Cas and Dean both looked at one another and grinned. They raced up the stairs and found Sam practically jumping on the phone. “I don’t know I’ll ask, MOM!”

Deeper into the house they could hear a faint “Yeah?” from Mary.

“Gabriel wants to know if he can come to the state competition with us in two weeks!”

“We’ll talk to Chuck!”

“She said yes!” Sam yelled into the phone.

“SAMUEL!” the small boy cringed.

“Uh Gabe I gotta go, yeah, yeah,” he looked and saw his older brother and boyfriend. Blushing furiously he mumbled into the phone, “Iloveyoutoo.” He hung up quickly and ran away to his room. Dean looked at Cas, huh.

They found John in the kitchen, the older man smiled wearily and took Cas’s hand when the boy offered it.

“Figured you’d be here, this place is actually clean.”

“Dad!” John grinned and they watched Dean walk out to find his mother.

“So how was it?”

“Castiel let me tell you, I’ve been father to that boy for twelve years. I’ve raised him, I’ve been proud of him, I’ve loved him with all my heart. But this was a whole new level of eye opening. I had no idea how competitive these kids are. It was like going to some NASA thing or Stephen Hawking.”

“Yeah the competition can get pretty difficult.” Cas smiled, he remembered when he competed but he had to drop out since he and Dean had partnered and it was a solo competition.

“That’s understating it by a mile. But Sammy did great, I’m just nervous that at state some kid’ll have invented an antigravity machine and Gabriel will get stuck in there.” Cas laughed hard at the image.

“Sir if that happens maybe it would be better for all of us if Gabe was just _left_ there.” John guffawed until tears were rolling down both their eyes.

“Mom?” Dean had found his mother emptying out their bags and starting to sort laundry.

“Dean,” she hugged him hard, “How was your weekend?” the teen shrugged.

“Fine,” hell it was way more than fine. He and Cas practiced blowing each other all night and through most of the morning. The couple had been lucky that the Impala was so noisy, it had given them time to dress quickly, get out to the couch, and pretend to be asleep. “Hey mom can I ask you something?”

“Sure honey, what do you need?”

“Can you teach me how to cook?”

***

“Hey babe,” Dean dropped his tray on the table. It was Friday Mary, John, Sam, and Gabriel all left early in the morning (seriously Gabe it’s five a.m. it’s not going to kill you) to drive to the capitol for the state competition. Dean and Cas offered to go but Sam blanched and shook his head. Mary and John had gotten a separate room for the boys and there were several reasons as to why Sam did NOT want his brother and boyfriend there. While 90% of the reasons were innocent Sam knew his brother heard what he said to Gabe since Dean had been teasing him for two weeks. So he didn’t want Dean and Cas there because he knew the older boys would make out when if truth be told…he’d rather be the one making out…

“Did you know that there was a Roman Emperor who made his horse a senator?” Cas said looking up from his book.

“What?”

“Yeah, maybe he thought it was a good leader or something.” Dean nodded.

“Ok, well that will be my winning answer on jeopardy. Thanks babe,” he kissed Cas softly and they started eating their spaghetti.

“So I was thinking…” Cas said between bites.

“That the horse would probably make a better senator today than most of the ones we have?” Cas chuckled.

“No, but now I am.” He paused to swallow. “No I think I want to have sex. Tonight.” Dean choked on his food and Cas had to hit him hard in the back.

“Really? That’s how you’re gonna spring this on me?” Dean wheezed and Cas tried to look apologetic, when really he couldn’t stop smirking.

“Yes, I want to have sex. With you. Tonight.”

“I um…” Dean couldn’t finish because four students sat at their table and started talking wildly.

Throughout the rest of the day Dean was expecting to panic. But there was no panic. A calm enveloped him. He and Cas were ready for this. He was going to be good enough and Cas was going to be more than amazing.

“I have to go home first, check in with Chuck.” Cas was apologetic and Dean waved him off.

“That’s fine, I, uh, I have stuff to do so I’ll see you tonight?” Cas nodded serenely and they parted ways after a quick kiss.

When Cas knocked on the door at six both were still completely calm. Dean opened the door and blushed at the flowers Cas held out for him.

“Um, c’mon in,” he stood awkwardly and Cas patted his arm. “These are pretty,” Dean took a deep whiff and watched as Cas toed his sneakers off. “Here, lemme,” he took Cas’s backpack and his eyes went huge when he felt how light it was.

“I only packed boxers,” Cas kissed his best friend softly.

“No homework?” He beamed as his boyfriend shook his head.

“I finished all of it early, there is nothing stopping us from spending the entire time in bed.” Dean shivered but held Cas’s arm before the boy could go downstairs.

“I should put these in water.” He murmured and pulled Cas to the kitchen.

“Holy shit it smells good in here!” Cas looked around for the takeout boxes and Dean laughed. He moved through the kitchen and found a vase, filled it with water and put the flowers in it.

“Can you put these on the table?” Dean asked softly and Cas took the vase. He smiled bashfully at the fancy table setting and went back to the kitchen just as Dean was pulling a dish out of the oven.

“Can I help with anything?” Dean beamed and shook his head.

The food was delicious and Cas moaned at the first bite. Dean had made mashed potatoes, meatloaf, and corn.

“Mom’s been teaching me ever since our last weekend together. I can’t make much but I’m getting better.”

“Better my ass, this is fantastic.” Cas said around his meatloaf. Dean crinkled a smile and laughed as Cas’s knees turned to jelly.

“I can really only make meatloaf but mom said she was going to get me a cookbook and I get to practice on you if you’d like?” He beamed again as Cas nodded violently. “Awesome.”

“Oh my gosh, you can’t test any more recipes, you can only make this for the rest of our lives.” Cas moaned around the chocolate cake and Dean let out a full bodied laugh.

“Well this is good,” he contemplated his fork before he took his bite. “But I was looking at recipes online and I found this one for molten lava cake and I really want to try it.” He looked a little bashfully at his best friend. “You don’t mind that I, um, like this do you?”

“If it means I get to eat food like this then I don’t care what you like.” Cas joked but he stopped smiling when Dean’s face fell ever so slightly. “Hey, there’s nothing wrong with liking cooking,” he hit his boyfriend’s shoulder lightly. “I’m obsessed with vacuums.” He said after some quiet chewing.

“What?”

“I’m obsessed with vacuums. I love them, the sound, shopping for them, researching them. I really like vacuums.” Cas contemplated the last bite of his cake. “Actually anything to do with cleaning,” he squinted. “Yeah, I really like cleaning.” He looked at Dean’s confused face. “How is that different from you liking cooking?”

“Uh, I guess it’s not so bad.”

“Good,” Cas watched Dean finish his cake and when there were two bites left he opened his mouth expectantly. Dean huffed a laugh and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like _high maintenance_ and popped one bite in Cas’s mouth. The brunet chewed happily and any grumbling on Dean’s part was forgotten completely.

“You are an amazing chef.” Cas praised as he got up from the table, he ran a hand through Dean’s hair and collected the plates. “Don’t change one inch of yourself,” he murmured in the perfect shell of ear.

He collected all the dishes and started to clean the kitchen. An odd calm came over him as he saw the pile of dirty dishes recede to nothing. He wiped all the counters, put away any extra food, put the leftovers in tupperwear and then the fridge, looked over the kitchen and saw it passed his standard. He went out to the dining table and wiped down the table around Dean’s textbooks.

“I shouldn’t have spent so much time cooking, but did like you and finished my homework.” He chewed the end of the pencil.

“How much do you have left?” Dean nodded around his pencil.

“Just five more problems.” Cas smiled and moved around the familiar house. He tidied up the living room and even cleaned around the sink in the bathroom.

“You have a problem,” Dean laughed when he found Cas refolding the towels in the hall closet. He wrapped his arms around Cas’s waist and bit lightly on the back of his neck.

“Yes, but wherever we live will be very clean.” Dean laughed and Cas finished his work as his overly affectionate boyfriend nuzzled his neck and rubbed his chest.

“So…”

“So,” both their stomachs did fifteen loops as they stood for a moment. Cas fluttered around the towels a bit longer and Dean held his arms tighter.

“Baby,” he whispered, “I think the towels are good.” Cas nodded his excited anticipation making it hard for him to move.

“I’m nervous,” he whispered.

“Me too,” Dean turned Cas around so they could face one another. “But I guess it’s a _good_ nervous, you know? It’s with _you_ , I physically can’t be nervous when it’s you and I’m in your arms.” Cas smiled and wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck.

“Ditto, but my stomach…”

“Feels like it’s going two hundred on a roller coaster?”

“Yeah,” Cas smiled nervously, he didn’t want Dean to hate him.

“Me too.” Dean kissed his boyfriend softly. “Here’s what I say: we go downstairs, we kiss, we get naked, and whatever happens happens.” He kissed again, “Nothing will happen if we don’t want it. Ok?” Cas nodded.

“I’m not scared to have sex,” he said as they closed windows, turned off lights, locked doors, they connected hands and moved downstairs. “I’m excited, but what if I’m bad?” Dean stopped on the stairs and Cas bumped into him.

“Not even possible.” Dean beamed.

Dean kept the smile on his face and no amount of questioning would get him to fess up.

“Close your eyes.” He said softly. Cas gave him a dry look so Dean went behind him and placed his hands over his stubborn boyfriend’s eyes. “You are so high maintenance.”

“Uh-huh but I’m still taller than you.” Cas teased back.

“Not for long, babe, I’m up for a growth spurt.”

“You’ve been saying that since we were six.”

“Shut up, you’re going to ruin my surprise.”

“Oooh what did you get me?!” Dean chuckled, he pushed Cas through his bedroom door.

“Surprise,” he said softly pulling his hands away.

“Dean,” Cas murmured. The room was filled with hundreds of soft candles and on the floor was a double mattress under Dean’s large blanket they took camping. The boys liked it because it was huge and both of them could fit under it.

“I pulled the mattresses down, and stole candles from all over the house.”

“You didn’t have homework did you?”

“Why would I want to do homework when I can set this up for you?” Cas blushed and pulled Dean in for a passionate kiss. They made strangled noises as Cas started frantically pulling at Dean’s clothes.

“Nervous?”

“I’m never nervous in your arms.” Cas murmured as he pulled Dean’s shirt off. The sandy haired boy looked at him affectionately as he tugged at his boyfriend’s shirt and Cas pulled them down to the mattress.

Dean wrapped his legs around Cas’s waist and legs, they rolled around on the blanket kissing like mad. Cas’s touch was heavy with lust as he traced slowly over Dean’s torso. The kiss was staggered with labored breathing as their lips broke so they could pant. The lust was palpable as their soft noises became louder and unmistakable.

“I love this,” Cas whisper-panted, “I love you. This is so perfect, ahhh—” he threw his head back and moaned loudly when Dean’s hand moved to cup him through his jeans.

“I love you,” Dean whispered as he moved his hand faster and groaned when Cas arched and threw everything into his firm palm. “Baby do you want to come now and sex later?” he slowed his hand because Cas was too far gone and repeated the question.

“N-no, sex now,” Cas panted and moved to Dean’s pants. His boyfriend jumped slightly at the touch and Cas looked at him openly. “We don’t have to,” the honesty in his words made Dean smile.

“I want to, I’m just um a little excited.” Dean looked up sheepishly. “I’m just excited we are doing this, that we’re ready, that you’re going to know me better than any other person on this planet.” He held his boyfriend tighter, “I want you to be the only person to know me like this, Castiel.”

“Me too,” Cas said a bit shakily. “I want you to be the only man on this planet to feel me, to know me.” They kissed again and their hungry bodies tugged and rolled until clothes were gone and they were blissfully naked.

“I’m never gonna stop loving your body,” Dean groaned as he looked up and down Cas’s leanish form. The boy was building muscle, he was six foot and while Dean was still stuck at five ten he felt himself growing. Cas on the other hand was looking more and more like a man. Dean was reverent in his touch as he traced all over his boyfriend’s skin. “Damn,” he mumbled. He looked up into burning blue eyes and his skin scorched an extra fifty degrees. “I’m, um, clean.” He looked up with a deep blush. “I, um, cleaned myself out when you, um, were doing the dishes.”

“Clean, like um…” Cas looked down towards Dean’s ass that lay between his legs.

“Yeah, um, you don’t have to, um, do anything….” But his voice was cut off as he was being roughly pushed. Dean choked on his spit when Cas shoved him into the mattress and mashed his face into the pillows.

Cas moved Dean’s legs so he could kneel between them and just looked. He was content to look for now, seeing the perfectly curving skin from the soft line of spine tracing down Dean’s lower back and curving up to form a perfectly shaped ass. He then traced the lines with his fingers and Dean jumped ever so slightly.

“Relax,” Cas said softly.

“It’s not that,” Dean’s indignation was muffled by the pillow. “I can’t see what you’re doing so I don’t know where you’re going to touch next.” He yelped when a playful hand tickled his foot. “Don’t do that!”

“Just like when we were seven.” Cas chuckled. “Shall I describe to you what I am going to do next?” There was no answer as Dean debated so Cas just went with it and started speaking, making his voice lower because he knew how it affected his soul mate. “I’m going to rub your ass.” He slowly did so and Dean groaned into the pillow. “I can see your hole. It looks like it’s waiting for me. It looks very clean, good job.” He kissed the back of Dean’s head and got smacked for it. So he retaliated by spanking one of the cheeks.

Dean’s entire body shivered and he started grinding on the bed.

“No now we can’t have you finishing early.” Cas chastised, he pulled Dean’s hips up and rubbed the flesh again starting at perfectly muscled thighs. “I’m going to stick my tongue in you now, are you going to jump?” he asked overly innocent and got a mumbled/moaned “Fuck you,” in return.

So that’s how Dean was first rimmed, by a smiling, smirking, little shit.

They both forgot Cas’s superiority when he kissed the puckered skin. He licked all over the silky flesh getting Dean to cry and moan under him. After seven or fifteen (who the hell was counting) long licks Cas pressed just the tip of his tongue in and Dean groaned so loudly the walls shook.

“Oh fuck Cas, don’t stop, please baby, I love you so much, don’t stop.” Cas pushed a little harder and reveled in making his best friend tremble. He alternated between licking fat stripes along Dean’s cleft, darting the tip of his tongue in and out, and adding the occasional bite to the meaty flesh of Dean’s ass.

When he felt the shiny hole relax ever so much Cas became bolder. He pushed more of his tongue in and he had to hold the base of his cock so he wouldn’t blow his load right then and there. He was _inside_ Dean Winchester. He was tasting inside his boyfriend. Not another being on this entire planet would have the opportunity to have this taste on their tongue, to have the silky skin slide across their lips. No one.

And that thought made Cas want to orgasm right there.

“Dean,” he rasped out, Dean turned and he nearly came seeing the pink surrounding Cas’s lips. There was no doubt whatsoever at what Cas had been doing and Dean shuddered. “Lube?” Cas’s voice was low and needy. Dean shifted and grabbed and a bottle was pushed into his hand. “Strawberry?” Cas laughed and Dean had to turn away. Those lips that looked kiss stained were going to drive him insane.

“I didn’t know how I’d, you know, taste so I thought…”

“Dean,” he jumped when a tongue licked him from balls all the way up his cleft, “You taste amazing.”

“Good to know,” he tried to joke but shuddered when the tongue was back inside him. He had to take several deep breaths as it pushed farther and harder into him, but Cas’s soothing hands on his thighs and back and ass helped immensely. This was Cas, the dude would never harm him in any way. So he let himself relax around the tongue, which was fucking awesome, and the greedy noises pulling from his boyfriend.

He jumped when twin fingers came and massaged something slippery all over him and then he relaxed because the tongue was back. Dean made a mental note to tell Cas that next time he had an assignment for his boyfriend. See if he could make Dean come on just that tongue alone. He had no doubt Cas would get an A++++ on that particular grade.

“Dean, are you ready?”

“Yeah,” the tongue backed off a bit and then a finger came and pushed in ever so tentatively. Without even meaning to he pushed his hips back and suddenly the entire finger was in him. They both froze waiting for Dean to adjust and the boy yelled out when Cas shifted his weight on his knees and thereby the finger inside him.

“Oh fuck, Cas, more, more, baby, please more,” he ignored that he sounded like a begging toddler, he needed more.

Cas slowly started moving the one finger in and out and when he felt the silky skin become even more relaxed he added another in slowly. Dean was a mess, barely able to keep himself up and as Cas didn’t seem to be going any faster he snapped his hips back so Cas stopped moving altogether and let his boyfriend do all the work of fucking himself.

He did pause the hips to add another finger and more lube just in case. It seemed like they were moving pretty well but when they had the sex talk six months ago John had said use a lot of lube so Dean was practically dripping when he began riding three fingers. Cas stopped him again and pushed his tongue in. He decided he didn’t mind the taste of the lube, but he was never going to use it in the future. He wanted to taste _Dean_ not something he could buy at a farmers market.

Dean started slowly thrusting back on the three fingers and Cas’s tongue and his body and blood sang in exquisite joy.

“Dean, I think it’s time for sex,” Cas was so lust blown he knew these were his last coherent words. He watched his boyfriend back off his fingers, get up slowly, and turn. He moved forward with a strong purpose when he saw not only all the skin around Cas’s lips were red, but his face was covered with lube. Dean carded through brown hair as he pulled Cas’s mouth roughly on his.

Ok the strawberry lube was a mistake.

But everything else was beyond perfection. He kissed and sucked on Cas’s tongue as he blindly reached for the bottle and poured a more than generous amount on his hand. He found Cas’s cock and slicked him up.

They broke from the kiss to reposition slightly. Cas sat cross legged and Dean knelt around his beautiful boyfriend and they both looked down as Dean took Cas in hand and guided him.

They both hissed when Cas’s cockhead breached the ring of muscle and Cas rubbed all over Dean as the boy eased himself down. It took a while but Dean finally, fully seated himself and all he could do was freeze and adjust. Cas mumbled incoherent words of praise and adoration and love as his fingers massaged all the naked skin he could find. Dean took a few more moments, and then he just wanted to freeze and look at Cas. Hell he could _feel_ Cas. Holy fucking damn shit Cas was _inside_ him.

He brought his hands up and cupped Cas’s face and massaged cheeks while he slowly moved up and down. Cas screwed his eyes shut and moaned loudly feeling beyond words. Dean held his face tighter as he could feel the cock inside him scrape every centimeter and it felt astounding.

Cas rested his hands on Dean’s hips and just held on as he let his boyfriend ride him. They both opened their eyes at one point and any other acts of intimacy made by any other couple were blown out of the water. Dean continued to hold his lover’s face while he raised himself up and brought himself down on perfection.

They stayed quiet and slow for a long time. Longer than both thought they’d last, but as both were virgins their stamina was coming to an end. They were getting close but Dean’s legs were giving out.

“Cas,” he kissed all over his boyfriend’s face and begged. Cas read him perfectly and his hands moved from hips and up the soft curve of spine Cas had so admired earlier and the brunet cradled his boyfriend down. He kissed once, hard and long.

Then he snapped his hips.

Dean screamed.

He moaned loudly over and over as Cas sent his hips flying, he would have time to learn the gentle circles and something called rhythm later. Now he just went on instinct, and that instinct screamed at him to move in and out as fast as possible. Dean wrapped his legs around his best friend’s hips and groaned in time with the thrusts. His cock was trapped between them and Dean knew there wasn’t much left in him.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,” he yelled and at the last second he pulled Cas in for a rough kiss. It was either the hot cum on his stomach or the feel of Dean twitching around him that made Cas come and he snapped his hips faster to milk it out even longer. They kissed and orgasmed and kissed and orgasmed. It felt like a never ending cycle of absolute rightness.

When they settled Cas pulled out gently with a grunt and flopped on his side, tightly spooned into his sweaty, messy boyfriend.

“We should shower,” he panted. They were covered in lube, sweat, and cum.

“In a second,” Dean was equally breathless so he just wrapped an arm around his soul mate and new lover and they settled.

Cas ruined it after fifteen minutes when he started to giggle.

He really got into it and Dean had to raise his tired, sated head to glare at the being who dared ruin their post sex moment.

“What?”

“It’s just, you put these mattresses on the floor and we’re still on the one.” Dean looked over and indeed the blanket was a mess of them on one side and practically perfect on the other.

“Well we’ll just need practice really throwing ourselves around.” Dean wiggled his eyebrows.

“Shit, I was going to try that, I’m sorry.” Cas nestled into Dean’s shoulder.

“Hey I have absolutely no complaints on how that went down.” He felt his boyfriend smile.

“Me either.”

“Come on messy pants, we should get cleaned up.”

“I am not wearing pants,” Cas laughed as he rose with Dean. “Therefore I cannot be a messy pants.”

“Smart ass,” Dean chuckled as Cas turned around to look at his ass.

“I don’t know if I would call it smart, perhaps if it wore glasses?” he giggled as Dean slapped the body part in question and they made their way out to the shower.

“So how do you feel?” Cas massaged soap into Dean’s shoulders. “Are you sore?”

“A little, but it’s a good sore. I think when we really get into it I’ll be sorer.” He turned and kissed, “And that’s exactly what I want Cas. Thank you.” Cas smiled a bit bashfully.

“So you didn’t mind that it was, um, me, um…”

“There’s no one else I want to sleep with.” Dean looked dumbfounded.

“No, um, you’re fine that I fucked you and not the other way around?” Dean’s eyes widened. He pulled Cas under the spray and held him there.

“That was beyond words. And if I’m honest, I’ll do you if you want but after feeling that…I’m not really interested…” he looked a bit shy. “Is that ok?”

“That’s more than ok, I kind of feel the same way. I don’t really want to, I mean if it’s you than that’d be fine…but I guess…”

“I am sticking my tongue in you, _that_ you should feel.” Cas shivered and smiled.

“Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.”

They blew out the candles and Dean pulled away their sex blanket, pulled another one off his bed and they cradled into one another and sank into blissful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so I know there are some of you out there who are dying to know when the boys will present, and I have two (possibly) three more chapters before they do. Thanks for being patient, for reading, and for leaving comments!


	6. Chapter 6

When Dean woke up he was freezing.

They had celebrated his seventeenth birthday late into the night with Cas doing this thing with his tongue and fingers…it was the best birthday present Dean had ever gotten. Dean was too tired to open his eyes so he turned his face and buried his nose in unruly chocolate hair, it had been a good birthday he decided. His parents had taken them out to celebrate and Cas got him a leather cuff which Dean really liked. He’d watched his boyfriend working on it all week in art and he didn’t dream that he would have the honor of owning it. So Dean sank into the happy bubble of seventeen and Cas shifted in his sleep to slot closer to his boyfriend. They really were too big for this bed, Dean decided again. Cas was six foot and Dean was pushing six two, and even curled into one another with their legs mixed together it didn’t stop a good couple inches past the ankles hanging off the bed and Dean still cringed the number of times Cas had fallen off the bunk.

But still, the beds had a lot of memory. He could remember back to when Cas was five and they built a never ending number of forts with blankets and pillows

Or when Cas was seven and changing homes and he was afraid of the dark so he crawled into Dean’s bed.

Or when Cas was nine and they made a fort again so Dean could ice to his bruised face and arms and chest where no one could see.

Or eleven when they shared their fumbled “I love you”s and fumbled kisses in the dark.

Or thirteen and Dean listen to hours of history lessons and fell asleep with his arm around a boy who was reading by flashlight.

Or fifteen when they clumsily touched one another and learned their bodies contours and what the other tasted like.

Or last night when Dean had felt so totally _one_ with this being cradled in his arms.

So as much as Dean wanted to get a bigger bed, he didn’t want to let go of the awesome memories this bed created for them.

It still didn’t answer the question, however, as to why he was freezing and why there were goosebumps starting up his legs and even deflating his morning wood. No, Dean shook off the sleep a little more, his lower half was freezing, his chest and stomach were oddly warm. Like perfectly warm.

And why was it so dark in his room?

Dean could feel the darkness behind his closed eyes which was strange. He felt everything else just fine. The flannel sheets and mattress under him. Cas’s strong arm around his waist, his body pressed so hard into Dean’s side the boy could feel every pulse of breath and twitch his boyfriend made in his sleep. He could hear the soft, heavy breathing of the love of his life in his ear and feel Cas’s warm breath all over his shoulder, neck, and face. But it still didn’t account for why his eyelids felt darker.

So Dean opened his eyes.

That was why it was so dark. Huh.

A gigantic black wing encased them and kept their torsos warm. It gently rose and fell with Cas’s deep breaths and even twitched slightly with the boy’s sleep. Dean couldn’t tell much about them in the dark room, but the feathers were black as night and they reminded him of the time they went camping and it was so dark they couldn’t see their hands in front of their faces. Dean had never seen a coloring that dark, they oozed power and were terrifying.

Dean fucking loved them.

He reached a tentative finger and brushed his knuckle along the arched feathers and Cas shifted in his sleep. A huge sigh made the wings shudder as the brunet tugged himself closer to Dean.

“Mmm, Dean,” a groggy voice pressed itself into Dean’s neck and green eyes were glued to the spot on Cas’s back where the feathers met naked skin.

“Hey baby,” Cas nodded sleepily into his neck and Dean was afraid he was going to go back to sleep. He jumped when a flat tongue licked his skin and started nibbling at the base of his neck. “What are you doing?”

“I believe I promised post birthday morning sex.” Dean shuddered at Cas’s morning voice.

“I think you have other things to think about right now baby.” He brushed a feather with his knuckle again and Cas opened his eyes wide.

“Huh,” Cas flapped his black wings tentatively. He turned back to his beaming boyfriend. “I guess I presented.” He said this as if he was commenting on the weather and he just leaned in and started kissing.

“You guess?” Dean huffed a laugh and pushed Cas away.

“Hey come on, I’m a horny teenager, I _need_ you,” Cas dripped down and sucked, nipped, and all around slobbered all over Dean’s face.

“Too bad,” Dean squirmed away and sat up or sat as much as his six two frame would allow on a top bunk, he settled just for rolling on his side next to his newly presented Angel. Cas just stretched on his stomach like a cat and his wings rustled softly. All Dean could do for a while was just look, he did nothing for so long that Cas fell back to sleep and jerked awake when Dean’s fingers touched the oil glands where his wings met his naked back.

“Dean,” Cas breathed, his feathers leaned into the soft touch and Cas turned his face to smile sleepily at his lover.

“I’ve never seen coloring like this,” Dean said gazing at the wide appendages. He ran his fingers in the feathers and Cas shuddered. “Bad?” His eyes were full of concern and terror.

“N-no,” Cas shook when Dean brushed his feathers, “Ohhh, Dean,” he shuddered again and Dean paid attention this time. It wasn’t shuddering _bad_ , it was shuddering _I can’t believe how good this feels_.

Cas had never paid attention to when others talked about wing play. He was going to end up Demon so what was the point learning how it would feel? He did memorize all the places to touch when Dean presented as Angel, if he was going to keep Dean in spite of being a Demon Cas wanted to learn. It had never entered his mind that he would present as Angel.

But Ohhh Dean’s soft fingers in his feathers felt good. It felt like he could feel all the love Dean had for him through his wings. Like he could feel Dean’s soul, and that wasn’t all. It was like when Dean touched him, stroked him into hardness. His sensitive feathers took on the touches like the tight, hot skin of his throbbing erection.

“Dean,” Cas panted and the touches became rougher, firmer, with more direction. They started up at the downy fluff and traced down the length of his primary and secondary feathers. Cas arched his back and his wings practically petted his boyfriend trying to get more of those fingers in him. The Angel called out when his wings brushed Dean’s naked chest and legs, the skin was just as addicting as his fingers.

He moved his wings with more purpose and soon they were both panting and harder than they’d ever been before. Dean continued to assault the black wings, and Cas was practically rolling to get his feathers hard on his boyfriend’s body.

“Fuck,” Dean muttered as silky feathers traced all of his lines. Suddenly he was on his back and Cas was straddling him. He arched his back into Dean’s fingers and shuddered groaning into Dean’s open mouth.

“Never stop touching me,” Cas panted and planted his tongue hard in Dean’s mouth. Dean nodded into the kiss and instead of carding through his boyfriend’s hair like he was used to, he ran his fingers deep in black feathers and the boy on him trembled. “Oh fuck, Dean,” it was a beg, a pant, a moan, a keen, a call to have Dean continue for the rest of the universe.

Cas’s mind was filled with nothing but how _good_ he felt. Dean’s fingers were like poison, killing him with bliss. He was completely addicted, and when Dean wrapped his legs around Cas’s waist the boy nearly died with how perfect the moment was.

He sucked on some fingers and prepped his lover open as fast as he could, as fast as his body allowed him too. If Dean kept carding through his feathers, adding a tug every now and then, he was going to seize up and his boyfriend would have to do all the work.

As it turned out Cas was able to get Dean open, get himself in and he even managed a few thrusts before his mind came crashing down.

“Dean,” he whispered, apple green eyes snapped onto him and they held tight to one another as Cas rocked into his partner. Dean petted the feathers slowly and Cas leaned down for a kiss to consume them totally. He groaned into their mouths when Dean’s fingers found his oil glands and he came so hard he blacked out.

When he woke Dean had cleaned them up, rested Cas on his back, found the missing comforter that had been thrown to the floor in the night, and curled himself around Cas’s side.

“Do you hate them?” Cas knew he could be honest with Dean because he could say anything to those candy green eyes. Dean didn’t judge at Cas’s nervous tone, he simply leaned in and kissed.

“I love them, they are unique like you,” he kissed softly again.

“But they’re…” _abnormal, wrong, deformed, ugly_.

“Beautiful,” Dean kissed Cas’s sweaty shoulder, “Astounding,” the back of his neck was peppered with a hundred small kisses, “Perfect,” he moved off and rolled so he could kiss his Angel senseless.

“But…” Dean wanted to interrupt, to kiss the awful words out of Cas’s mind. But he knew his lover better than himself, he knew Cas had to get the words out, to speak his mind, and then Dean could set about the task of proving him wrong. “But, they’re so _different_ no one has black wings, what if…” Cas’s eyes widened and he flapped nervously, “What if I’m part _Demon_? What if I’m half and half?” He looked horrified. He grabbed on to Dean’s arms tightly and wrapped his legs around Dean’s muscled ones. “Please don’t leave me,” he cried, he buried his face in Dean’s chest and refused to let go. “Please, I can’t…I can’t live without you, you’ve been my best friend since I was five I can’t…” he sobbed into Dean’s chest as if Dean already had the suitcase in his hand and was walking out the door. “I can’t _breathe_ without you. Please don’t leave me,” he whimpered and Dean’s resolve broke.

He tried pulling his soul mate up, but it seemed now with his new appendages Cas was incredibly strong, even stronger than Dean. If Dean didn’t present soon the only way Cas would do anything physically with Dean was if he allowed it. And right now he was not allowing Dean to pull him away from his freckled chest. So Dean just wrapped as much as he could around his boyfriend and ran a soothing hand through his hair.

“I’m never going to leave you,” he whispered, “You say you can’t breathe without me, well I can’t exist without you. You are the first person I want to tell anything to, and you are the only person I want to hold in my arms. If you weren’t here I would die.” Cas hiccupped into his chest, “And I’m not saying become a shell of a person, or move on and just be sad, I won’t be alive if you leave me.” Cas was silent for a long time as Dean massaged his scalp and rubbed his thumb in circles on his Angel’s back. “I love you so much Castiel, please don’t leave me,” Dean murmured over and over until Cas pulled away from his chest and looked through his wet eyelashes. Somehow they made the blues of his eyes flash brighter and twinkle like gems.

“I love you,” Dean repeated, “Please, you can’t leave me, I love you so much,” Cas nodded and they sank into chaste kisses for a long time.

“Ok, it’s time.” Dean whispered and Cas paled. Dean got down from the top bunk, hitting his head and shin, yeah this thing needed to go, and stared at the wing hanging off the top bunk.

“Can’t we stay up here?”

“Caaas, come on you have to come out,” Dean pulled at his boyfriend’s leg. “You can’t stay in here all day.” He tried to bring his lover down, but Cas just flapped his wings nervously and burrowed into the blankets deeper.

“No,” it was muffled but it was there.

“Are you seriously going to pout up there because you’re scared of my family?” Dean put his hands on his hips not that his idiot of an Angel could see.

“Yes,” again muffled.

“Ok,” Cas popped up a bit at that, “Ok, Castiel you win, I’m not gonna try and get you out of bed.” Dean turned to put on boxers, sweats, and a shirt. “But I’m not going to join you either,” before Cas could say anything Dean was out the door and had it closed swiftly behind him.

“Dean! We thought you were sick, you’ve never stayed in bed so long.” Mary chastised and looked with question at her oldest son. Dean looked vainly around the kitchen for food, but seeing none he reached into the fruit bowl for an apple.

“Nope,” he said with his mouth full. Mary sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on? And where is Castiel?” Dean just shrugged, he jumped up and sat on the counter, much to Mary’s chagrin. “Am I going to get a straight answer out of you Dean?”

“It’s Cas’s decision if he wants to tell.” Mary rolled her eyes and tugged her son off the counter. When Dean protested she smacked him on the back of the head.

“I have to prepare food there and if you’re going to stick your butt on the counter that means I have to wash it again. And since you are no longer a baby and I am not in charge of keeping that butt clean I don’t want it near the food.” Dean laughed loudly.

“Cas knows how to keep my butt clean, you can ask him.” Mary smacked him hard on the shoulder.

“Just because we know you are having sex, and that it may be happening under our roof, there is no reason for you to speak nasty.” Dean still laughed but calmed when he saw the glare set in his mother’s eyes.

“Sorry,” he muttered sincerely. “Where’re Dad and Sammy?”

“At the soccer field, Sam said he couldn’t wait for you to lazy bones to get out of bed so he left dragging your dad along.” Dean sighed.

“Damn, I forgot we were going to take him.” Mary nodded but she was waiting. “I’ll make it up to him,” Dean said glancing over, “Can we take him to the movies tonight?” Dean knew Cas would be out of his bed in a few hours and Sam would be over the moon that his cool high school brother and Angel were taking him to the movies. He’d be even happier if they took Gabe with them too.

“Sure, just remember nothing scary this time,” Mary was hesitant, “So where is Castiel?” The teasing was gone from both of them.

“He’s—he’s deciding something.” Dean said finally, “It’s for him to make the first move, I’m not going to do it for him.”

“Did you two…fight?” It wasn’t unusual, they’d heard some loud brawls, shouting matches that left both angry and Cas gone for days. But it was normal couple behavior.

“No, mom…” Dean dragged, he hated that Mary was so into his business, he was _seventeen_ for crying out loud, but then he would remember Cas’s parental contributions were down to a cardboard box and he would secretly love his mother all over again. “Cas just…” he ran a hand through his hair, “Cas needs to do this for himself. I’m sorry I can’t say any more than that.” Mary opened her mouth and Dean looked at her pleading, “ _Please_ mom, I won’t say any more.” Mary nodded and returned to cleaning the kitchen.

They waited on the edge of something for hours. The kitchen was spotless so Mary moved on to the living room, then she cleaned the bathrooms. Dean sat on the couch finishing a book. He knew his boyfriend would come out, he knew that Cas just needed to think through some things. He also knew that if he went or stayed in bed with him Cas would never leave. He would sink further into the pit he was creating for himself. Dean had been in this too long to know how his boyfriend acted. Once Cas took the first step he would open up and realize he was acting like an idiot and believe whatever Dean was telling him. So Dean gave him the space and read a book.

Mary knew none of this, however. She wanted to throttle Dean, get him to tell her everything about her third son. But the way Dean had begged…he was close to tears and it had been a very long time, at least a dozen years since her oldest had allowed his mother to see him cry. So Mary would edge to the top of the stairs, but her son would call her back.

Cas came shyly up three hours later wrapped tightly in Dean’s sheet. Dean gave him a look from the couch and Cas sighed, dropped the sheet and let his wings rustle out. Mary, who had her head in the oven heard the rustling and called out of the small room.

“Honey is that you? How did Sam’s game go?” She pulled herself out of the oven holding her hands up like a surgeon, the yellow gloves glistening, “Listen the boys are up to something, don’t go downst—” she stopped in the doorway and her mouth hung open at a shirtless and very nervous Castiel. His wings were even more impressive, but his torso still looked small as his muscles were still evening and broadening.

“Castiel…” she breathed and in an instant her arms were around him, disgusting oven grime dripping down his back, “My beautiful boy,” she murmured and stroked his hair.

“So they aren’t...” Cas’s breath caught. Mary pulled away to look at him.

“Aren’t what, sweetheart?”

“Ugly?” Cas breathed, Mary’s face crumpled.

“Oh darling, no! They are unusual, but they are,” she took in the black feathers. In the light there was a faint iridescent blue tinge to them. “They are _you_.” Mary beamed and Cas gave a small smile.

Cas moved to the couch and tried to figure out how to sit. He tried to mimic what he saw Chuck and Mary and John do but all he achieved was bent wings and a smug boyfriend.

“Just you wait,” he hissed at Dean which only made the idiot laugh harder.

“You’ll get used to them,” Mary said helping the poor boy out. “There’ll be a lot of things knocked over but you’ll get the feel for them. Oh and don’t hold them so tight,” she showed him with her wings. Cas had been unconsciously keeping his wings as close to his body as possible, like tensing his muscles. “They’ll hurt after a while and it takes a long time to get them to relax.” Cas nodded and he tried to push his wings back so they weren’t so tight against his back.

Dean reached up and stroked the feathers right at the base of Cas’s wings and without even realizing it the fledgling sank into the couch. He relaxed into Dean’s hand and hummed quietly, his feathers leaning towards his boyfriend, as if they all wanted his touch too.

“Dean…” Mary breathed. The couple’s heads snapped up and again Mary’s mouth was open.

“What? Are we not supposed to…is it not proper to touch in public…?” Was this like sex? Cas wondered? Was the touching of wings and grooming just not PC?

“No, it’s just…I wasn’t expecting you to bond so quickly…” Cas and Dean shared a confused look.

“Bond?” Mary nodded.

“It happens with soul mates, I knew it would happen to you two, but bonding…you both have to be assigned for the bond to take place…but I suppose with a romance starting at five you two are anything but ordinary.”

“Mom!” Dean dragged, “We were older than five!”

“Oh really?” Mary got a wicked glint in her eye, “I seem to remember a little five year old telling me he was going to marry a certain Castiel while I was tucking him in after his first sleepover.” Cas turned to Dean and saw his favorite color of blush.

“You told your mom you were going to _marry_ me?” Dean stuck his tongue out, but it did nothing to hide the red in his cheeks that now crept down to his neck.

“Yeah,” he said quietly.

“Do you still want to?” Dean looked up sharply.

“What?!”

“Do you,” Cas arched his back into his boyfriend’s hand, “Still want to?” Neither noticed when Mary walked away quietly to give the couple their space.

“Really? You would want to get married?” Dean was incredulous. Cas turned and gave him a dry look.

“Dean Winchester I’ve loved you since I was six and I’ve dated you since I was eleven, of course we are going to get married.” He arched again, harder into Dean’s palm. “Satisfied?”

“Yes,” Dean leaned up and breathed in his best friend’s ear. “Yes Castiel, even though you didn’t ask me, I will marry you.”

“I asked!” Cas squawked.

“Saying do you still want to, is not a proposal dear fiancé of mine,” Dean rubbed his nose into Cas’s. Cas sighed loudly and dramatically, he swooped down and rested on one knee his wings moving awkwardly behind him.

“Dean Winchester, love of my life, my soul mate, will you marry me?”

“Only because you asked me so nicely,” Dean pressed his lips to Cas’s palm, “Yes I will marry you. I still can’t believe we’re gonna do this.” Cas rose slightly and pushed their foreheads together.

“Dean we’ve known one another for twelve years and for six of those years we’ve been together, how could you not think we would end up married?”

“Afraid to,” Dean felt comfort as Cas’s wings came around them, shielding them from the outside world.  “I was afraid to be this happy, I was afraid it may not be what you want and I didn’t want to bring it up in case you’d leave.” Cas huffed a smile.

“Me too,” he whispered, “I thought I would be Demon and I didn’t want to burden you with that.” Dean nodded slightly, he’d known his best friend’s deepest fear for a long time.

“You know I’da stayed.” Cas pulled back slightly, his wings still cushioning them together, “You could be a Level Ten Demon and I’da loved you and married you.” Cas nodded.

“I know, but we don’t have to worry about that now.”

“Yeah,” Dean whispered, “Well we should go and tell Chuck.” He ran his fingers through Cas’s wings a few more times and the boy shuddered.

“You’re gonna kill me one day, you know?”

“How does it feel?” Dean tilted his head to the side, a habit he didn’t even realize he picked up from his boyfriend.

“It’s…” Cas sighed as the fingers combed his wings gently. “It’s like I can feel your love as a physical thing. It’s like I can feel you soul, and ohhhh,” he dragged when the fingers dug deeply in the downy fluff at the top of his muscles. “It’s like when you touch my wings it’s an extension of myself. And that extension is hardwired to pleasure.” He arched into Dean’s hand.

“It feels that good?” Dean wondered, his eyes wide.

“Better, you’ll understand when you get your wings,” Cas kissed Dean’s cheek. “I better go see Chuck…” Dean grabbed his hands.

“Can I come? I wanna see Gabriel’s face.” Cas nodded shyly. “Mom, we’re gonna go to Chuck’s!”

“Wait!” Mary came out with a shirt in her hands. It was a sky blue, one that would set off Cas’s eyes perfectly. “I got this a while ago, I just thought of you…” she said shyly and handed it over to Cas. It was a short sleeve shirt, in the style all Angels wore. It was like a reverse button up and Mary showed Cas how fix it at his hips and neck so from the front it looked like a normal tee-shirt, and in the back a large hole allowed his wings to move freely. It was an article of clothing Cas had longed for, been envious of his fellow students and now he had one too.

“Thank you,” he breathed and crushed Mary in a tight hug.

“Go on, I’m sure Chuck will be excited,” she looked over Cas’s shoulder to Dean, “Sam will be back around four so be sure you boys will be here to pick him up.” Dean groaned but nodded.

“We’re taking Sam to the movies because we missed his game today.” Cas nodded and smiled at Mary.

“I promise nothing scary.” Dean huffed and groaned and went down to the basement and his bedroom to get jeans. “I wonder what his wings will look like.” Cas said softly.

“Probably brown or sandy like his hair, though green would look good with his eyes.” Mary said and Cas jumped, he didn’t think she’d heard. “You’ll need to be taken down to the Assignment offices on Monday, let me know if Chuck can’t drive you I’m sure John or I will be able to.” Cas nodded feeling a pit swallowing his insides.

After a teen presented no matter if they were Angel or Demon they had to report themselves for Assignment. It took two days of heavy testing, no one ever remembered really what the fledgling was tested on, but after the two days they came out blinking and sporting a black tattoo on their left wrist of their number. All anyone really knew was that you walked in and two days later you walk out with a number. Cas’s wings flapped nervously at the thought.

“Castiel, you’ll be fine,” she rubbed his shoulder. Cas nodded and moved away taking Dean’s hand and walking out of the house. Mary loaned him an old jacket of John’s, a beaten up leather jacket she’d forgotten he bought to keep out the cold of January.

“Ok, come on,” Dean grinned stepping in front of his boyfriend kissing lightly. “Show me,” he whispered. Cas’s face split in a grin and he pushed his wings all the way out. They rose above his head and stretched away to a nearly eleven foot wingspan.

“Holy shit,” Dean breathed and Cas blushed, his boyfriend was looking at him in awe his mouth slack as he took him in. The black wings oozed power and in the blue shirt, leather jacket, and jeans Cas looked like some kind of teenage warrior, an Angel capable of smiting and kicking ass. Although Cas would have to master a squint or some kind of anger, right now he was looking with nervous anticipation and his shy face didn’t seem at all threatening.

“Remind me never to piss you off,” Dean said softly, “But we’re gonna have to work on your look.”

“What?”

“Well if your wings are gonna look dangerous as fuck you have to have a face that matches. Right now it’s like an alligator with a kitten face or something.” Cas rolled his eyes and glared at his boyfriend, “There! You almost have it!”

“Come on,” Cas pulled his wings back in slightly and pulled his lover along. “I wanna go show Chuck and the others.”

“Chuck?” Cas called when they got to his house. As an author the Angel worked from home, but there was no telling if he was there. Most weekend days he was chasing Gabriel from something.

“Hey Cassie, woah!” Bal and Michael both stopped in their tracks taking in their newly presented foster brother. Before he could stop them Michael reached out and touched his feathers and the pain was intense. Cas hissed put up a hand and Michael flew backwards without being touched.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Cas cried as the boy grunted from the floor. He was able to sit up and wave that he was ok with Bal by his side but the damage was done. Cas’s wings flapped in terror and he sank to the ground holding his knees to his chest. He rocked back and forth and a mirror shattered down the hall. Doors opened and slammed and the glass in the windows rattled threatening to break.

“Cas,” Dean didn’t yell, he whispered and dropped behind his lover and ran his fingers through the black feathers. “Baby calm down, it was an accident.” He stroked and whispered and everything started to die down.

“What happened?” Chuck was calling from the door and running into the room. He saw the new appendages on Cas’s back and Dean rocking with him from behind. His face softened and he ushered the other two boys out to give the couple space. No one was going to be able to calm Cas down except his bonded mate and he would only become more agitated if others were watching.

“Baby,” Dean brushed his fingers in Cas’s wings kissing the skin between his flapping wings. He straightened and buried his nose in Cas’s hair. “Baby,” he sighed, “Come back to me,” Cas slowed his rocking and his hands left his ears.

“Did I hurt him?” Cas whispered and Dean shook his head still buried in chocolate hair.

“No, he’s fine.”

“It _hurt_ so bad. When he touched me, I didn’t expect it to be pleasant like when you touch me, but it burned and it felt like my soul was ripping apart. Is that normal?” His terrified blue eyes looked in lost green ones.

“I don’t know,” Dean said. They sank in silence with Dean pressed in Cas’s back and his fingers running through black feathers. Cas stopped rocking but he couldn’t stop trembling.

“Cas?” Chuck looked at Dean who nodded slightly. “Castiel?” The boy’s head popped up terror still in his eyes.

“Don’t come near me,” he hissed.

“Hey, ok,” Chuck held his hands up and kept his distance, “You can talk, talking is ok right?” Cas nodded mainly because Dean’s hand was massaging the new muscles jumping out of his back and his fingers were making small circles in his downy feathers.

“I don’t know what happened, he touched me and it hurt so bad and my head just said ‘get away’.” Chuck nodded and hid his thoughts from his face.

“That’s completely normal. Castiel, it’s normal,” Cas didn’t look like he didn’t believe him but he’d never seen Chuck so serious. “When I first presented I set my dad’s car on fire.” Chuck smiled slightly. “He was able to put it out, but there were a lot of accidents.”

“But you didn’t hurt anyone,” Cas moaned hiding his face in his knees.

“It was instinct Castiel, it is going to take a long time for you to not react without thinking. Once your wings take over it will be hard for you to control yourself for a while.” Cas nodded a bit more his face still hidden. “You were in pain and you reacted, it is completely normal and Michael is fine so no harm done.” Cas pulled himself up and smiled weakly.

“No harm done,” he said softly and was rewarded by firm brushes to his primary feathers and Dean’s warm mouth kissing his neck. “I’m better,” he said after a while. “Thank you Chuck, I should apologize to Michael.” He rose stiffly and walked back to the other boy’s room.

“Chuck,” the foster Angel looked over at him, “Cas he, uh, he wouldn’t have, uh, attacked anyone without…” Dean didn’t know how to say what he was thinking. “I mean what if Michael…he wouldn’t have done it without being really provoked.”

“I know, Dean,” Chuck said softly, his eyes seemed to show he knew exactly what Dean was trying to say. “Sometimes our instinct will just react to someone that we feel is threatening us. If Cas felt he was in danger then his powers would come up without him being aware of it.” Dean nodded, but neither of them voiced what they both were thinking.

What threat was Michael to Castiel?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I lied, I was going to add a two part chapter with Dean's birthday, but it wasn't meshing so I just wrote this instead. I hope you liked it and a super big thanks to all the readers and reviewers out there!


	7. Chapter 7

“Hey, you’re going to get a fifteen and I’ll be in awe of you all over again,” Dean nosed at Cas’s face as he pushed the fledgling up the stairs.

“Dean, you can't get a fifteen." Cas paused and his wings fluttered nervously. "What if I get a One?”

“Then I’ll love you.” Dean smiled as black feathers ruffled in indignation. Cas wanted to be taken seriously and his dumb ass boyfriend was just smiling and saying he loved him.

“But what if I fail?”

“I doubt you can fail, but I’ll still love you.”

“What if I get a Ten?”

“Then I wouldn’t be surprised, and I’ll still love you.” Cas glared at him dryly and Dean finally gave up. He wrapped his arms around Cas’s waist and buried his face in black down. He felt his Angel relax all over and Dean was patient enough and just lightly touched all over the dark feathers earning sighs all over. “Baby you’re going to be fine,” Dean whispered and nosed at his best friend’s face. Cas looked nervously at the large white building. Everyone knew what it was and everyone knew why a fledgling would be entering its doors.

“What if—”

“Castiel, we’ve been through this, there’s no what if’s. I don’t care if you come out with a one or a zero tattooed on your wrist I’m gonna be here.” Dean pressed his forehead in to Cas’s. “I love you, now go get your assignment.” He smacked Cas on the ass and pushed him forward. “I’ll be here waiting,” he assured when Cas looked back with terrified eyes.

He stared only at the smiling green eyes as he walked through the doors and only turned around when they closed seamlessly behind him. The image of Dean beaming with his hands in his pockets gave the Angel the courage to walk in and smile nervously at the woman behind the desk.

“Castiel,” she looked at her charts, “We have you right here why don’t you take a seat and you’ll be called in just a bit.” Cas nodded and settled himself, proud that he’d practiced so many times over the weekend when he hardly tottered and his wings settled neatly behind him.

“Castiel?” a silver haired man with grey wings came through a door holding a clipboard. Cas stood quickly and the man smiled at him. “There’s no reason to be nervous, you already got through the hard part, now we just have to run some tests to see where you’re at.” Cas nodded and followed back to an impersonal, white exam room.

He sat in the chair the man gestured to and his ease started coming back when the man set a glass of water gently down in front of him.

“Why don’t you have a drink? It’s going to be a long two days.”

***

Cas stood blinking, dumbfounded. Dean was running up the steps to him, but didn’t he just get dropped off? Why would Dean be running to him with a smile on his face when Cas had to turn around and go into the facility? And how did Dean get so far away when they were just walking up the street and holding hands a second ago? And how did Dean change his clothes so fast?

A headache was forming behind his eyes and the world looked altogether too bright as he squinted up at the sky.

“Baby,” Dean held him tightly and Cas just reacted out of instinct and hugged back. His confusion stayed firmly put in his mind, but hugging Dean was _good_ it was something he could do, as befuddled as his brain was. “How did it go?” Dean pulled back and examined his Angel. He looked curiously at the white bandage on Cas’s wrist but the confusion on his boyfriend’s face was kind of adorable and it distracted him. Cas blinked hard. He tilted his head.

“I haven’t,” he paused the word was right there, why couldn’t he say it? “I haven’t…” he strained himself and forced the words out, “Gone in yet.”

“Yeah Cas, you went in on Monday morning and now it’s Wednesday morning.” Cas frowned harder, his brain  was nothing but fuzz and he blinked to try and clear it. But thinking hurt so he just nodded and allowed himself to be led by his boyfriend. He swiped at something behind his ear and his headache worsened when he found nothing there.

“So I’m guessing you don’t remember anything.” Dean said, breaking through his headache, a headache that was annoyingly deepening to migraine territory. Cas nodded through gritted teeth.

“Dean, get me home.” Dean looked at his white-faced boyfriend. He’d been so overjoyed and curious at Cas’s return that he’d not noticed the paleness in Cas’s features or the pain skittering across his face.

“My place is closer, is that ok?” He lowered his voice, afraid that anything might set his Angel off. Cas waved the question away as insignificant and by the time they reached Dean’s he was leaning heavily on his boyfriend and swatting at his ear constantly.

“I’m gonna—” Cas ran down the stairs and Dean could hear him heaving in the bathroom. Dean had to fight every instinct in his body when everything screamed to run to his soul mate. Instead he picked up the phone and called his dad at the garage.

“Dad?” Dean had to slightly yell into the phone when John picked up, the loud sounds of the garage were muffled when he heard his father shift into an office.

“Yeah, son, did you pick up Cas?”

“Yeah,” Dean wanted to throw the phone away when he heard Cas throw up again. “Dad, he’s sick, like really sick. He came out and didn’t know what day it was, he kept insisting he hadn’t gone in. Then he turned all pale and he could barely walk. He’s downstairs throwing up—” Dean was panicking and John had to almost yell into the phone to get his son to calm down.

“Dean! It’s ok, it happens. No one remembers what goes on in there and sometimes people can get sick.” Dean took a calming breath.

“Lucifer and Balthazar and Michael didn’t get sick,” he said. Cas’s older foster brothers had presented months ago and Dean hadn’t remembered Cas saying them coming home like this. He heard Cas wretch again and he couldn’t hold back any longer.

“Is there anything I can do dad?”

“Just take care of him, everyone has different reactions. He’ll be fine soon, I’ll call the school and excuse you both, and I’ll call Chuck.” Dean thanked him and didn’t even say goodbye as he raced down the stairs to Cas.

The boy was bent over the toilet throwing up almost constantly. Dean did the best he could by soothing and rubbing circles on Cas’s back between trembling wings. He brushed the black feathers and Cas relaxed a bit more where he could sit up between vomiting.

Dean had thought the worst was listening to Cas being sick, but he was wrong. The absolute worse was having to force Cas to drink water when he’d vomited everything out.

“Baby, please, just a little,” Dean begged when Cas started throwing up blood. The Angel sipped the water and then in a matter of minutes threw it up. It was a process that lasted three hours, Dean would force water down Cas’s throat only to have it in the toilet minutes later. But after hour three when Cas had taken five sips and kept it down it seemed like the worst was over.

After another hour of just stroking Cas’s sweaty back on the bathroom floor it seemed like Cas was going to be able to sleep. Dean cradled him in his arms and brought him into his bedroom, he had been excited to show off the new bed he and John had gotten, the bunk bed had been great and _fun_ but now that Cas had wings it was going to be hard to fit them in a twin bed. So Monday night John took Dean out and they found a queen bed and Dean had barely slept in it the last two nights, just thinking about how it would feel with Cas. They’d have enough room to roll around, but also they could sit up and not bang their heads on the top bunk or the ceiling.

But now none of that was even considered, Dean really didn’t even notice the new bed as he just lay Castiel down. He gently took off his boyfriend’s jeans and unbuttoned his new shirt to pull it off. Cas shivered, the clammy sweat he was covered with from being sick had refused to leave, Dean knew he didn’t have any Angel shirts since Cas’s change was so recent so all he could do was wrap the Angel tight in warm, thick blankets.

“Do you want me to stay?” He whispered and Cas’s hand held his wrist weakly. “Ok, I’ll stay, but I’ll be right back.” As he’d been tucking his boyfriend in Dean heard his mother shifting around and he wanted to go and talk to her.

“Mom?” She looked up, still in her work scrubs.

“How is he? Dad called so I thought I’d come here on my break,” She looked concerned, but to Dean’s relief not overly worried.

“He’s fine, he stopped throwing up about an hour ago and now he’s asleep.” Dean ran a tired hand through his hair. It was only noon and he felt exhausted. Mary rubbed his arm and smiled at him.

“You took care of him.” Dean smiled tiredly. “Can I do anything?”

“Um what kind of food should I give him? I mean I don’t know when he should start eating, but he’s got nothing but water in him now.” Mary nodded.

“Clear stuff is good, I bought some Gatorade and broth you just have to heat it up. He’s going to be very weak,” Dean nodded and set his shoulders. Mary ran a hand through his hair and he looked at her surprised to see slight tears in her eyes. “I knew you were growing up but I’m not ready for you to be such a man quite yet.” She brushed the tears away and told Dean how to make the broth.

“Call me with whatever, don’t worry about school Sam can collect your homework and Dad said Chuck is fine with Castiel staying here until he feels better.” Dean nodded again and took one of the Gatorades down to his boyfriend. Cas wouldn’t be able to drink anything for a while, but Dean wanted it there just in case.

***

After two days Cas was finally feeling well enough to eat solid food. He relapsed very early on Thursday morning, but Dean was there the entire time and he only threw up twice. He was incredibly weak and didn’t leave Dean’s bed until midday on Sunday. And Dean never left his side.

By Friday Cas could stay awake for hours so they did nothing but lie in bed and Dean would read out loud or talk or anything his boyfriend wanted and Cas felt a lightness in his soul. The fear of whatever had taken place at the facility was fading and now he was better because of Dean.

Neither Dean nor Cas touched the bandage on his left wrist. Dean knew it was Cas’s decision and as much as it was killing him to see the number, he forced himself to wait. Cas took it off late Saturday night, he’d been able to sit at the dining table with the Winchesters, and though he couldn’t eat the pizza they were having he contented himself with his toast and he enjoyed that none of the Winchesters asked what was under the bandage.

When the white strips finally came off Dean and Cas were both bug eyed for a bit.

“I’m shocked,” Cas whispered trying to joke.

“I’m not,” Dean kissed his boyfriend and then brought the number up to his lips. The black _9_ got several kisses as Cas stared on in wide eyed astonishment

“But,” Dean let Cas work through his muddled mind, since Wednesday Cas had had a hard time forming thoughts and words. His deepest thoughts and longest sentences had been to tell Dean when he was full and when he was hungry. He’d become almost scholarly when he’d asked earlier for help with a shower and was able to tell Dean the water was too hot. “But I’m not…I’ve never really… been… that strong…” he struggled, the words were sluggish in his mind.  “I’m not worthy… of such a… high number…” Dean kissed the lines between his eyebrows and smiled.

“You are.” He kissed softly again. “You are, Cas, you are good and powerful and strong as fuck so don’t doubt yourself. Besides when I present you need a high number to, ah, _dominate_ me,” they both blushed at their newfound sexual preferences. Dean liked to fight hard against bindings and Cas really liked to be the one tying his struggling boyfriend up. “So are you good?” Dean looked deeply in his best friend’s blue eyes. Cas nodded softly breaking their gaze to look at his wrist.

“Yes,” he traced the 9, “Yes, if you’re here… then I’m good.”

“I’ll never leave,” Dean breathed and Cas beamed.

***

Three months passed and everyone seemed to be waiting with held breath for Dean to present. After three weeks Cas was finally back to his old self, it had taken a long time for him to be able to stomach anything heavier than toast. Though it seemed his mind was still healing after all these months. His teachers gave him extra time on assignments because he was still having problems mentally. His A’s were slipping to C’s which soon slipped to D’s and no one was more frustrated than Cas.

The words still were hard for him to put down, he could easily think them but for some reason he couldn’t get them out of his mouth or on paper without lots of pauses. It seemed Dean was the only one who understood instantly what Cas was trying to say even after one or two words.

After another month Dean still hadn’t presented, but Cas’s words came quicker and his C’s were now low B’s. Even though he was getting better on paper, Cas’s words still came out jumbled and awkward when he talked. He could get three or four words in and then he would shut down and it would take a great deal of patience from whoever was listening to continue the conversation. He’d also started to stutter badly when he was nervous or he felt like he was being judged. Which meant he stuttered almost constantly with anyone who wasn’t Dean, a Winchester, Gabriel or Chuck.

“Dean,” Dean’s head popped up from the study table at the school library.

“Hey Jo,” Dean smiled easily at his friend. “What’s wrong?” he rose from the table when Jo refused to look in his eye and she worried a fingernail.

“It’s Cas, Dean you have to come, he made me swear not to tell you but it’s gone too far.” Dean grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the library.

“Were?” Jo looked frightened. “Where Jo?” Dean growled looking furious.

“The bleachers,” she whispered and Dean was gone.

There was a wet smacking sound that echoed on the concrete and Dean ran faster and harder to get there. He couldn’t see Cas except for the poking of a black wing as three large Angels took turns hitting him across the face.

“Must have made a mistake, this dude can’t be a _Nine_.” One of the meatheads cackled.

“Can’t even keep his fists up,” another taunted, “I thought you were supposed to be strong, _Nine_.”

“That’s nothing,” the biggest who was holding Cas’s arm tightly, “Watch this, the kid’s a total retard,” he leaned down next to Cas’s bloody face, “Hey, Nine, you want us to stop? Tell us how much you want us to stop.” Cas’s eyes went wide with fear and he started to stutter.

“S-s-s-top, p-p-please,” he held a weak hand up and Dean’s resolve broke. He kicked the first Angel in the back hard sending the boy toppling forward and hitting his head on the cement. The second Angel was down from a brutal punch to the head before he even realized it and the third, the ringleader, was running away before Dean could come close.

“Baby,” Dean fell down on his knees and took in Cas’s bloody face, “Baby are you ok?” Cas nodded and swallowed hard.

“Asked Jo not to tell,” he breathed hard in concentration.

“How long has this been going on?” Dean wasn’t calm, calm be fucking damned his boyfriend was being beaten and he was going to find out the fucking truth. “How long Castiel?!” He roared when Cas just looked away.

“Since I got,” Cas breathed hard, “Since I got my number. Four months,” he paused again, “It wasn’t this b-bad,” he started stuttering and trembling when Dean’s face became stony and terrifying. “N-n-no, D-D-Dean please, s-s-s-stay,” he reached out and grabbed for Dean’s face. “P-p-please,” he sobbed.

“Ok, ok Castiel, ok,” Dean rubbed his boyfriend’s arms. Neither pulled the other towards them but they ended up in a tight hug. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Dean whispered.

“I-I think w-w-we both k-know.” Cas whispered back and Dean pushed his face in deeper to his boyfriend’s neck. He was terrified and the only comfort he’d had these days was burying his face in his boyfriend.

“Please can we not talk about it?” Dean begged.

“T-then forgive me f-f-for not t-telling,” Cas sniffed and Dean nodded.

“Ok,” Dean kissed Cas’s neck.

“I’m sorry for not telling you, I just,” Cas sighed when Dean opened his mouth and covered his neck with hot kisses, “I was afraid of you getting in trouble, I love you and I don’t want you to…” he squinted his eyes when Dean pulled back beaming. “What?”

“You just spoke, without pausing, without stuttering.” Cas’s jaw dropped when he realized what he’d just said.

“I d-d-didn’t t-t-think,” he stuttered and took a calming breath. “It just came,” he growled clearly frustrated.

“Hey,” Dean rubbed circles in his best friend’s cheeks. “Don’t push yourself, it’ll come.” The two Angels near them started stirring and Dean pulled Cas to his feet. “We should get out of here.” Cas nodded but stopped and pulled at Dean’s hand. He rubbed his face and instantly the cuts and bruises were gone.

“How was school?” Mary asked when the four boys trouped in. No matter how “cool” Dean and Cas got they always waited for Sam and (now nearly always) Gabe to get done at the junior high.

When Cas first walked down the halls with his jet black wings there were whispers. Then when it was found out the dude got a _Nine_ everyone was talking. And Dean Winchester just oozed cool, the students all were used to the two boys being _together_ hell they’d been dating since middle school and any new student learned very quickly not to mess with the gay kids.

But then it was learned that Cas was a complete pushover. The guy could barely speak and he flinched whenever anyone got near. He also had an unconscious habit of swatting at his left ear and then not even Dean Winchester could protect him.

So there were taunts. And murmurs. He must not be good enough, maybe he’s covering his two with makeup and drawing a nine on. For some just whispering was enough. For others...first it was proof, Cas’s hand shoved under boiling water to wash away the makeup. When it was proved he was a Nine, then it was time to beat him, force him to show his powers. When that didn’t work, well Dean came at the right moment then.

“School was fine,” Cas said, everyone waited for him to say more. Over the months they’d understood Cas’s tells, how he would furrow his brow and breathe hard when he wanted to say more. “I passed my history exam, a-a-and Dean and I,” he breathed hard trying to get the right words, “My s-s-s-speech is better.” Dean beamed and everyone offered their congratulations.

Mary started working on dinner and Sam and Gabe went to his room to study. Dean dragged Cas downstairs and started working on an idea he’d had for a while.

And that idea was to kiss his boyfriend senseless.

“Dean,” Cas said between kisses, “Dean wait,” he breathed and Dean pulled back.

“What?”

“I love you.” Cas said proudly with no hesitation or stuttering. “I love you Dean Winchester and I want to marry you and grow old with you.” He kissed Dean’s open mouth and dragged him back to his room.

“Is that all you wanted to say?” Dean pulled his shirt off and Cas pushed his hands away before he could undo his pants.

“Yes,” Dean moaned when Cas’s mouth suctioned on to his clavicle. The Angel’s hands pushed roughly and shimmied them both out of their clothes down to boxers. He pushed Dean down on the bed and straddled him his wings coming around them both to cut out the outside world.

“Do we have time…?” Dean panted as Cas’s hips started a slow, but steady rhythm.

“No,” Cas continued rocking on Dean’s open lap their hard shafts rubbing together inside their boxers. “We sh-sh-should make this quick,” and it wasn’t his stutter that made his words come out with difficulty.

“Then come here,” Dean pulled his Angel down to lay across his chest. “You know this’d be a lot cleaner if we didn’t have these boxers.” He teased and Cas waved his hand and the fabric was gone.

Ever since the first time Cas had used his powers against Michael, Dean was the only person he showed his powers to. And his powers were impressive.

What was more impressive was the cock sliding with his between Cas’s hands, and Cas’s tongue down his throat. So Dean just stopped thinking and started participating thoroughly. He raked his hands up Cas’s back and dug them deep in black feathers. After months, Cas may not have been able to express himself with words but his body was able to speak louder than his voice ever could.

They learned about the oil glands at the base of his wings and how if Dean pressed in just the right way it was like a second orgasm. They learned the oil worked better than any lube made by man, and they learned (well really it had been a joke) that Dean _really_ liked the taste of the oil.

They learned Dean had different ways of grasping the black feathers. Each way caused a different reaction too. When Dean petted softly Cas’s breath became heavy and he curled himself into everything of Dean, he would rock slowly and bring them into such bliss. Then when the green eyed boy pulled roughly, shoved his fingers between the dark feathers and grabbed handfuls his boyfriend went crazy. He threw his body into his best friend and rut like the world was ending in two minutes.

Today it was rough grabbing. Dean was tentative at first but his Angel was sturdy and after months he knew exactly how hard he could pull. His fingers were full of feathers and he let one go, grinning wickedly at the whine thrown into his mouth, only to press his thumb hard into an oil gland.

“Ohhhh Dean,” Cas threw his head back and keened pulling on their cocks roughly, his hips moving with abandon, graceless humping rode them into pleasure. White streaked over their stomachs and chests as they groaned out. Cas arched his back in Dean’s hands as his hands settled to soothing strokes. He waved his hand and the drying cum was gone and they curled into one another. Dean petted the silky feathers softly and Cas hummed into his chest. His voice was getting deeper and Dean didn’t know how he was going to survive the rest of his life with a constant boner after hearing the deep timbres of his boyfriend’s voice.

“I love you,” he murmured into sweaty, brown hair.

“Hmmm,” Cas hummed sending deep vibrations in his lover’s chest. “I love you too,” he licked the sweat on Dean’s shoulder.

“You know you’re gonna kill me with that voice of yours.” Cas chuckled deeply.

“Well then I better learn to speak properly.” Cas moaned slightly when Dean sucked on his ear.

“How about a wager,” he breathed, tugging on the appendage lightly. “Every time you don’t stutter I’ll reward you.” He kissed lovingly and caressed Cas’s mouth with his tongue.

“And what will you… do if I do… stutter?”

“Hmmm,” Dean kissed his lover’s nose. “I’ll kiss you because you’re adorable.”

“That’s fine but what if…” Cas shut his eyes tightly and breathed in frustration. “What if…” the words vanished and he rolled away growling. He punched the pillow and roared in anger. Dean moved back out of the bed, having had far too much experience with this and just let his boyfriend rage. This wasn’t the first time Cas had taken his frustration out like this. He was stuck inside his head and everything was _just there_ but he couldn’t get it out. Cas punched the bed and ripped the sheets letting out everything he couldn’t say. He only stopped when exhaustion took over and he fell on the bed in a pile. Dean moved from where he was standing in the corner and held his boyfriend from behind. He cradled Cas and rubbed his face in shaking hair.

“I love you,” he said forcefully.

“B-b-broken,” came a mumbled sob.

“Then I love you, broken or not,” Dean kissed Cas’s scalp. “You aren’t broken, damaged, or bad in any way Castiel. But no matter what you are I will always love you. Ok?” Cas shook his head.

“N-n-no, I’m,” he breathed hard and Dean just waited, “I’m _b-b-broken_ and st-st-stupid,” he thrashed a bit but Dean was able to hold him down.

“Ok so what if you are, but what if,” Dean breathed hard his fears stilling Cas, “What if, _when_ I present,” Dean trembled and Cas stopped completely and soothed his boyfriend, Dean took a few calming breaths, “When I present will you still love me?” he asked it quickly. What had started as a way to calm Castiel became a quick downward spiral into Dean’s unspoken terrors and unspoken need for Cas’s unwavering support.

“Yes,” he turned in Dean’s arms, ungracefully hitting his boyfriend in the face with his wing. “Yes, I will love you always. Nothing you say or do will ever stop that. You can be a level Ten and I will still stay right here, right in your arms. I love—” he stopped when Dean huffed a tiny laugh. “What? You don’t believe me? I’ll prove it,” he pushed his hand hard on Dean’s chest, “I _love_ you Dean Winchester and I’m going to marry you and you are my _everything_ Dean Winchester and I won’t ever stop telling you that.” Dean kissed him roughly. “What was that for?”

“I told you. You don’t stutter, you get a kiss.” Cas opened and closed his mouth, but this time he wasn’t trying to say anything. “I didn’t try to bring it up on purpose.” Dean said quickly seeing a flinty look in Cas’s eyes. “I’m not that much of a…” his voice died and Cas immediately understood and kissed all over his face.

“Ok,” he kissed softly and they heard Mary calling from upstairs. Instantly they were fully dressed and still in one another’s arms. “Ok, whatever happens I’ll love you, just like you’ll love me even though I’m…” the last word stuck in his throat like peanut butter. “B-b-broken,” he choked out.

“Yup,” Dean kissed one more time and pulled them up out of the bed. “I love you…” he waited for Cas to finish.

“Broken or not,” Cas finished smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Character development! As always it's lovely to write for you and even lovelier to hear from you!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry my lovlies for the late update but I was finishing a research paper for one of my grad classes! Hope you enjoy the chapter!

_“Hold him down, he’s fighting back_. _” Cas felt thick leather bindings on his legs, arms, and forehead. He opened his eyes and saw nothing but black and one blinding light in front of him._

_“It isn’t taking, I have to add another,” Cas felt a needle sink deep in his forehead._

_“Careful, careful you’ll damage him.”_

Cas woke violently. He was covered in sweat and thrashing. Dean’s arm curled around him and his lover was awake instantly.

“Shh, shh, baby I’m here.” Dean held Cas down and petted his wings. When the Angel was quiet, still trembling, but quiet Dean spoke again softly. “Same nightmare again?” Cas nodded.

“It was clearer this time,” he shook in Dean’s arms and burrowed himself deep in the warmth.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Dean asked just like every time.

They’d been in their senior year for three months and it had been seven months since Cas’s wings first made their appearance and then the whole fiasco of Cas’s brain not working out how to speak and think at the same time. His mind was still befuddled, and when he was really stressed he simply stopped functioning. It started and then became a survival reaction, while he was getting beaten he would shut down. His mind would stop and everything was easier. It also meant he was unable to communicate in any way, even with Dean.

What else came out were the nightmares.

They had gotten so bad Chuck and Dean’s parents had just thrown up their hands and allowed the boys to sleep either at Chuck’s or the Winchester’s. If Cas had a nightmare and Dean wasn’t there…there was no way he could calm down. One of the first nights Cas screamed and anytime someone came near him they ended up thrown into a wall. Dean was the only one to stop the nightmares and, after much work and coaxing, he could get Cas to fall back asleep.

“No, can we just… stay quiet?” Cas whispered.

“Sure, do you think you can try and go to sleep?”

“I’ll try.”

“That’s the spirit,” Dean hugged Cas closer and ran his fingers gently through black feathers.

After a while Dean felt Cas fall back asleep, his heavy breathing mixed with a sigh or whimper every now and then. Dean stayed awake through it all. He’d fall asleep in an hour or so, once the danger had passed. If Castiel had a nightmare he’d always have a second usually half an hour after he fell asleep and it was always worse.

As if on cue Cas started thrashing and screaming in his sleep. Dean held tightly on to everything he could, even wrapping his legs around his trembling boyfriend. For the past few nights Dean had noticed he was getting stronger, he could hold his boyfriend down better, take the punches easier.

“Dean!” Cas called out and opened his eyes in a jerk. He was breathing heavily and his eyes widened even more when he saw Dean’s face.

“Dean,” he grabbed his lover’s face and stared hard. “You’re eyes…” his voice died as he lost himself. The candy gold green was gone and nothing but black filled Dean’s eyes. “You’re a…”

“Demon?” Dean’s voice was raspier and Cas couldn’t help but roll his hips into his Demon’s legs. “Do you still love me?” Dean growled out. Cas let out a shuddering breath and felt a rough hand come down to his rock hard cock.

“Oh yes, fuck _yes_ ,” Cas leaned his head to the side so Dean could bite down while he rutted his hips into his Demon’s open palm.

“That’s it Angel,” Dean growled, “I want you to come undone,” he rolled them so Cas was lying under his boyfriend, his legs wrapped around Dean’s waist. His wings spread out beautifully and Cas licked his lips to see what Dean would do next.

There was nothing easy about Dean’s new movements. He was greedy and he took roughly. His tongue was flat and hot and wide all over Cas’s chest as the Demon inside him called out to taste all of his Angel. When his tongue was done licking all over his Angel’s skin the Demon replaced his tongue with his teeth. Cas grunted out when he felt sharp teeth over his nipples, chest, and stomach. Dean smirked up and his black eyes drove Castiel crazy. They were hard and unyielding and terrifying.

And Cas was horny as fuck for them.

Dean’s face was harder the expanse of black taking away his green expression. But then as Cas held his boyfriend’s face the black made it feel like he was seeing into Dean’s soul. He oozed danger and if Cas didn’t feel the love in his fingers on his wings he would have been terrified.

“Who do you belong to Angel,” the Demon dipped down and bit hard on Cas’s nipple.

“You,” Cas was haggard and could barely breathe. “I b-b-belong to y-y-you,” he stuttered out. He hissed when a sharp slap hit his side accompanied by a bite.

“Maybe instead of kisses I should punish you when you stammer,” Dean looked up, a playful glint in his black eyes.

“Y-y-you c-c-could do th-th-that,” Cas stammered a bit on purpose smirking at his Demon seeing how far he could push. A slap came on the back of his thigh this time and a bite to the inside of the opposite leg.

“I think you want to be punished,” Dean bit down again at the pulse point in Cas’s groin, sending the Angel arching up from the bed. “Is that what you want, Angel? You want me to mark you and hit you?”

“Y-y-yes,” Cas stuttered and Dean was by his side in an instant.

“You know I’ll never really hurt you,” Dean nosed his soul mate. Cas would be the only one on the planet he would be affectionate with while he was Black.

“O-o-ok,” Cas couldn’t think straight when his god of a boyfriend was being kind, and while his black eyes were driving him up a wall. His cock was aching and he was sure if Dean kept looking at him with those black eyes and rough touches he was going to come, and very quickly.

“I love you and I’ll always take care of you.”

“Dean,” Cas grabbed roughly at his boyfriend’s shaft and had Dean been unassigned he would have bruised. “I _know._ Fuck me. Hard.”

“You’re a little slut aren’t you?” Dean sucked on his fingers and teased them at Cas’s entrance. They’d switched a few times and it had never felt quite _right_. But now with a Demon fighting and dominating it was kind of…awesome.

“Who’s the bigger slut…me for asking for…it, or you for giving…in?” Cas groaned when he felt a finger sink in none too gently.

“Hands and knees, Angel,” Dean’s ragged voice woke Cas who had been happily riding four fingers and blissed completely out. He rose shakily to his hands and knees, turning so he could present his ass right to his Demon’s face. He was rewarded with rough fingers at his oil glands.

“You’re dripping, Angel, you really are a slut for me aren’t you?” Dean smirked darkly as he slicked his shaft up.

“Only for you, fuck!” Cas cried when Dean slammed into him. With those words Dean nearly sent Cas’s head into the wall as he rut in. The Demon fisted at black feathers and Cas tasted blood as he bit through his lip to try and stay quiet.

Because everything was so rough, and new, and hard they didn’t last long. There was only the hint of the awesome possibility to come. Dean’s strength matched Cas’s and both were incredibly sturdy so the rougher the better once they finally broke the other in.

As it was they just rut and Dean had to bite hard at Cas’s shoulder drawing blood so he didn’t scream out when he came deep in Cas’s ass. Cas was just far enough from orgasm that Dean was able to flip him and suck the orgasm down. His black eyes slowly faded as he watched the hazy, sweaty man in his bed. Because in this moment Cas was no longer a boy, or a brain damaged Angel. He was a powerful being, a man with broadening muscle. Dean’s husband.

Dean lay awake for a long time after Cas fell into a deep slumber. He could tell the difference between Cas’s sleeping breaths to tell if a nightmare was on the way and with the deep rumbles he knew a nightmare wasn’t coming again tonight.

As he rubbed Cas’s arm and back Dean thought over this new development. Looking at Cas’s completely relaxed and trusting face Dean was actually…relieved. He’d been sitting on a knife edge for nearly a year, always wondering, always guessing (correctly) how he would present. Dean knew he wasn’t as patient as his parents or Cas, he was rough, and he’d rather fix his problems with his fists than diplomacy.

After Cas had gotten back from the Facility his speech problems and nightmares weren’t everything. Dean knew Cas was hiding things from him, the guy jumped at everyone who wasn’t Dean. Early on he even seemed nervous even when John was near, and one time he nearly screamed when Dean’s father came up and tapped him on the shoulder.

And there was a reason Cas didn’t tell. Because he knew as well as Dean that if Dean knew everything his boyfriend was going through he would beat down and set fire to the facility. Because Cas would always be his weakness.

So as he lay awake, stroking his boyfriend’s sweaty skin, he felt calmed. That finally he could be who he was and not have to pretend any more. Everyone had been planning on his being an Angel because of his parents, and Dean had played that role. But now he could be free to act as he wanted.

And it wasn’t as if he wasn’t a little worried. They’d all heard stories of Demons murdering hundreds, going in Black Rages and ripping apart anyone in front of them. Of Demons putting lives in danger, being set off by any little thing, really Demons were the only ones guilty of all the terrible crimes.

But Dean didn’t really have any interest in that. Yeah deep down he might like to pay a visit to the ass hats that were beating his boyfriend senseless, but not to kill. More like slash the tires on their thirty thousand dollar pickups. His eyes went smirking black at the thought.

Yeah, Dean the Demon wasn’t interested in murder.

But he wouldn’t mind raising a little hell.

***

“Mom,” Dean came up and was nervous, but Cas held his hand. “I, um, presented last night.” Mary spun around to see the soft gold wings she knew would be there. She froze slightly when no feathers appeared and frowned a bit in confusion.

“You…” Dean flashed his eyes and felt his boyfriend shiver, “You presented.” Mary set her shoulders and both boys were shocked when she bowled her oldest over with a hard hug. “You presented, I’m so proud of you.”

“Aren’t you disappointed…?”

“There are good Demons and there are bad Demons, just like there are good and bad Angels,” Mary said firmly. “Are you going to go out a murder anyone?”

“No!”

Mary beamed, “Then I’m proud.” She hugged Cas so he wouldn’t feel left out. “I’m proud of _both_ of you.”

Sam was completely unfazed when he came home with Gabriel. Cas’s foster brother did look a bit warily at the young Demon and kept a bit closer to Sam before they ran off to the younger boy’s room. John’s words mirrored his wife’s but both boys saw the shock behind his eyes.

“They hate me,” Dean lay in bed with Cas on his chest stroking his arms.

“They don’t,” Cas kissed the cool skin under his chin. “They’re just……surprised that’s all.” Dean huffed, “Can you blame……them?”

“What?!”

“Think about it,” Cas breathed hard, willing the words to come. “Th-they’ve been p-p-preparing all their lives…and…now you s-surprise them.”

“I didn’t mean to!” Dean whisper shouted, “I never _told_ them I was going to be an Angel, I never went out and got the fucking tee-shirt with Angel in Training written on it. I didn’t have Angel tattooed on my ass!”

“Y-y-you didn’t?” Cas looked playful. “Pity.” He struggled with the word, “All I’m saying…is…is that you have had expectations……”

“They had no way of knowing.”

“No,” Cas gave a huge sigh and fingered an old scar on his arm. The mark was the reason he had switched to Chuck’s house. “They didn’t.”

“I’m sorry,” Dean enveloped his boyfriend, they’d gotten good with the wings, in his arms. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think.”

“Nope,” Cas sighed much softer into Dean’s neck. “You’re not thinking…if you think…we hate you.”

“I didn’t say you!”

“Under confident,” Cas tisked. He laughed when Dean licked his ear and started to tickle his wings.

***

“Y-you’re going to……get a…fifteen,” Cas’s speech was worse as they stood outside the testing facility. Dean hadn’t even thought of his number, the past thirty odd hours he knew he was Demon, the number never entered his brain. What did enter his mind was Cas. Castiel had gone into that building and come out completely different. Sure he was the dude Dean loved, his personality was the same, but he didn’t talk any more. Before he and Dean could talk for hours in the dark, or during video games, or in the library, or wherever, Dean couldn’t get his boyfriend to shut up.

But now…

Cas was comfortable around Dean. He spoke without fear of his stammer or pauses, but he didn’t _talk_ any more. He was more content to listen and then after carefully formed, pre-made sentences he would speak.

“I l-l-l-love y-you,” Cas stuttered and his wings trembled.

“Hey,” Dean ran a soft, petting hand through black feathers. The fluff leaned into his fingers and Cas rested his forehead against Dean’s. “Hey, I’m going to be fine.” He kissed swiftly and started to walk away.

“D-don’t come back…like me,” Cas called and Dean had to spin and pull his boyfriend in hard. He flashed his eyes black and looked deep into sapphires.

“I would be fucking _honored_ if I got to come back like you.” He said firmly. “You are my world Castiel, and if I get a stutter or pauses I will be happy because I’ll be like you.”

“O-ok,” Cas sniffed, “B-but still…don’t get hurt.” Dean nodded.

“Love you.”

“L-love you.”

Cas was an anxious mess the two days Dean was being tested. His nightmares were awful. The first night he spent at Chuck’s and he exploded their lamps and windows in his sleep. Gabe hid under his blankets so the shards of glass flying around the room didn’t hurt him, but they did scratch Chuck pretty bad when he ran into the room. Cas refused to sleep after that and the next night Chuck told Gabe to spend it at the Winchester’s just in case. It didn’t matter anyway. Cas didn’t sleep. He just stayed balled up in the corner and stared blankly at the room.

Being back at the facility brought fresh terrors and Cas couldn’t stop the strange images and pain behind his left ear.

But he forced himself to return because that was where Dean was and he wanted to be there for Dean. His heart leapt when he saw the familiar bowlegs coming down the steps and Dean blinked confusedly as Cas ran up to him.

“Have I gone in yet?”

“Yes, y-you went in…two days ago.” Dean nodded absently. He wasn’t pale and he didn’t look too worse for wear, just a bit confused.

“Well I’d swear that I just kissed you a minute ago baby,” Cas shook his head, “Huh.” They both looked down at the white bandage on Dean’s wrist. “Well no time like the present,” Dean ripped the tape off and looked at the black spikey _5_ scrawled there.

“Ar-are you o-ok?” Cas gestured to his boyfriend’s wrist.

“Are you ok with it?” Cas answered by kissing softly. “Then I’m more than fine.”

And they were completely fine.

There were rumors at school when Dean came back the next day with the black _5_ but the dude was a Demon. Granted a low ranked Demon, but a Demon nonetheless. His teachers tried to act like he was no different but Dean just knew they were holding back their fear of him. What did they expect him to do? Burn the classroom down?

But then again Cas had the shit kicked out of him when he was seven just because he had the potential of being a Demon.

“Oooh _Dracula_ ,” Dean plopped down and took all the pickles off Cas’s tray. “Do you vant to suck my blood?” he crooned in his distracted boyfriend’s ear in a terrible accent,

“What are you……supposed to be?”

“A vampire,” Dean bit down on his pizza.

“You sound ridiculous,” Cas huffed and closed his book.  

“Why are you reading it?”

“Wanted to,” Cas said nothing more and Dean couldn’t help but think if this had been before Cas got his wings Dean would have had to sit through a twenty minute lecture as to why his boyfriend had chosen to read _Dracula_.

“Any fights today?”

“No…fights,” Cas smiled at him.

“Are you lying?” Cas shook his head and Dean gave a firm nod. It seemed that now that he’d presented the others had left Cas alone for fear of the Demon.

Cas just smiled around his fork, there was no way in hell he was going to tell Dean he’d already been beaten up today and had to fix his broken arm with his powers yesterday.

“It’s…written in…diary…format,” Cas struggled out, he held up his book when Dean looked confused. “It’s a diary, so it’s…scarier because it’s not happening…in real time…you know…something else… _could_ be happening…and when the writing stops…”

And Dean’s heart swelled just a little bit. They were going to be fine. Cas was going to heal, and be better and their life would be perfect.

Two weeks later when he and Cas were running for their lives Dean had to rethink his perfect life plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh cliffhanger!! I am going to be an awful writer and say that I will be on vacation for the next ten days, I will be taking my laptop with me so hopefully I'll have some time to write!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry my lovlies, as amazing as my vacation was I had no internet! I did throw this chapter together, we're going to see a whole lot more plot and character development now so I promise the updates will be coming at a more regular basis! And as penance for my sins I wrote an extremely long one shot on my phone and just posted it! I have to say other than this story and The Change, Operation Hookup is probably my favorite thing I've written so please read and review! 
> 
> As always thanks for your patience, love, and support, you make it worth writing!!

“Come on, Retard, fight back—” Cas couldn’t tell the difference between the black voices, he raised his fists weakly only to be mocked mercilessly. “Can’t believe this kid got a nine,” the cruel voices melded together.

“P-p-please,” Cas begged. He didn’t want to use his powers, and he didn’t want to get beat up again. Dean had reminding him he had to stand up for himself, but Cas knew if he stood up for himself and used his powers then these bullies would be through the walls. And that terrified him more than bullies, more than Dean’s anger, more than any bruises or broken things he could have.

He was brought violently out of his thoughts when a brutal punch landed on the back of his head, flying his face into the cement. His nose cracked and he felt fresh blood pour down his face. He willed his anger away but it was useless. The windows of the cars around him shattered but it seemed only to piss of his tormenters more.

“You asshole!” One of the Angels screamed and kicked Cas’s stomach hard.

“Oh y-y-yes, I’m the a-a-ass-asshole,” Castiel sputtered raising himself and spitting the blood out of his mouth. “Y-y-you b-beat me and I’m t-the a-a-asshole.” Without looking he turned and went back inside the school.

“Baby,” Dean was at his locker and cradled Cas’s bloody face. “What happened?” he sounded more tired than angry.

“Nothing I couldn’t…handle.” Cas smiled easily and rubbed his face clean and injury free. He kissed the corner of his Demon’s mouth earning a sigh.

“This is what I get for falling for a lover not a fighter.” Cas laughed softly and slotted their fingers together. They started walking down the hall to their next class talking about the weekend. They giggled and lost themselves in the new developments of Sam and Gabriel’s relationship.  

“At least we _lock_ the door.” Dean guffawed. “I don’t know what’s worse seeing my brother swallowing Gabriel’s tongue or the disappointment that he wasn’t smart enough to use a lock.” Cas started laughing with his boyfriend but he was pulled violently back and his hand was ripped from Dean’s.

“You owe me new windows, Retard.” It was the same angel who had been tormenting Cas for weeks. He threw Cas down and his buddies started in on Dean while he kicked, over and over as hard as he could on Cas’s stomach.

“Cas, Cas!” Dean screamed and the two Angels holding him down flew back and hit the lockers. Dean’s eyes were black and there was no hint of love or tenderness or anything remotely human in his features. He’d gone full black.

He tore the largest Angel away and beat as hard and as fast as he could. His fists were a blur and he didn’t care how hard he hit or where his blows landed, he just went into a blind rage.

Cas tried to get to his boyfriend, but the other two cornered him and one grabbed the black feathers in his wing and wrenched. The pain was immediate, intense, and blinding. Cas forgot how to breathe as he went down on his knees and wheezed. The angels were thrown back so hard Cas heard bones breaking and he looked to see Dean still fighting the big Angel. He rose to his feet the best he could and grabbed Dean tight around the waist.

“Stop it,” he commanded and Dean’s hand paused. The other boy was near unconscious and his face didn’t look human but just lumps of bloody flesh. “Stop it,” Cas said again and Dean’s hand stopped. “You protected me, you did so well,” Cas whispered and the Demon let the Angel go. “You are too good for me. I’ll never be in pain, I’ll never get hurt as long as you’re here.” It was a mantra Cas kept repeating over and over until he felt his Demon relax. Dean turned and as had to whisper nonstop when he saw Cas’s wing hanging limply, but it worked and Dean was almost completely calm when the principal and police arrived.

It didn’t help Dean’s case that his eyes were still black. It didn’t help that the principal came forward and pointed out that the three unconscious Angels were prime students, leaders of the school, (really it was just to keep their rich parents happy). It didn’t help that despite Castile being a nine there was a rumor that the kid was a total weakling. None of it would have helped anyway. Dean was a demon and little to no rights were given to Demons. 

So Dean and Cas were kept in separate rooms and Cas completely shut down. He couldn’t speak or even look up as the principal waved a statement in front of him. It stated Dean went into a black rage and hurt everyone, including Cas.

Cas wanted _Dean_. His brain was so muddled that he couldn’t speak or calm down. The principal was red in the face and screaming and none of it helped the breakdown Cas was in the middle of. The man tried shoving a pen in the young Angel’s hand and Cas wanted to punch him in the face. Punch him so hard his jaw would break apart. But he restrained his fist enough to punch the wall.

Far off another thud hit a wall and Cas’s soul skipped.

He hit the wall again and another thump came back almost immediately. Cas had shut down once before and Dean had been there. The only way Cas could communicate was by stomping his foot so Dean, earning the title perfect boyfriend, stomped right along with him. Cas punched the wall again and another thud came right back, he smiled and they punched the wall back and forth, the only way Cas’s muddled brain would allow him to communicate. He felt the pen roughly shoved in his hand again and the principal had his hand on his and was guiding the boy’s fingers over the page to sign the document.

“You better not be doing what I think you are,” Chuck’s face was thunderous and his wings were puffed out. He took in the paper on the desk and a completely shut down Castiel. The black winged Angel hit the wall every few second and distantly a thud came across the office.

“I will say it again,” Chuck’s anger was palpable as Castile was so far into himself he didn’t even notice his foster father had entered the room. The principal still hadn’t dropped the boy’s hand, his dirty brown wings quivering. “This had better not be what I was thinking…”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” the other Angel all but squeaked. A Demon went into a Black Rage and attacked this boy along with three other Angels.”

“Where are they?”

“Who?”

“The other Angles,” Cas banged the wall again, his blank eyes stuttering, in the distance another thunk came back and Chuck nearly went into a Black Rage himself.

“They’re at the hospital, they sustained very serious injuries because of that monster.”

“And Castiel?” Chuck raged, “You felt the need to bring him in here and interrogate him rather than bring him to a hospital?” the principal looked confused. “His wing is broken!” Chuck roared and even Cas winced at the noise. Chuck calmed and knelt down to catch Cas’s downed eyes. “Cas?” he asked softly. “Can you speak?” Cas pounded on the wall and Chuck nodded.

“All he has to do is sign the paper, you can even sign it for him as you are his legal guardian and that monster will be taken care of.”

“What monster?”

“Dean Winchester, he is a Demon and he went into a black rage nearly killing three angels and Castiel.”

“Dean? Dean Winchester? You mean Cas’s boyfriend? The boy who has been coming to my house for years and has known Castiel since they were five? That Dean Winchester?” the principal paled slightly. “I will testify right now that Dean Winchester would never hurt any person if he didn’t have a reason. And I see a broken wing on his boyfriend which leads me to suspect there’s a reason.”

“I’m not at liberty to say.” The principal regained some of his composure and looked at Chuck primly. “He is a Demon and you know as well as I do the reputation Demons have.”

“I also know principals have the reputation for being ass kissers but I’m not accusing you of anything.” The man behind the desk turned purple and opened his mouth. But before he could say anything there was a huge commotion and yelling out in the main office.

“Cas! Cas!” Dean yelled and in a blink the Angel was out of his chair and at his boyfriend’s side. Dean was being led away by four police officers who were fighting hard against the Demon and Cas pushed his hand out and they all slid back. An invisible barrier was thrown up between the officers and the couple and Cas held his boyfriend as hard as he could.

“Dean,” he whispered, his still broken wing feebly trying to wrap itself around the Demon.

“I’m here baby,” he couldn’t wrap his arms around Cas as his hands were cuffed together with Demon cuffs, made with pure silver intended to zap his powers, but he buried his face as deep as it could go in his boyfriend’s neck.

“I got you…in…trouble,” Cas pushed, forced, the words out. He stroked sandy hair and Dean shrugged.

“It was worth it, I doubt they’ll go after you again.”

“I think…it’s…more serious…than…that.” Cas pulled back ever so slightly and looked at Dean’s cuffed hands. “I’m…sorry.” He said sadly and Dean kissed the sorrow away. His eyes were still terrifyingly black but they were softer just like they always were when the Demon looked at his Angel.

“Hey it’s—” But he didn’t get to finish as Cas was ripped violently back.

Cas screamed in pain as hands dug deep into his broken wing and it took six police officers to hold Dean back and four teachers were on Chuck.  Blood poured between the principal’s fingers as he gripped the black feathers tightly.

“Now, you will make a full report stating this Demon was the one who hurt you.” No one could hear the sinister whispers and no one but Cas knew the cruel fingers dug and twisted in the broken bones and Cas almost took a knee. “Then this _thing_ will be taken away and thrown in jail for the rest of its miserable life.” Castiel roared, half in agony and half in rage as the words cut into him.

“NO!” he screamed. “DEAN!” he twisted his body and he could hear more bones breaking but he didn’t care. He punched the Angel so hard the man fell back, unconscious before he hit the floor. Then before anyone could react he turned and planted his hand firmly on Dean’s chest and a blinding light shone around the couple.

***

“What the hell?” Dean said weakly, “Cas, Cas?!” he didn’t take in anything around them just Cas’s slumped form. “Baby?!” his hands shifted all over his boyfriend trying to calm himself down enough so he could help.

Castiel was deathly pale and his breath was ragged. He lifted his hand weakly, and Dean shuddered at how badly it trembled, and his fingers brushed the burning cuffs making them disappear instantly. There were red, bleeding welts where the silver touched his skin but Dean hardly noticed or cared.

“You’re safe,” he mumbled and then passed out.

_You can do this, Winchester,_ Dean thought violently to himself. _You will do this_. He started by rolling his Angel over on his stomach so he could take in the limp wing. He had to fight down the bile in his mouth when he saw that half of Cas’s back was ripped apart. It looked like the boys had broken his alula, the main muscle at the top angle of Cas’s wing. Only skin and feathers were holding the two large parts of wing together, and Dean was terrified that with all his power he wouldn’t know how exactly to heal those small, fragile bones without Cas’s help.

Then when Cas was trying to get away from the principal he nearly ripped his wing off. Blood was pouring from small and large cuts all over his back and base of the beautiful, broken wing. Dean swallowed the bitter acid in his throat and reached out to close the bloody gashes. This, at least, he could do.

Hours later Cas awoke on his stomach in a comfortable bed. He breathed in the unfamiliar scents around him, but he caught a whiff of Dean and immediately he relaxed. He tried to move gingerly but his broken wing was heavily bandaged and sent exquisite pockets of pain into his body. He shifted a bit more and reached out testing his other limbs. His legs and arms were all fine and his right wing moved awkwardly without its brother.

“Hey, there you are,” Dean came in through a door behind Cas and nuzzled his cold nose into Cas’s cheek. “Thought I’d lost you.” he murmured and Cas’ turned as much as he could to kiss all over his lover’s face.

“Not on your life, Winchester.”

“That’s my Angel,” he nosed Cas’s face and neck a bit more before pulling away. “You wanna try sitting up?” Cas nodded and held on to Dean’s leathered muscles and the boy helped pull him up. A faded patchwork quilt was wrapped around him and Cas held it tight as a sling to keep his broken wing in place. He looked around and saw that it was a small one room cabin. There was a cozy fireplace and Dean moved away to the small kitchen in the corner where the smells of stew were unmistakable and delicious. He stood a little wearily and padded softly over. Dean pumped when Cas rested his head against  his back but relaxed as he added things to the pot and stirred.

“How are you feeling?” He asked softly.

“Like I ran two hundred miles. Where are we?”

“Rocky Mountains, more specifically, Canada.”

“Canada?!” Cas yelped and dean laughed, finally able to let go of the terror or having an unconscious soul mate.

“When you zapped us you didn’t half ass it.” Cas hummed on his back.

“I’ve always loved the mountains.”

“Well looked out the window, darling.” Cas looked out and huge rocky crags soared up. Dean smiled fondly at the small noise of awe. “Wait till you’re feeling better and you go outside.”

“What are we going to do now?” there was panic boiling just under the surface of the question.

“Now,” Dean gently pushed Cas’s arms away and turned. He held up two steaming bowls of stew under Cas’s nose, “We eat.” He led them to the couch, but realized how awkward it would be for Cas. The Angel needed one hand to hold the sling/quilt, and the other was trapped under the sling/quilt. So Dean plopped down and lifted his soul mate into his lap. Once seated he reached for the stew and held a spoonful out.

“Here’s the airplane,” he cooed and Castiel glared at him.

“You’re an idiot.”

“Who’s the bigger idiot, me or you for choosing me?” Dean wiggled the spoon and Cas ate.

“I didn’t choose you, Winchester, I got stuck with you.” He took another bite. “Besides, if I did choose you I cannot be held responsible, I was _five_.”

“Would you like to choose again?” Dean found a large piece of meat and fed it to his boyfriend.

“What’s the point?” Cas sighed as he chewed. “There’s no one else.” Dean beamed, but the smile turned into a growl when Cas refused to eat more. “Not until you eat,” he insisted. “If you’re going to take care of me, you need your strength too, so you need to eat.” He refused to listen to any more, so Dean worked out a compromise he would eat one spoonful and Cas would eat the next.

Between the two of them they finished three bowls of stew and Dean had to chuckle at his boyfriend’s droopy eyes and lazy sighs.

“Bed?” Dean nosed his half asleep lover. Cas sighed and squeaked when he was lifted and brought to the bed. Dean lay him on his stomach and after a few tries they were able to tie the quilt under his right wing like a toga and his left wing stayed snug and warm. Dean stripped to his boxers and climbed quickly under the covers.

“You couldn’t have picked fucking Jamaica? You just had to send us to freaking _Canada_ in the mountains, in the _winter_.” He groused and Cas chuckled softly and wrapped his arm on his Demon’s chest. One black wing stretched out and covered them and Dean felt warm and protected. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so when it rains it pours! First the entire town I live in lost internet. The joy of living in a small town is starting to wane on me when everyone gets their internet through the same company and that company decided to have issues for a week... THEN my computer decided it had had a stressful week with me crying over no internet so it decided to show me some pretty shades of blue...at which I cried even harder because I had no backed up this and all my other stories, grad work, and novels...Needless to say I have an amazing friend who deserved every ounce of BDubs I took him to and he fixed my computer. All the stories are happily on my external hard drive and my computer is purring. 
> 
> Thank you for being so kind and wonderful and I'm so happy to be back with you all!

It took five days for Cas to gain enough strength to where he could heal the small bones in his wing. On the second day they were there Dean got a text from an unfamiliar number: _Can’t talk. I’m so sorry but it’s not safe for you to come back. It’s worse than Dean getting in trouble, they want to study Cas…experiment on him. That kind of power…I’m so sorry but I can’t protect you if you come back._

So a plan had to be made.

“Can’t we just stay here?” Dean whined. They were cozied, naked, under the quilt on the couch. It had been two weeks since the beating and Cas was fully healed, weak, but healed.

“I wish,” Cas stretched his newly whole wing and grimaced slightly at the stiff soreness. He had a few bald patches but they were starting to grow some black, downy fluff. He settled back into his boyfriend’s chest as a lazy hand ran up his arm while it’s equally lazy brother traced his back. “But it’s too dangerous here. This is a small enough town who will notice two new teenagers. I say we wait out the winter up here and then go somewhere big. We can pass for college students and get jobs and an apartment…” they both glazed over at the thought.

“You know, I’m only going to agree with you because I want to be naked all the time. It’ll be nice not to worry about someone walking in…” Cas wiggled his eyebrows.

“You know this is the longest we’ve gone without sex?” Cas shivered when hands found his feathers to rub gently. “I think we’re maturing.” He sighed when hot lips mouthed at his neck. “What are you doing?” He didn’t stop it, hell he could barely protest when a hand cupped his shaft.

“Being immature,” Dean smirked into Cas’s neck.

“Mmm, in that case,” Cas’s hips jerked when the lazy hand became industrious and started slowly jacking him off. “Never grow up,” he found Dean’s face and they shared a look as hot as the fire in the grate next to them.

Cas didn’t have the energy to have fast, rough sex, and they’d learned a while ago his healed wing didn’t like it when he lay on his back so Dean riding him was out.

So there was only one thing to do.

Cas reached back and used his oil to slick his fingers up. He threw one of Dean’s legs over the back of the couch and they both moaned when his finger slipped past the ring of muscle to loosen it up. they both enjoyed the view of Dean throwing his head back at the sweet burn of Cas’s fingers then shaft.

The Angel started slow, they both easily enjoyed the pace, it wasn’t their favorite, but hey sex was sex. It was hot and intimate and that was all they really needed. Cas rocked gently against Dean’s prostate and for a while that was enough to seesaw back and forth while Dean’s leg was still high on the couch.

Perhaps it was the gentle petting of his wings, or the sorrow of letting their old lives go, but the pace remained slow. It was a connection that was steady down to their cells and souls. Cas inched in and out sometimes gluing his chest to his lover’s, sometimes opting for sitting back and flairing his wings out to their near full extent. Dean moved them so they were sitting on the couch and he was straddling Cas so the Angel had more room to really flex his wings. And his hands never left the downy black feathers. His fingers moved like Cas’s thrusts, steady, sure, loving, and soul connecting.

Cas brought his hands up to Dean’s face and they looked in one another’s hooded eyes saying millions, billions of words in complete silence. Their mouths hung open as they shared the same hot, ragged air as Cas started moving steadily, his pace increasing ever so slightly.

They lasted an hour. An hour of strong and steady thrusts, of two souls bending and blending together seamlessly. It was hard to tell where one began and the other ended.

Their orgasm consumed them to the point where both were nothing but fire. It wasn’t loud, hell neither had made a noise other than soft sighs. Whispered I love you’s caressed the air as Cas rocked his hips through their orgasm.

When they could breathe again Cas waved his hands and they were soft and clean The light was hazy around them forgetting the world outside their cozy bubble.  

***

Castiel shook his white wings in irritation. Nine fucking years he had worked at this Assignment Office and still they hadn’t figured out how to make a decent fucking cup of coffee. Angrily he pulled out his phone and sent a text message.

 _The coffee is shit_ , **_again_** _._

_Well I could come and sweeten it but I doubt your coworkers would enjoy the taste of my cum as much as you do sweetheart ;)_

Cas chuckled softly, _You’re an idiot_.

_Who’s the bigger one me or you?_

And just like that the day was a bit better.

“Ahh, I see you’re smiling you must not have had the coffee.” Alfie plopped down next to him as they settled for the board meeting, which was mostly just for their boss Dick Roman (a level seven Angel who really lived up to his name) to speak on the subject of how astoundingly awesome Dick Fucking Roman was.

“I did actually sample that black grime charitably called coffee.”

“And you’re still alive?” Alfie joked, “And smiling even!” Cas waved his phone. “Ahh, the disgustingly handsome _Andrew_ ,” he opened his mouth to say more but the humble bragging had started early and both men had to sit back and pretend they were interested.

The three hour meeting improved when Alfie started drawing extremely well endowed stick men and writing _Andrew_? next to them. Cas carefully took the paper, not that anyone was paying attention to them, they were all hanging on Roman’s every thought and drew a stick man with an _extremely_ long third leg and wrote Andrew. under it.

Alfie had to claim a bad cold coming on as he coke/coughed/laughed for the better part of five minutes. But there was an upside to his outburst, Roman ended the meeting early and they were free to leave.

“Jimmy Novak,” Cas groaned as he heard his boss calling him. Alfie shot him a concerned look and fled, lest he be called as well.

“Sir?”

“Jimmy how long have you been with this company?”

“I came here after college, sir, nine years, and I’ve been two years in this division.”

“I ask because I like you, you’re a family man, though I still don’t know about Angels and nonAngels together. But, you seem to make it work.” Cas sighed and tried not to roll his eyes. “My point is, is that I’ve not been able to properly welcome you to this division and I’m doing so now.” _After two fucking years_ Cas thought ruefully.

“Thank you sir,” he bowed slightly earning a grin from his asshole boss. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

“I will, Jimmy I will.” There was something in his grin that gave Cas a bit of unease but he decided he would think about it later.

The day, thankfully was a groaning blur that Cas didn’t pay much attention to. He despised his job but it paid well and living in a New York City apartment wasn’t cheap.

“Honey?” He called, taking his shoes off at the door. Their apartment was tiny, really just the hall that opened to the living room, one bedroom with a small bathroom and a kitchen on the other side of the hallway wall.

“Kitchen,” came the call and Cas settled into his coming home routine. They’d been in this apartment for five years so everything was well worn and every object memorized and familiar.

“So you won’t believe the day I had.” Cas stripped his tie and moved to the bedroom so he could switch his clothes for more comfortable sweats.

“Shitty coffee not the worst?” came the deep voice from the kitchen.

“That was _frosting_ compared to everything else, Anna dropped two inches of registration paperwork on my desk, and _could you please get it done Friday? You’re a doll_!” Cas mimicked as he unbuttoned his angel suit from around his neck. He heard a chuckle from the kitchen. “Oh and before that Dick fucking Roman pulls me aside to “officially welcome me to his division.”” Cas knew no one could see his air quotes but they made him feel better. He pulled on sweats and thick wool stocks and lumbered into the kitchen.

“Didn’t you start on that floor like two years ago?” Dean looked up from flipping burgers to give Cas a quick kiss. Cas grabbed the open beer on the counter and nodded.

“But he’s Dick _fucking_ Roman, he can’t give two shits about anyone who isn’t Dick _fucking_ Roman.”

“Hey! You’re gonna finish my beer!” Dean yelped and Cas clinked the gold ring on his hand against the glass.

“What’s yours is mine, dear husband.” He laughed when Dean tackled him around the middle and lifted him. “Don’t burn the burgers!” Dean went back to the stove and flipped the meat again.

“I thought you’d be more interested in me than food, you must be getting old, ten years ago you’d have already had me against the wall _twice_.”

“You couldn’t cook like this ten years ago,” Cas laughed as he pulled out the plates. They fell into a familiar rhythm, Dean long ago learning exactly how his husband took his burger and Cas long ago learning he loved to wrap his arms around his husband and rest his head at the base of Dean’s neck.

“You must have had a bad day baby,” Dean turned after he plated the burgers, his silver cuff not stopping him at all. He buried his face in his husband’s hair. “Usually you keep the spell up.” he brushed at the soft, black, wings which leaned into his touch like static. “Or at least you wait until I dim the lights,” Cas humphed into his chest and Dean laughed.

“Remind me again why this promotion was a good thing?” Cas pulled away and took his plate of food.

“It pays well,” Dean said automatically. It was a canned response both were familiar with. Cas smiled and kissed his husband reveling in the way his gold ring felt in Dean’s short hair.

“Oh and I ran into _Hannah_ again.” Cas said between bites.

“Does she like wait at your office or something?”

“Probably, I wouldn’t doubt she has my entire schedule memorized.” Cas said between bites.

“Did she try and hit on you again?” There was no jealousy just vague amusement.

“Jokingly like, hey I’d love to take you to dinner, too bad you’re gay!” Cas banged his head on the table. Hannah was nice enough but he had had to endure seven years of hard flirting and even bringing Dean, his husband _hello_ , to every Christmas party nothing dissuaded her. Even last year when they were accidentally-on-purpose caught furiously making out in one of the cupboards and became the gossip of the floor for nearly a month, she still hounded him. Finally, Cas had to break down and say he was an extremely happily married man, emphasis on the _married_ and it was never, ever, _ever_ going to happen.

Dean rubbed soothing circles on Cas’s shoulders, “I’m sorry baby, what did she want? other than to be a bitch?”

“Fashion advice!” Cas wailed and Dean literally fell off his chair, he was laughing that hard. “It’s not funny!” Cas tried not to smile at his idiot soul mate rolling on the floor, tears streaming down his face. “She said she knew “all gays have a sense of style’” and could I please help her out for her date on Friday!” He used the air quotes and Dean guffawed louder. “It’s not funny!” Cas jumped and pounced on his husband. They giggled together and then quieted.

“It’s not funny,” Cas said softly, nosing Dean’s face as the man’s hands massaged his wings. Neither had bothered to get up from the floor, Dean was on his back and Cas his stomach, half across his demon’s chest.

“It’s a little funny, I mean does she know you have two outfits, that shitty suit and your sweats?”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Mmm,” Dean found Cas’s neck and kissed, his fingers becoming a little more adventurous in their grooming. “Who’s the bigger one, me or you?” Cas smiled and kissed his husband with an open mouth, his wings arching (naturally) into his husband’s calming hands.

“You know,” Cas said as he tangled with Dean on the floor, their interested cocks barely touching. “I have _three_ outfits.” Dean cocked his head to the side in question. “I’m surprised and a little disappointed you didn’t remember my favorite outfit.”

“The baggy sweatshirt of mine you ripped apart to make room for your wings?” Cas shook his head and pulled back he rose and hooked his fingers in his waist band.

“I’m so disappointed I may never wear this outfit again.” He sighed as his pants and boxers dropped to the floor and Dean grinned wickedly.

“Oh that one is my favorite by far,” he grinned and rose so he could feel his husband’s skin. “I like the way it flatters you here,” he ran a wide palm over a perfect ass, his wedding ring sending cold zings up the firm flesh, “And the way it shows off these curves,” he cupped Cas’s cock and the angle shuddered. “I especially like,” Dean whispered as he pulled away and yanked at his clothes, “That I have a matching outfit.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t ask you how your day went.” Cas said when they regained their breathing and their sweat stuck them together. They were still on the floor but now Cas was using Dean’s chest as a pillow and Dean had piled his clothes under his head. His fingers were back carding through the black feathers, now that their lust had been sated quite thoroughly the touches did nothing but send the Angel into blissful relaxation.

Dean shrugged, “Day was a day, it was fine. Benny was pissed because some asshole dented his car.”

“Mmm,” Cas’s voice was about fifteen octaves deeper and was more of a vibration than voice and Dean _loved_ it. “Good thing he knows a fantastic mechanic,” his wings jumped minutely when Dean’s fingers found the thirteen year old scar. It was hard to see, even Dean (who knew it was there) couldn’t find it easily. Dean rumbled low in his chest and his partner calmed instantly.

“Hm fantastic mechanic, Bobby?” Cas laughed and hit his side.

“Speaking of assholes you want to know who is a colossal asshole?” His voice was still deep and relaxed but it took on a slightly bitter tone.

“Dick fucking Roman?” Dean asked automatically.

“Dick fucking Roman.” Dean chuckled and held his husband tighter. Cas felt the cold jolt of the heavy silver cuff on his back.

“How about a vacation? When’s your molting coming up?”  Cas cocked his head and counted.

“Two months?” He squinted at the thought, “Two months, should be the second week of October.”

“How about we go somewhere for it?”

“Mmm, that sounds nice, but what if I’m needed?” Dean kissed the floppy brown head on his chest.

“You’re gonna have to take time off anyway. Unless you want a repeat of the first time you molted.” They blushed violently. An Angel molted two times a year and with the falling of feathers came a sort of…heat. No one knew why a new fledgling didn’t molt, but it wasn’t until two years after their presenting that an Angel shed its wings. Cas had been in the middle of one of his classes and his feathers started falling and his cock started throbbing. He ran from class to the auto shop Dean worked at and bent the mechanic over and thrust in.  An older mechanic, Bobby (Class 4 Angel) was able to get the couple into his office before they made complete fools of themselves and they stayed, sequestered for hours before Cas’s heat was able to slake enough to get them home.

Bobby never mentioned when he cleaned up the white feathers they had a vaguely chemical smell that was unmistakably bleach.

He also never mentioned hearing his young mechanic call his boyfriend Cas, or the Angel softly moaning _Dean_.

“You’re right,” Cas sighed and scrubbed his face. Dean lifted his chin lightly so he could kiss his husband tenderly.

“I love it when you say that,” Cas laughed and settled back on his husband’s broad chest and played with the cuff on his wrist. It was the mark of the Undetermined. It was easy to tell if an Angel presented, but Demons could hide. Some tried to hide and some just never presented as neither Angel nor Demon. So the cuffs came into place, it was for the public’s protection the media screamed. We have to know who is Demon and who is not.

So the cuffs came in, they were four inches of thick silver, fine for the Angles and Unassigned.

Pure torture for Demons.

“Did it hurt at all today?” he massaged the skin around the heavy cuff. They were impossible to hide, though that was their point. But then again…in this current climate…it was better to be Unassigned than Demon.

“Mmm, feels better,” Dean murmured. Early on they lined the cuff with leather, but the edges had to be clean. Cas would coo and cry every time Dean came home, cleaning and healing the burned skin. But like his bleached wings, they got better.

“I wish we didn’t have to live like this,” Cas grumbled with a low, seething anger.

“Are you unhappy, Cas?” The Angel turned so he could look hard in his husband’s eyes.

“Hell no, but I want it to be _us_. Not Jimmy and Andrew Novak but Dean and Castiel Winchester. I want my black wings and your black eyes and I want you to take this fucking _thing_ off.” He tried to pull the cuff off but Dean wouldn’t let him. “I want to see you,” Cas moved up and pressed his forehead hard into Dean’s. The Demon felt a tear fall on his cheek as his husband cried softly, “I love you so much and I just want us to be us.”

“I love you too baby,” Dean’s eyes had misted just because he couldn’t stand to see his best friend was in so much agony. “Just a few more years, and then we’ll get our boat and just sail away.” Dean kissed the dream all over Cas’s face.

It had been an idea started long ago. It had really started as a joke, Cas picked up Dean from his job and complained about Bartholomew fucking Milton and Dean pointed to a calendar in the garage. Ash always wanted naked lady (and dude Ash was not picky) calendars but Bobby had refused. So Ash went out and got “Landscape Porn” as he called it.

“We’re gonna go there,” he pointed and Cas cocked his head.

“The pleasure garden? Open pole night on Tuesdays?”

“No,” Dean laughed, “There,” he pointed to the calendar between all the strip club fliers.

“I don’t know where that is,” and Dean just had to lean in and kiss the adorable all over his boyfriend’s face.

“No, not there _there_ but we’re gonna do that. Buy a boat and sail the world, just us.”

Cas beamed softly. “Just us.” And now it was a balm. Every bad moment, every bad day, every time the cuff burned or the white wings stung they murmured about their boat.

Despite that Cas had become a bit…obsessed with everything sailing. He memorized random facts, decorated their apartments with paintings of the sea, Dean even caught him sneaking in a bottle full of sand. When he asked where the sand had come from he wanted to marry the dude right then and there when Cas looked at his toes and said the sandbox from the park down the block. He pouted when Dean made him throw it out, but Dean was _not_ having dirty public sand in their home. So a promise was made.

“I will fill this bottle,” Dean knelt at Cas’s feet. “This and any other you find, with sand from all over the world.” So a challenge was made.

Dean started noticing empty bottles appearing on shelves. When more and more appeared he full on tackled his soul mate and went into a bit of a heat himself.

“The boat,” Cas sighed and he buried himself in Dean’s neck. “Tell me about it.”

“It will be made of dark teak so the silver finishes will sparkle. At night we’ll lay on a blanket and make love under the stars.” Cas fell asleep listening to his husband’s voice and dreamed of stars and the gentle rock of a boat.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...yeah I am back at this. Life has been full of a ton of changes, but I feel like I have successfully written myself out of this hole and I'm ready to be back. I have a good plan so I don't think I should be this long in updating again.

Cas chewed idly at a fingernail as he shook in anticipation. Dean needed to get here now. A few more feathers fell from his ebony wings and Cas kept looking out the window for Dean’s pickup. Why the hell his husband had to schedule a meeting that forced Cas to arrive at the cabin early he would never know, but then again the molt wasn’t supposed to start for another few hours.

He growled when he heard the roar of a diesel engine and he was out the door and shoving his husband into the pickup before Dean was fully out of the cab.

“You started early,” Dean rumbled and Cas just bit his lips. Cas grabbed the cuff and threw it far behind him in the dirt and the two started testing out their strength by pushing against one another. Their lips continued to frantically eat the other down as hands shoved shoulders and fingers bruised hips.

It was soon a knock down drag out fight and the winner would be topping.

And as the molt screamed for Cas to bury himself and breed his mate up, the angel was holding nothing back. And his demon husband matched him ounce for ounce in strength.

They fell into the ground and the smell of dirt and the tang of blood threw them into a frenzy and before they knew it they were clawing at backs and asses to get close and grinding. Black wings shook in anticipation and Cas distracted Dean by gnawing on his lips and shoving grace lubed fingers in his ass.

“Oh you play dirty, angel,” black eyes winked and Dean threw his head back and howled as Cas’s long fingers played around his prostate. The demon wiggled his hips around and made all the noises he knew would drive his angel to plow into him.

And as always they worked like a charm. Cas growled deep in the back of his throat and used grace to finish Dean’s stretch. The demon groaned and the angel grunted when he bottomed out and Dean buried his fingers in molting wings and Cas let out an inhuman noise and snapped his hips. They kissed and Cas felt his ass get scratched raw as Dean gripped tight and refused to let go.

Cas’s molt didn’t allow for long sessions and really just demanded for Cas to breed his mate as much as he could. Which meant that Cas came about three times before Dean’s head was thrown back and the demon was coming hard and long between them.

“Spectacular as always,” Dean nodded his head at Cas. Or at least he nodded as much as he could as they were still lying in the dirt.

“Now I remember why we always rent this cabin by a lake.” Cas ruffled his wings and more feathers fell. Dean would groom him when the new feathers came in, but now it didn’t matter how dirty the wings got. “Did you bring food?” Cas yawned and kissed one of the large bruises on Dean’s arm.

“I thought we could go fishing,” Dean ran his fingers through the thinning feathers. 

Cas groaned loudly, “You say that every time,” he grunted when he got up, “And every time we never get out on the lake because my heat comes up.”

“Oh is that what we’re calling it?” Dean giggled and light fingers tickled Cas’s cock. “Seems like your _heat_ comes up quite often sweetheart.”

“Fuck off,” Cas grunted.

“Oh that’s how it is?” Dean teased and Cas’s face broke into a silly grin.

“That’s how it is.”

“Fine, finish your heat by yourself, I’m going fishing.” Dean rolled away and started to run toward the lake with an angel hot on his heels.

Cas brought him down at the edge of the lake and they rutted like mud people getting filthy in their fast and frantic fuck.

Cas was much slower in the lake as he washed his love and husband gently. When he entered Dean they both sighed as the water lapped around them in soft but strong waves.

“You were kidding about the fishing, right?” they finally had made it into the cabin and Cas had just finished using his power to light a fire in the large grate.

“Course not,” Dean kissed the side of Cas’s face loudly as he pulled groceries out of paper bags. “I never kid about fish,” he wiggled the packs of precut salmon at Cas who laughed.

“You are such an ass.”

“But I’m your ass.” Dean looked over and saw Cas coming up to him. “I’m your ass,” he murmured as Cas kissed him tenderly.

“You’re my ass.”

They stayed for a week, Cas’s heat only lasted about four days but both had vacation time saved up so they vacationed and forgot the world and lived in a tiny bubble of perfect bliss.

“We could stay here,” Dean murmured as he kissed the back of Cas’s wings. He was straddling his husband’s thighs and doing the deep clean grooming that lasted about four hours and one that Dean only did about once every other month. He filled his fingers with oil and would slick up each individual feather and by the end Cas was a puddle.

“I want to,” Cas turned his head slightly so he could see Dean. “I can’t tell you how badly I want to just stay here.”

“But,” Dean murmured and Cas’s wings drooped in sadness.

“We have responsibilities.” Cas finished. They were silent for the remaining hour and a half as Dean finished grooming.

“Just think of our boat.” Dean slipped down under Cas’s wing and snuggled in deep with his husband. “A few more years and we’ll sail away and never think about anything but each other again.”

“Ok,” Cas sighed and kissed Dean tenderly. “Will you promise me something?” They’d fallen into their familiar habit since Cas had presented, they were cocooned away from the world under Cas’s wing and whispering soft with each other.

“Yeah?”

“Promise me that we will, we will sail away.” Cas’s eyes watered slightly, “I need you to swear to me that we will both get on that sailboat and sail away together.” Dean leaned toward Cas and kissed him ever so gently.

“I swear.”

***

“Cas,” Dean crooned in his husband’s ear. “Cas…”

“You better have a damn fucking good reason for waking me up before dawn.” Cas growled and pulled his wing up over his head. Dean laughed and he heard an irritated noise.

“Happy birthday,” Dean murmured and kissed Cas’s skin where he could. He was wacked in the face with a wing and he laughed even harder. Cas’s feathers ruffled in indignation and Dean rolled away from the bed.

It was lightly snowing out and Dean went to the kitchen to make breakfast. He laughed again when arms and wings came around his torso.

“I really hate you right now.” Dean laughed at the deep grumble rubbing its face in his back.

“I’m making strawberry chocolate pancakes.”

“I don’t hate you as much.”

Dean brought the breakfast back to their bed and Cas wiggled in and they both ate in comfortable silence born of twenty five years of being best friends and in love with one another.

“Happy birthday,” Dean said softly and kissed the side of Cas’s face.

“Happy birthday to you too,” Cas returned the kiss. When Cas was found it was February and the doctors guessed he was between a month and two weeks old but they couldn’t pin it down to an exact date. Dean knew Cas hated celebrating his birthday on the day he was found because it just reminded him of things he wanted to forget.

So when they ran away Dean said that Cas didn’t need to hold on to what his birth certificate or anyone else said. Cas could pick whatever day he wanted as his birthday.

Naturally Cas picked to share with Dean. He worried Dean might resent him from taking his birthday away but yet again he’d underestimated his love. Dean got teary and said he was honored to share with Cas.

“What are your two?” Dean cleared the tray away and snuggled back in bed. When their first birthday came around Dean said to celebrate they would both pick two activities so neither would feel guilty about taking time from the other. They both kept their choices secret and the only stipulation was that the activities had to be couple things and not sex (they already were going to have birthday sex for a week anyway).

“Mmm, I want to go to the aquarium and I got us tickets for a wine and painting class.” Dean chuckled.

“I can’t promise I won’t paint something dirty,” Cas giggled.

“Me too,” they kissed. “What’s your two?”

“Simple,” Dean shrugged, “Arcade and I got us late dinner reservations,” Cas grinned.

“Sounds perfect.” He rolled Dean on his back and started to kiss down his husband’s chest. “How about we,” he kissed each nipple and then started laving them with his tongue. “Go to the aquarium,” he kissed down and left a long, wet trail. “Then the arcade,” he flicked his tongue playfully in Dean’s navel. “Our painting class is from three to seven,” he mouthed down Dean’s happy trail and smirked as his demon panted. “And you reservations…?”

“Oh hell I have no reservations, you just keep on keeping on, baby,” Dean rubbed Cass scalp.

“Mmm I intend to, but I was asking about our table you reserved for us…”

“Oh it’s at eight.”

“Perfect,” Cas moved down and licked the long heat of Dean’s extremely interested cock.

***

“Dean!” Cas pointed at the giant stingray and Dean fell harder in love. He highly doubted that he was going to be able to love Cas any more than he already did, but wow he loved this dork of an angel. The love was so strong that it even made up for the giant white wings Cas was sprouting because they were out in public.

They walked through the tunnels where shoals of fish swam around them and Dean got rewarded with a knockout smile from his husband when he pointed out a gigantic turtle. They went through the shark tunnel and Cas ooed and awwed at the huge predators and they just lost themselves with their hands intertwined.

Dean got a little plushy shark for Cas at the gift shop and he fell even more in love the way Cas hugged it and then kissed him.

The arcade was incredibly fun Cas was terrible at arcade games even though he took them so seriously. Dean chose some form of arcade every year just because he found his husband was just too cute when he lost spectacularly at everything he tried.

They got sweaty doing the dancing squares and then Cas cheated like a bandit when they got on the plastic bikes to race. He kept nudging Dean with his wings and every time Dean called him on it he looked overly innocent and claimed that he had no control over his wings and that his wings naturally wanted to be near their mate. To which Dean called bullshit.

Cas took all their tickets and got Dean a gigantic inflatable baseball bat.

“Do I get to hit you with it?” Dean whacked Cas over the head and Cas retaliated by knocking Dean down with his wing. “Hey not fair it’s my birthday!”

“It’s my birthday too!” Cas laughed and they held hands again and walked out to the car to get to their painting class.

Yeah…so painting class was…well they didn’t get kicked out which Dean thought that was only because they weren’t trying hard enough.

They were _supposed_ to paint a bowl of fruit. And Dean at least did that and painted some fruit. Now if the banana and apples just lined up to look like…well don’t stretch your imagination to think of what they looked like, and it wasn’t Dean’s fault it was the angle of the bowl that he saw, whatever.

Cas painted a stain glass window.

Of a penis.

Dean lost it when they got to see their paintings and the woman in charge of the class refused to let either of them get their picture taken with the group due to their “juvenile paintings” but Cas and Dean could hardly care, they were too much in love.

“I think we should hang these in the hall.” Dean teased and Cas beamed.

“I agree.”

Dinner was in an underground cave, Dean had a knack for finding unusual restaurants and this was no exception. They were in their own little grotto complete with hot tub in the floor.

They ate at the little table and as soon as the waitress delivered their food she closed off the grotto to give them privacy and they stripped and shared dessert in the hot tub.

“Best birthday ever,” Cas sighed deeply and snuggled into their bed.

“Hell yeah,” they didn’t mention that this might be their last birthday, that their future was so uncertain, that they could be anywhere next year.

***

“Sir we have inserted one hundred percent of the chips we need for takeover.” An angel looked at a group of angels in suits. She pulled up a display on the large screen, it was a map of the United States and it was completely covered in red dots.

“Start up the conversion,” one of the angels commanded. She started to type frantically and the red dots slowly started to turn blue.

“Fifty percent conversion,” the angel continued to type, “Seventy eight percent…ninety…one hundred percent converted,” the red dots had all turned to blue.

“Type in the orders.” The angel typed again and a message appeared on the board.

_Kill your non-angel partner. Report to your nearest headquarters._

***

When Cas opened his eyes he felt no emotion. Everything was switched off and he didn’t see Dean’s face in front of him. Well he saw Dean’s face but it didn’t compute with him. He didn’t realize that who he was looking at was the love of his life. There was just no emotion. He was a blank slate waiting for his orders.

“Cas?” Dean looked at his blank husband and Cas looked at him so detached and so much like a stranger. Cas could see a green script in his vision and it gave him specific instructions.

Without hesitation he pulled out his angel blade and sunk it deep in Dean’s chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah you are all so happy that I'm back, right?! I can feel nothing but love.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So because I cannot be happy with just one thing going and I have to have five, I have started a blog. Now I'm not saying I'm going to hold characters hostage if you don't go and visit my blog, but if you were interested in seeing the more nonfiction side of my life you can scoot on over there.
> 
> Here's the address and if I see you there, thanks for the support!  
> https://asixyearwait.wordpress.com/

Castiel walked out of the apartment, his wing hit several glass bottles, shattering them to the floor, but he hardly noticed. Two angels were waiting for him on the other side of the front door one held a clipboard and marked up.

“James Novak,” the angel made a notation, she had soft gold wings and her gaze held the same emotionless stare as Cas. “Spouse, Andrew Novak, Unassigned, status?”

“Dispatched,” Cas stood at attention and waited for the angels to check his work in the bedroom.

“Andrew Novak, deceased.” The angel made a note in her clipboard. “James report to your new dwelling and headquarters at seventy fifth and Broadway.”

“Thank you, sister.” Castiel nodded and walked off.

The streets were filled with emotionless Angels, some had blood on their hands, and some walked close to one another but they all shared that same blank, robotic look. They wordlessly followed the same path to a group of large Angel buildings, previously where angels had worked and now was the site of the Host. Castiel entered in a long line and waited patiently for his turn to walk through the metal doors to await his dwelling number and job assignment.

Off to the side there were several angel men in suits watching over the progress with proud grins. They looked incredibly pleased with themselves and they were the only ones in the room with any expression or emotion at all.

“James!” Dick waved the angel over and Castiel walked numbly up. “Michael you remember James Novak, he worked in our finance department but his field test scores were off the charts. I believe he would make a good leader of a squadron in the Host.” Michael’s grey eyes roamed slowly over Castiel’s blank face and he looked with approval.

“Welcome to the Host, brother. As we angels are the far superior species and tonight we have amassed enough strength to take over and rule. Most of the demons will now have been taken care of but those that live through tonight will need to be dealt with.”

“Disposed of?” Castiel said flatly.

“Not necessarily,” Michael gave a cruel smirk. “We have need for menial labor. The thought of angels working in factories,” he laughed at the insane idea. “But all demons must be tagged and registered. And we need a series of squadrons to keep the demons in line.”

“And you wish for me to run one of these squadrons?”

“Well let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Michael chuckled, “But I like your ambition. Now James I have a few questions to ask you,” Michael looked over at Dick, “You dispatched an unassigned named,” he looked at his port screen, “Andrew Novak?”

“Yes.” Castiel’s voice was like his answers, flat and to the point.

“And this man was your husband for…”

“Six years.”

“And how long have you known him?”

“Eight years.”

“And how did you feel when you killed him?”

“I…” Cas faltered. “I am not sure I understand.” His brow furrowed and he looked like a robot facing an unsolvable problem. “Why…should I feel?”

“No, but think hard, James, you shared your bed and life and love with this man for eight years. He shared his coffee with you and you had eight anniversaries. You brought him to Christmas parties and kissed him under the mistletoe. What did you feel when you killed him?”

“I…I didn’t…” Castiel’s façade broke and he looked confused and frustrated, “I did what I was ordered to do, I don’t have feelings toward it.”

“None at all?” Michael wheedled.

“None at all, was I supposed to…feel?” Castiel looked as if he had failed in his orders.

“That’s fine James,” Michael saved him, “Let me show you to your dwelling. We find it’s far safer if we are all in one place, don’t you agree?”

“I’m sure the Host has planned every detail to the highest quality for angels,” Castiel replied mechanically.

“Very well said!” Michael clapped Castiel on the shoulder. “James I think this will be the beginning of an unforgettable era. Remember this moment forever, my friend, this was the moment the angels came to power.”

And what an era it was.

Castiel became famous in the Host as a ruthless killer, he rose up the ranks quickly and headed up three squadrons within the first year of the Host taking over. He was so successful that he gained the nickname the Host’s Attack Dog, but if you asked what his opinion of the nickname was all you were met with was a blank glare and “Whatever the Host deems my name should be is best.”

He parroted the Host’s lines perfectly and even if his black inked 6 wasn’t the highest number he showed great potential and raw power. He also was incredibly willing to learn anything the Host set forward, and he was so accepting of all the Host’s procedures that he was the perfect angel.

***

“Ahh James,” Michael purred. Michael never recognized his old foster brother, he was so power hungry and cruel that he rose even faster and higher than Castiel. He was the third highest angel in the Host despite his lower number.

He also kept it deep in the closet that he greatly enjoyed sex.

It really didn’t matter the gender of the partner but for the last year he had preferred Castiel. The problem was was that the Host set out a strict no sex, no mating, outside of molting, policy. The Host prided themselves on being as detached as possible, two thirds of them had an implant in their brains when they went in for initial testing.

Castiel was in the early batches, the implant was inserted just behind the ear and early angels with the chip had symptoms like memory loss, speech impediments, seizures, and extreme sickness at the time of the implant. They were more successful in the later generations and now nearly twenty years later they had millions of angels in their power.

Older angels quickly sided with the Host, it was either side with the Host or die. There was no room for sympathy in this new world.

Some of the higher ups, like Michael, had the chip but it wasn’t switched on, when the chip was on impulses and personal control were completely destroyed, the angel would do whatever was ordered of them.

Including killing their non-angel spouses.

“James, assume the position,” Michael smirked and Castiel walked over to the desk. He removed his clothing mechanically, folded them, and placed them on the chair. “As always I appreciate your work,” Michael reached down and stroked Castiel’s hard cock. Michael bent himself over the desk and spread his dirty, grey wings out. “I expect exemplary work from you.”

Castiel used his grace to coat his fingers and he mechanically opened Michael up. If anyone were to look in and just see Castiel they would think he was filling his car with gas or hanging a picture, the mundane ordinariness was written all over his face. Castiel had proven to be the perfect robot and Michael used him time and time again because he knew if he told Castiel that this was all for the good of the Host Castiel would bend over backwards to do it right.

After spending exactly fifteen minutes opening Michael up, Castiel also couldn’t be bothered with moans or grunts, he only responded when Michael commanded him to slow down or speed up, Castiel slicked himself up and slid inside the high ranking angel. His thrusts were mechanical and even, and if anyone were to time him they would find that each thrust lasted exactly seven seconds and hit the exact same spot within Michael.

And Michael hardly noticed, he was huffing, panting, and moaning on the desk and only broke enough to order Castiel to change something.

“Grab my hips,” his hips were grabbed.

“Stroke my wing with one hand,” it was done.

“Oh fuck I’m going to come,” Michael arched up and his cum splattered on the desk. Castiel pulled away immediately and began to dress again. Michael flopped on the desk and didn’t say anything until Castiel stood at attention.

“I want you to spend your time on this new band of renegades, they call themselves the JS, stupid name for anything if you ask me.”

“I agree,” that was another reason why Michael chose Castiel as his favorite, Castiel agreed with everything he said. “Will there be an information packet?”

“I will have a One drop it off at your dwelling. Good night, brother, excellent work as always.” Castiel gave a half bow and walked out to his dwelling.

Over the past year all the angels had moved into one massive complex in the center of the city. There were seven skyscrapers interconnected with tunnels and skywalks and used for both the angel’s work and dwellings. Michael’s office was on the two hundred and seventh floor and Castiel’s dwelling was on the one hundred and fiftieth. He rode the elevator down and then placed his hand against his dwelling door.

The dwelling itself was clinical down to the crisp bedsheets that were folded immaculately. The dwelling had a bed, a table, one chair, and a bathroom. Food was delivered in a chute every morning and evening and dirty dishes were deposited in the same chute.

Castiel went to the bathroom and showered, Michael had summoned him right when he had come back from patrol and while the blood was graced away he still felt dirty. Michael had told him that the Host almost didn’t install bathrooms in the dwellings but then they realized that not every angel was powerful enough to clean themselves or empty their bowels.

Castiel cleaned himself and his wings and when he left the shower food was waiting for him. It was nothing spectacular, it was fuel to get him through the night and then he would get fuel again at breakfast. He ate just as he fucked Michael, mechanically.

Once the food was gone he picked up a study a Seven just published on different techniques to minimalize animal instincts during molting. It was dry reading, but the science was fascinating and at exactly nine Castiel stripped down to sleep pants and got into his clinically clean bed to sleep for nine hours.

***

“Thank you sister,” Castiel nodded to the One who dropped a packet on his desk. He worked on the one hundred seventy eighth floor in a grid of about a hundred cubicles his desk was immaculate, like his dwelling, and he opened the packet just as he swiped at his hover screen to start a new file.

This group, the JS, was yet another group of renegade freedom fighters. It seemed so far their base had been difficult to locate, and their leaver even harder to pin down. It seemed black hoods with black scarves were the fashion, when any of them were caught on camera that was. They were incredibly hard to pin down except for their logo. It was a slender black oval with the initials JS stamped on either side. It was tagged at every place the JS hit, angel patrols, food depository’s, factories where the unassigned and demons were used as slave labor, and anywhere that weapons could be found.

They were smart and elusive, but nothing that Castiel hadn’t handled before. In his year as the Host’s attack dog Castiel had taken care of and killed several rebels. He gained fame in one of the early battles by taking out twenty on his own, and his squadron was one of the most ruthless in the Host.

After the early battles and rebellions were taken care of small groups would try and fight for bread or basic wages but Castiel was sent in and after that everything was neutralized.

But this…Castiel allowed himself a small feeling of anticipation, this was going to be different. The JS posed an actual problem, a puzzle to be solved. They would take brain power and skill to catch and if Castiel allowed himself he would feel excited about the work at hand. This wasn’t going to be the simple task of finding bread thieves and dispatching them, this was an organization filled with cunning and intelligence.

He rolled his shoulders and started work.

***

Two years.

It had been two years since Castiel was first given the brief from Michael on the JS. And if Castiel allowed himself any emotion it would be sheer frustration at the lack of progress in the file. At every turn the JS were one step ahead of Castiel and his squadron. Oh they captured some, killed many, but the whole outfit was as elusive as quicksilver.

And it hadn’t been for lack of trying. Castiel had memorized thousands of blueprints of anywhere and everywhere the JS could be. He spent countless hours pacing in his cubicle and dwelling trying to figure out just where these renegades could be hiding.

He also wondered who their leader was.

It was a man. That was for certain. Though he kept his head completely covered Castiel could tell he was muscular and reminded him of absolutely no one he’d ever met in his life. Which of course frustrated Castiel to no end, if he allowed himself to become emotional, as he had read through millions of files on known criminals before and after the Host’s rise to power.

But finally they had caught a break. Castiel had been nearly laughed out of Michael’s office when he suggested using unassigned agents, but after implanting a version of the angel’s chip the agents were incredibly successful. Castiel himself had followed and spoken through the unassigned getting deep in the underground of the JS. The angels had found an abandoned university compound out past the city lines where the JS were holed together and Castiel had allowed himself thirty seconds of pride when Dick and Michael both congratulated him.

“We have found the settlement of the JS is here,” Castiel pointed at a block of ruins. “We have no definite building, but with our unassigned agents we have narrowed it down to this block,” Castiel nodded to each of the angels he handpicked for this recon mission. “I do not wish to engage in a battle, this is purely to gain information. However,” Castiel looked out at the crowd of angels, “If we are attacked we will attack back, and I have picked this squadron because we are the elite and finest fighters the Host has ever seen.” With that Castiel outlined their plan. They would sneak in under the cover of dark and come at all sides to take out the rebel base.

Castiel rode in silence with his angels out about a mile from the compound. They would take the rest of the way silently on foot so as to better gain the element of surprise. Angels didn’t believe in armor, if you were a level four or higher you could heal yourself and Castiel’s hand picked group were all sixes or higher. Armor made you cumbersome and it was hard to fight in so every angel had dressed in dark clothes and their wings were made as dark as possible. Castiel had a large black fabric he would throw over his wings while he was hiding and then throw off when it came time to fight.

They walked silently with their guns and angel blades unholstered and open at their sides. Each angel had been meticulously drilled by Castiel so that every single one knew exactly where they were supposed to be and go without a word from their leader.

After a half hour everyone was in place and Castiel started to look around.

The university must have been grand when it was in use. But now buildings were crumbling and faded banners of blue and silver were crushed in the mud. It was a perfect hide away for a base, Castiel had to admit, it was quiet, there were hundreds of places to hide, and each building had a perfect vantage point of the central area which innocently lay in the moonlight.

Castiel’s keen eyesight told him there were several hidden JS in different windows and he shifted closer to get a better look.

Everything had been going according to plan, until several sharp gunfire sounds ripped the air apart and loud voices started shouting.

Castiel knew it was a side group of angels, they were the most inexperienced of the group and he had debated a long time bringing them in. And now he had his answer, either the fools had been seen and shot at, or they had spotted some JS members and shot at them without thought. Either way the JS were on high alert and it didn’t take them long to spot the rest of Castiel’s squadron.

“Angels engage!” Castiel shouted and the dark night was showered with sparks of red and blue as angel blade and gun went off. Castiel aimed his rifle and shot at a sniper in a window and the figure fell headfirst out the window.  Castiel was about to shoot again when he felt the presence of three figures behind him.

One grabbed at his wings and ripped hard while another threw what felt like a rock at his arm. Castiel felt his arm give way but nothing stopped him. He spun and kicked the figure holding his wing down and the man grunted in pain when his knee was kicked out. Castiel laid a calculated blow on the man’s head and he went down like a sack of flour.

Whirling around Castiel set his sights on the second black figure, she was lithe and an angel blade sparked in her fingers.

“It’s rude to steal,” Castiel admonished and just as he was about to lunge at her she threw the blade. It didn’t land in his chest but did slice open his side with a considerable gash. Before he could heal it the third figure, which Castiel had forgotten about, came up behind and brought a rock down on the back of his head. The world dimmed as the ground swelled up to swallow him and then it all went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple of things, I hope this chapter wasn't too rushed. I feel like I spent so much time on the backstory and then when it came to this I'm rushing. Please let me know and I'll slow it down a bit. 
> 
> Second, I'm really bad at fight writing. I'm sorry if it feels chunky and slow, I'm working on it and hopefully in the future it'll feel a bit more natural.
> 
> Third, please go and visit my blog! I promise I won't hold characters hostage, but I feel like I need to start something new because I'm just feeling really...stuck right now. I'm happy and content, but I feel like I have nothing to show for it, and because it's so awesome to write for you amazing people I thought a more nonfiction look at my life would be good. No obligations on your part but I just wanted to put it out there.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am writing, but I am now starting yet another really long piece and I'm also knitting a sweater that I've wanted to knit for six years now. The idea of knitting this sweater got me through my lowest point so I'm really enjoying it and because of that my writing has gone down a bit. But here's the new chapter!

Cas woke wearily, he was laying on his side and a black bag was over his head. He didn’t move but just calmly assessed his injuries. His wings were bruised, feathers at odd angles, but _thankfully_ nothing broken. He could feel a long gash at his side, his shirt felt wet far beyond the edges of the cut so that meant he’d been bleeding for…an hour? He shifted slightly to feel the edges of the blood. An hour, more precisely 47 minutes. His hands were cuffed together behind his back and the way they lay in the cuffs he knew his wrist was broken. His eye felt swollen but at least his jaw was intact.

He flapped his wings so he could kneel and he froze completely. He even stopped breathing for a moment as he listened. The room his was in was large. There was a dripping tap in the corner and the echoes bounced off the far corners. It was cold, cement? He took a deep breath in. Cement. Near the docks. His mind took two seconds to go through the list of properties that he’d looked at a few weeks ago.

Warehouse, near the docks.

The JS.

He froze slightly when he heard footsteps coming near. A metal door opened and three pairs of feet came in. They circled him slowly and he followed each with his head.

“He must be pretty powerful if he can follow us,” someone murmured. Male.

“He can hear dumbass,” the Angel muttered. The footsteps froze and he could hear guns shifting. Two of the figures watched the Angel warily but the third…that third was the darkest, blackest of all. His eyes were terrifying as they looked at the figure kneeling, a look that could only be read as hatred. He flicked at the white feathers with his gun and the Angel jumped. He tilted his head in the direction of the door and the other men left quickly. Why their leader wanted alone time with a prisoner they didn’t want to know.

He circled slowly but this time the head under the bag didn’t follow him. He was completely frozen, as if he knew this person with him was the most dangerous of them all. He was terrified of the man slowly circling him as if Cas was a mouse that the cat had been playing with and was now about to go in for the kill.

“I should bend you over and impale you to the wall,” the voice was black and made of pure sludge and darkness. Cas blinked when the bag was slowly pulled off his head.

His husband’s black eyes held a glaring smirk as he knelt in front of Cas.

“Hi honey, I’m home,” Cas breathed and Dean huffed a laugh.

***

_“Dean Winchester?” Dean rose nervously and tried to walk confidently through the lobby. He’d just kissed Cas and he tried not to be terrified. When he dropped his boyfriend off at this place months ago Cas had gone from normal to…well nothing was wrong with him, but the dude could barely speak. Dean had had too many nights comforting his boyfriend back into sleep after nightmares nearly woke the entire neighborhood with his screams. He had a hard time stringing a sentence together even when it was just him and Dean. He was getting better, but whatever happened to him happened in this place._

_“Dean?”_

_“Luc?” Instantly Dean’s fears were gone. Cas’s foster brother stood before him, he’d graduated high school two years ago, but had interned here for at least two years during high school._

_“Hey Dean, so you finally presented?” the teen nodded, “How’s Chuck? And Cas?” Dean tried to give him an odd look. Lucifer had been home two weekends ago for Thanksgiving…_

_“Um…Lucifer you were—”_

_“Well good, good that’s good to hear.” Lucifer said loudly. They had made their way through the hallways until they were in a small room. As soon as the door closed Lucifer pulled out a small device and set it on the table. His entire posture changed and he turned on Dean._

_“Ok we only have two days. I’m going to do all that I can for you.”_

_***_

_Dean looked at the blinking 9 on the screen._

_“Really?” Lucifer nodded. “I’m a 9? Like Cas?” he got excited but was punctured by the look on Lucifer’s face. “Luc what is it?”_

_“Dean have you ever wondered why you’ve never seen a Demon over a level 5?” the man Dean grew up with looked at him hard._

_“Well there’re stories…”_

_“No. Not stories. Seen in the flesh a demon, a_ young _demon over a 5,” Dean shook his head. “There’s a reason.” Lucifer said quietly. “We’re supposed to kill you,” Dean jumped up in fear._

_He watched in fascination as Luc rose and fiddled with a few instruments on the wall. The 9 on the screen changed to a 5. Lucifer looked hard at him._

_“You can’t tell a soul about this.” Dean nodded._

_***_

_“He told me everything.” Dean whispered. They were in his bed and he’d even pulled Cas’s wings around them to create a wall of protection. “They experimented on you, some kind of early mind control. They put a chip in your brain, and once they flip a switch you and all the other Angels will be activated.”_

_“A-activated?” Cas breathed. He was terrified and shaking. His wings trembled. “Wh-what’s g-g-going to h-ha-happen to-to you?” Dean kissed him gently._

_“I tell you that there’s a chip in your brain that gives total control of you to someone else and the first thing you worry about is me?” Cas nodded, his voice completely gone. “Well my first thought is_ you _.” He twined their legs together and massaged Cas’s skin. “Lucifer said there was this underground guy…he can get rid of…Luc said he didn’t know how successful the procedure was…”_

_“We have time,” Cas said slowly, “Right?” Dean nodded._

_“Yeah, Luc said there’d be years before they chipped enough Angels. I don’t know why though…”_

_“They’re building,” Cas breathed hard, “An army.” Dean’s stomach dropped._

_***_

_“Something has to be done,” Cas murmured into Dean’s chest after a most spectacular finish._

_“Something has been done, we ran away.” Dean kissed his boyfriend’s sweaty head._

_“That’s not what I m-mean.” Cas sighed. “Done,” he tapped his forehead._

_“You wanna have the operation?” Cas nodded._

_“But that’s not all…” he sighed. “All the others.” Dean’s eyes bugged._

_“You wanna save them all?_ All _the angels?” Cas nodded. “But—but that’s impossible. Things are fine the way they are.”_

_“With registration for Demons, that Bill for a Cuff for all unassigned…” It was a passion Cas had become obsessed with. “It’s not fair Dean, Angels aren’t any better than Demons or the unassigned. We all are equal but everyone, all the laws being passed are making anyone who isn’t an Angel a second class citizen.”_

_“Ok, ok!” Dean laughed a bit, “You know when you get up on your soap box there’s no stopping you.” He kissed Cas’s nose. “Ok,” he breathed, “We’ll do something.”_

_***_

_“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Dean cried as Cas screamed._

_“Don’t stop,” Cas moaned, and Dean poured the bleach on more of the feathers. Cas screamed louder and blood poured from his hands where his nails bit in. Dean was bawling and he couldn’t stand to pour any more bleach on the beautiful black wings._

_It was easier when they started. Cas flinched as the tips of his feathers were turned white by the bleach, but as they got closer and closer to the base of his wings the pain became indescribable. Dean nearly ran away when the first scream ripped through his best friend but Cas begged him continue._

_When they were finally done they both lay, trembling, on the ground. Cas was beyond making noises, but Dean was still sobbing._

_After a while Cas crawled over and gently petted Dean’s face._

_“I’m sorry, m-m-my love,” he shook and Dean wrapped his arms around him._

_“Please don’t ask me to do that again.”_

_“Ok,” Cas kissed all over Dean’s face, “Ok, I wo-won’t make yo-yo-you do that again.” Dean sighed._

_“I’m sorry,” he murmured, he brushed his fingers over the white wings and Cas cringed._

_“It’s ok,” Cas kissed again, this time harder and his tongue slipped into Dean’s mouth. He pulled them both up so Dean was sitting and Cas crossed his legs around his boyfriend’s waist. He wrapped his arms around Dean and they kissed tenderly. Both were too emotionally exhausted to move farther and so they left the four empty bleach bottles and curled into one another in the cabin._

_“We’ll have to turn your 9 into something lower,” Dean traced the black 9 on Cas’s wrist. Cas nodded, “6? Can you pull off a 6? Would that be more inconspicuous?” Cas nodded and waved his hand. He gritted his teeth as the number flipped itself. Dean kissed and licked at the new number._

_***_

_“So I was thinking of a name.”_

_“N-name? We have names. Jimmy Novak and Andrew Smith.” His boyfriend shook his head with a playful look. Cas knew that look all too well. It was a look that meant their conversation was going to go down to oh, oh, oh, and right there, right there, right there._

_“No I mean names,” Dean kissed at Cas’s shoulder and moved to his nipple._

_“What did you have in m-mind?” Dean pulled away and looked like that joyful five year old Cas fell in love with._

_“For the uprising, it has to be bad ass and something cool and shit.”_

_“Ok…” Cas didn’t know what his boyfriend was leading up to._

_“Jefferson Starships.” Dean beamed and Cas looked at him dryly. “What do you think?” He was a puppy in his eagerness._

_“I think it’s the dumbest name I’ve ever heard. Who names their revolution Jefferson Starships?”_

_“Hey they could be the JS that’s bad ass.” Dean protested, pinching his best friend’s side._

_“The JS…ooh the Justice Society! That sounds all Marvel._ That’s _bad ass.” Dean made a face. It was the same face he made when Cas suggested salad or anything green to eat._

_“The Justice Society? That sounds like a bunch of Power Rangers running around. Nope, Jefferson Starships.”_

_“No one is going to take you serious with a name like that.” Cas giggled at his fool of a soul mate._

_“Well no one’s gonna take a bunch of teenagers in colored leotards calling themselves the Justice Society either.” Dean said primly._

_“I think I’d like you in a leotard.” Cas reached down and cupped one of his favorite parts on Dean. “Especially here,” Dean laughed and rolled to tickle him._

_***_

_“I don’t want you to go,” Dean stared at his shoes._

_“Dean…” Cas cupped his face, “I’ll be fine, Lucifer said this man has gotten a lot better at his operation.” He leaned in and breathed into his boyfriend’s ear, “I’ll be fine.” Dean nodded._

_“Kiss me,” they kissed hard and Cas was the one to pull away._

_“I can’t, if I do I won’t,” he breathed hard, “Leave and I’ll m-miss my app-appointment.” He left and Dean curled into himself terrified of the outcome of the surgery._

_***_

_A doctor came out with the thumbs up. Cas stayed in the underground hospital for three days in a medical coma to allow his brain to heal around the hole carved out for the chip. Dean never left his side. he knew Cas was going to be fine, but all the mental problems…the doctor didn’t know if that was going to be cured. So Dean curled himself in an uncomfortable hospital chair and waited._

_“Hey stranger,” came a hoarse whisper._

_***_

_“This looks good,” Dean lay with his boyfriend in bed looking at applications. “It’s in New York, so we can stay here,” they looked around the shitty apartment, really big enough for their mattress and a few boxes of clothes and books. They could barely afford anything so the mattress was their only furniture. They ate on it, read, made love, everything revolved around that mattress on the floor._

_Cas made a face, “I wish I didn’t have to work at an Angel facility.”_

_“Come on babe, we agreed you’d break down the Angels from the inside and I’ll build up a revolution.” Cas rolled his eyes._

_“You get the easy job.”_

_“As if, none of these Demons will trust me.”_

_“_ As if? _Did you really use_ as if _?” Cas laughed and kissed Dean._

_“You used…as if…” Dean’s voice died as Cas ran a black wing up his naked back._

_***_

_“Dean!” Cas burst into their apartment, their second but still the mattress was on the floor and Dean was there, “Dean! They passed it!”_

_“Hey calm down,” Dean said softly. Cas was crying and hyperventilating, “Shhh,” Dean calmed him. He rubbed all over Cas’s body, ran his fingers through the black feathers. Cas quieted in his arms and hiccupped. “Now, tell me what’s wrong.”_

_“They passed the Cuff Law, all unassigned must go to the registration offices and get cuffed.”_

_“Hey I like jewelry.”_

_“It’s pure silver Dean,” they were quiet for a while._

_“Ok,” Dean rubbed firmer circles in his boyfriend’s back. “Ok, I can do it. I can line the cuff with some of my mojo and I’ll be fine.” Cas nodded. They’d been hiding Dean behind a mask of undetermined because it was safer these days to be undetermined than Demon._

_***_

_“It really zaps my power,” Dean said, he didn’t even bother playing with the cuff. Cas kissed and cooed and comforted him as he pulled the silver away with his powers._

_“Dean…” he whispered. The skin was raw and smelled putrid. The burns were deep and the angry red bubbled and hissed. Cas cried as he healed the deep, deep wounds slowly._

_“Don’t wear it again tonight, it’s Friday, don’t wear it all weekend.” Cas begged when Dean reached for the cuff again. “Let me work on it.”_

_“Ok,” Dean was weary. “Hey I said I liked jewelry.” Cas looked at him. “Do you like jewelry?” He held up a small, black box. Cas cried and snatched it away. He knocked Dean over and hugged him tight._

_“I think you like jewelry too.” Dean laughed._

_***_

_“I saw their plans,” Cas kissed on Dean’s chest. Like always they were comfortable, safe, and secreted away in their bed. Cas’s black wings were a dark canopy around them and Dean petted the black feathers softly._

_“It’s too dangerous, I don’t like when you take such a risk.” He thinned his mouth._

_“Do you want to know what I found out?” He smiled at his husband’s pout._

_“Yes,” Dean grunted._

_“They’re going to turn the switch and control all the Angels. It’ll be a new world order with the Angels in charge.” Dean nodded, it was a thought they’d both shared for a while. “There’s more…” Cas didn’t want to look up into his lover’s green eyes. “They want to get rid of all the Demons, or at least bring them down. Dean,” his voice was tiny._

_“Yeah?”_

_“In a month they’ll have the numbers to be able to take over.” Cas’s voice was full of terror._

_“Ok,” Dean held his husband tighter. “Ok, well we know ahead of time. I can get on the Underground and let them know when to go into hiding.” With Dean and several others they’d created an underground message of sorts. Dean would know exactly who to call and word would spread. For a few years now they’d been stocking up in a secret location that Cas didn’t even know where it was._

_“We knew this time would come,” Dean nosed at Cas’s face._

_“There’s one more thing,” Cas was trembling but he barreled through. “Anyone with a nonAngel spouse or partner will have to get rid of them. No distractions,” he repeated the words he read from the file he saw._

_“Oh.”_

_“Oh.” Cas buried his face in Dean’s wide chest and cried and cried. “You have to leave now. If you leave now then maybe I wouldn’t have to…I wouldn’t have to…”_

_“Hey, shhh,” Dean calmed the trembling wings. After a while Dean had gotten his husband to be quiet. “Cas…if, if I do…if we go through with this…”_

_“No. Dean no! Do you know what you’re asking me to do?” Cas looked up horrified._

_“Yeah but think about it. If you go through with it, there’d be no doubt about you. No one would question that your chip was gone. You could rise up the ranks and with me dead I could run the rebellion a whole lot easier since there’d be no record of me. Demons would trust me more too…” Cas nodded slowly. It all made sense but he couldn’t do it._

_“I can’t…”_

_“Baby, you can,” Dean kissed him hard. “If I can bleach your wings, you can kill me.” Cas rolled his eyes. “You can.” Dean was firm. “You can and you will, then I’ll raise up an army and after three years we’ll take on the Angels and then go off on our boat.”_

_“Our boat…” Cas said slowly._

_“Our boat, we’ll sail away and never meet another person the rest of our lives.” Cas still cried._

_“I can’t,” he whispered._

_“You can.” Dean affirmed._

_***_

_“Well I guess a good thing is that we know the chip is totally gone from your head.” Dean tried but it was no use. Cas was in a ball at the end of the bed. He’d come home that night and just curled himself into as tight a ball as possible._

_“It’s military training. None of them knew who they were anymore! They were just blank and, and_ nothing _!” Cas curled back into himself._

_“Ok, well just think about it, you’re there and you’re going to help them all. Just watch everything they’re doing and it’ll all help you get information on how to finish them off.” Cas nodded. He still wasn’t convinced._

_“They had us practicing on Level 1 Demons.” He barely whispered. Dean pressed his forehead to his husband’s cheek, sharing in his sorrow._

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“How am I going to keep a straight face while I’m torturing and killing_ people _?!”_

_“We’ll practice.” Dean said softly. “Both of us have the power to make a fake person, we’ll have you practice.” Cas nodded._

_***_

_“Dean,” Cas shook his husband’s arm. “Dean!”_

_“Wha—” he was stopped and fully awake when he saw the terror in his husband’s eyes. “Now?” he breathed. Cas nodded. He couldn’t exactly explain how he knew there were two Angels waiting outside the door. How they were waiting for him to kill his unassigned husband._

_“Dean I—” he stopped himself, “I love you,” he didn’t sob but his hot tears made it hard for him to see._

_“Hey,” Dean reached up and wiped the tears, “Don’t give them anything. Don’t give them this.” He swept one last time on Cas’s face. “Be a mask, and I’ll see you in three years.”_

_“Three years?”_

_“Three years.” Dean leaned forward and kissed his husband hard. “I love you and I’ll see you in three years.” He kissed again, bruising Cas’s lips. “Give them nothing.”_

_“Nothing.” Cas repeated. “I love you too.”_

_And he sank the blade down._

_One tear rolled down his cheek, the last he would shed for three years._

***

“I told you, I’d see you in three years.” Dean smirked. He caressed Cas’s face and the Angel flinched when he got to a bruise. Dean murmured an apology and instantly Cas was healed and he looked perfect. “Sorry I can’t do your clothes,” Dean said softly. “The others…they trust me, but James who is The Host’s attack dog…”

“I understand.” Dean continued to pet his face, his hair, his wings and Cas shuddered to be nearer. “Do you hate me?” He refused to look up to those perfect black eyes.

“Why would I hate you?”

“Because I killed you.” Dean laughed softly.

“Well obviously not,” he held Cas’s face harder. “Because I’m still here. You must have failed basic training or something. Leave it to me to fall in love with someone defective.” This time it was Cas’s turn to huff a laugh.

“So what do we do now?”

“Well everyone knows I have an Angel on the inside, because I have this.” He pulled a slender black feather out from under his shirt. It was on a white gold chain and looked beautiful. What looked even more beautiful was the gold wedding ring sitting next to the feather on the chain. “I think it’s time to show people your real feathers, baby.”

Cas tried.

He strained. He dug deep into the magic but it was like pulling a pull at a thread that had layers of skin grown around it. He fell forward and leaned heavily on Dean’s shoulder. The feathers trembled on his wings and Cas started hyperventilating in the effort. The pain and struggle was too much but he was willing to black out if his husband hadn’t stopped him.

“Hey it’s ok,” he said softly. The white feathers shook around him, “It’s ok, I will get them to trust you.” Cas huffed.

“Over confident,” Dean gave a small, genuine smile.

“’Course I am, got you to marry me didn’t I?”

“Over confidence at its greatest.” Cas murmured. They pulled away when they heard footsteps marching toward the door.

“I’m sorry I can’t be with you yet.” Dean sighed, Cas nodded.

“It’s ok, I’ll survive. Though,” he wiggled his wrists. Dean went around and undid them instantly. He saw red when Cas’s wrist hung limply at his arm but the Angel had it healed in moments. Both rose, Cas a little stiffly. “I will work on the spell for my wings.” Dean nodded.

“And I’ll work on everyone else.”

After an awkward moment he left closing the door behind him. Cas rushed to the door and heard his husband’s voice change to a tone of gruff impatience.

“Get him down to the prison. And if I see a single mark on that man I will personally take it out tenfold on you.”

“Don’t see why he’s so damn important.” There was a wet smack.

“I also don’t see you as running this camp either, but hey go ahead and tell me what to fucking do.” The voice mumbled something and Cas didn’t need to lean against the door to hear the yell.

“Really?! Why don’t I just hand over the rutting command to you while I’m at it! If I say he deserves some common decency then he deserves some common fucking decency!” there was a pause as another loud smack was heard. “Do I make myself clear?!”

“Yes sir.” Cas went back to his original spot and stood there. The door opened and a small Demon entered.

“Follow me,” he said curtly, brushing the auburn hair out of his eyes.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have nothing much to say except thanks for all the love and patience you all have had with me on this little fic!

The cell given to Cas wasn’t bad. It was freezing, underground, and had no windows. The only things were a rusty coffee can, a bed with just a dingy mattress and a steel door. Cas lit a fire in the corner with his powers and cleaned the bed with fresh blankets with a flick of his wrists. He turned off the naked bulb on the ceiling and with another swoosh of his wrists about thirty candles appeared and hung in the air. _Don Quixote_ appeared in his hands and he sat on the bed to read.

Every five minutes he dropped the book and tried his wings again. His powers he could use easy, no problem. But digging into his soul to get at that click that made his wings turn black was hard. Before he was always able to change his wings to black at night with his husband at his side, but after moving into that awful dwelling he knew he was being watched all the time so no changing. What terrified him the most was the last time he molted his wings came in white. No spell, the feathers just grew white.

What if he couldn’t change back?

“Bobby,” Dean dragged, “You gotta listen to me.”

“No, son, you have to listen to me. We got _James_ here. He’s high on the pecking tree, and I’m not talking Bill Clinton high I’m talking Willie Nelson high. They’re gonna come looking for him soon.”

“I know, but Bobby—”

“No but Bobby’s anything. We are going to either kill him or turn him loose and I’m not in the mood for untying ropes.”

“Robert Singer!” That stopped the old man.

“You pulling rank on me boy?” Dean crossed his arms and refused to back down.

“You said your piece and I’m gonna say mine. He’s my informant.”

“He’s your…” Bobby took a moment. The white wings, the squinty face…it seemed familiar.

“I’m sorry, I had to put a memory lock on you and the other mechanics so they wouldn’t recognize him as my…”

“Informant….”

“Husband.” Dean finished at the same time. He looked cautiously into Bobby’s eyes but the other man glared on. Then he just walked out with a gruff “We’re not finished” without a word.

Bobby made his way through the hallways of the JS. _Stupid ass name for anything_ he thought and he glared at the few new recruits who openly stared at him.

“What an Angel can’t want equality?” He barked and they were sent running.

He jerked his head at the guard. “Boss wants to see you.” The woman hurried off and Bobby rolled his eyes. Andrew, or _Drew_ as he wanted to be called was practically worshipped by these idiots.

“Candles? Really?” he walked into Cas’s room and made a face. “You look like you’re pooping.” He said to the Angel on the bed.

“I am not pooping, I’m trying to change my wings back.” Castiel tried again and still nothing. Bobby waited with an incredulous look on his face. He concentrated hard and suddenly the messy brown hair and the blue eyes squeezed shut in concentration clicked into place. He’d met the dude four or five times, but he saw the damn picture of him at his college graduation every time he passed Andrew’s work station. Or rather…

“What’s your name?” He asked gruffly. The Angel glanced up in curiosity as if he couldn’t believe this was the question he was going to be asked.

“My name is James,” he said, and was that a tone of weary Bobby was hearing? “I’m The Host’s attack dog,” yep that was weary. The Angel couldn’t even look him in the eye.

“Nope,” Bobby said roughly. Blue eyes popped open, “Your _real_ name. I know it ain’t James, or Jimmy Novak. Now I once helped you and Andrew out the first time you molted and he called you by your real name and I want to know what it is.” Cas opened and closed his mouth, “It’ll help me decide if I’m gonna trust you or not.”

“Castiel,” the word was soft and it was the first time it had been spoken in three years. He cleared his throat, “He calls me Cas.”

“And what is his real name?” Cas looked warily at him, the man was an Angel and he looked trustworthy enough but how did he not have a chip? But then again were there any old Angels with chips? Cas sat back and thought. No. His age group had been the first. Oh, The Host was filled with older Angels but they were recruits, sign ups, bandwaggoneers.  Yet despite this Angel not being part of The Host Cas didn’t know to trust him.

“Simon,” he said warily.

“We both know that’s a lie but I haven’t given you a reason to trust me so I guess that’ll have to do.” Bobby scratched his chin. “I got one, when you molted for the first time tell me what happened.” And then it was as if a light went on in Cas’s head.

“You’re Bobby! You’re D—Andrew’s boss!” The Angel chuckled.

“Don’t let him hear you say that. Better still don’t say that in front of him and his minions. You didn’t answer my question.”

“Oh, um,” Cas turned red. “I came from college and pushed Andrew over a car and was about to undo his pants when…”

“When I stepped in.”

“You said we should go to your office and you taped files to the windows so we could have privacy. We um…I molted and when we were clear enough after a few hours Andrew was able to get me home.”

“I cleaned up your feathers.” Bobby said softly. “What did you use?”

“Bleach,” Cas didn’t know why he was trusting this man but there he went and blabbed his history. But Bobby looked so…caring and… “This isn’t my real number,” Cas didn’t have to gesture at the six on his wrist. “I, um, got us into some trouble at home. At our real home and we had to flee. We got a message from my fos—from someone that others were looking for me and it wasn’t to press charges. So we ran. We had to disguise ourselves so…”

“Bleach,” Bobby winced. He’d once got a spot of bleach on his milky brown wings and it stung like a bitch. The furious smell in his office told him those wings were much darker than his light shade. So dark that…

Andrew rarely showed what was on that chain of his. He always wore it and since the boy always wore fifteen layers only the choice few got to actually see what was dangling on the end of that chain. When he’d shown Bobby the man had whistled. He’d never seen a feather that black or an Angel who would fit to it.

“What’s his real name?” Bobby asked again but Cas stayed firm, he wouldn’t betray his husband. “You’re protecting him, that’s good, he needs protection even in here.” Cas tilted his head. Bobby got closer on the ruse of inspecting one of the injuries on Cas’s shoulder. “There are some here who think equality is a load of horse shit, and they’ll go along with the guy who’s taking on the Angels, but once those Angels are gone…goodbye guy.” Cas nodded. “So you keep protecting him.”

“Thank you for telling me.”

“You said something about your wings, what’re you trying to do?”

“Turn them back, but they’ve been white so long…it’s like…” Cas tried again. He could feel that thread of power within his soul tying the black under the white, but every time he tugged at it the sluggish folds of his other power that had grown over the familiar string refused to budge. “It’s buried under so much.”

“Well then there’s really only one thing you can do.” Cas looked confused. “Dig it all up.” When Cas still seemed not to understand the Angel waved at all the candles and comfort Cas had projected. “Dig it up.” With that Bobby turned on his heel and walked to the door. “Still looks like you’re pooping.” Cas rolled his eyes but he closed them and concentrated.

The candles vanished. There the string was just a bit easier to get to. The mattress was grimy and the blankets were gone. A bit more. Then it was the comfortable fire in the corner. He grunted when he felt his wrist break and the cut at his side open with fresh blood pouring out.

He concentrated harder. His clothes, that was three years of keeping them clean and wrinkle free. The Host believed if you could use your powers then why would there be a need for new clothing? His suit and trench coat hung ragged from fights, general wear and tear, and a million other things.

Then there were all the times he healed himself. He winced when he felt bruises well to the surface again. He grunted when his leg broke. He became so distracted at getting to the thread to change his wings black that he didn’t notice the danger he was putting himself in.

After a brutal hit to his kidney the thread was free. His wings instantly turned and were as black as his husband’s eyes. As black as the room he was holed in. As black as his vision was becoming.

***

When he woke someone was rage pacing in the corner. The noise hurt and Cas wanted to call out and tell whoever it was that was breathing like an elephant to stop, but his voice wouldn’t work. His entire body felt like millions of needles were piercing him, needles of all sizes getting into the nooks and crannies of his body making him ache. When he finally could open his eyes he saw Dean pacing in small circles. He’d never seen his husband that angry before.

“Hey stranger,” he croak whispered. Dean whipped around and in an instant he was by Cas’s side kneeling on the damp floor.

“Who did this?” He said fiercely.

“Who?”

“Who Cas? I’m gonna kill them, I thought you were gonna die. If Bobby hadn’t said he’d seen you…”

“I did this,” Cas whispered. He tried to pet Dean’s face but his arm wouldn’t work.

Dean looked disbelieving, “You did this,” Cas nodded, “ _You_ did _this_ , you broke your own leg and arm, cut open your side, covered your entire body with bruises? You?”

“I had to dig.”

“I don’t know what that means.”

“Ask Bobby.”

“Oh I’ll ask Bobby…” Dean started to rant but Cas had fallen asleep.

When he woke again the pain was gone, and he was feeling fine. Good in fact. Better than he’d ever felt in ages. In years. Three years to be precise.

The bed he was in was much more comfortable. The room was still just as black but Cas knew his eyes would adjust and as the Underground was quite literally _underground_ there wouldn’t be many windows. He felt warm, a great improvement over the last room, and from the echoes this room wasn’t much bigger than the one he’d been in. The arm curled around his back and up between his wings so fingers could rest in his scapulars was also incredibly nice too. It was a habit of his husband’s that began…well it began when Cas first sprouted his wings. Dean loved to come up on either side of Cas and lay on his stomach, back, side and place his arm so that his fingers could be deep in the downy fluff. He would also pull a black wing over himself so he rarely needed covers on his chest.

Tonight, or today Cas had no idea on time, Dean was on his side pressing everything into Cas. His chin was tucked neatly onto Cas’s shoulder and, as if no time had passed, the Angel’s long black wing was pulled just so as a blanket covering Dean from the world.

Cas turned his head so he could study his husband. His eyes had adjusted to the dark and he looked hard at the sleeping man. Dean looked like he always had, but then he was asleep. He always looked younger and more peaceful asleep. There was a scar on his forehead that was new and a few more lines around his eyes, but other than that Dean looked perfect.

“Hey,” Dean must have known he was being watched because he peeked out one eye. “Can’t sleep?”

“Just woke, actually,” Cas leaned in and kissed Dean as if he’d done it hundreds of times the day and week before. Yet the kiss seemed new and unfamiliar. Cas shifted on the bed so he could lie chest to chest and explore these strange and familiar lips.

Dean was in no hurry to speed up or move along. He threw a leg over his husband’s and they kissed chastely for nearly half an hour. At minute 26 Dean opened his mouth and slipped his tongue along Cas’s closed lips and suddenly they were open and an hour was gone. Their limbs didn’t move at all as they just froze around one another and took the time to press together and remember.

“Sex?” Dean asked softly after an hour and forty five minutes of nonstop kissing. One of Cas’s arms was around his neck and his other around his waist. Dean’s original hand was still buried in black feathers at the base of his husband’s wings, and the other gripped his hip tightly.

“Yes,” Cas breathed, “But…” Dean didn’t move as frightened blue eyes looked at him. “There’s something you should know.” Dean nodded. “I…molted…”

“Well I knew that was going to happen. The Host seems so high and mighty, like they’re the kind of Angels who don’t go into a heat every six months.” Cas huffed a small laugh.

“They’re working on that, something to repress the heat when the molting comes. But for now…I was expected to do like everyone else. To blend in…”

“Cas it’s ok.”

“No it’s not!” Cas whisper shouted, “It’s not Dean because that was harder than the killing and the torture. It was cheating on you and I _knew_ it! I knew it was wrong, but I wasn’t supposed to know, I wasn’t supposed to force myself to orgasm inside someone else pretending it was you.” Dean’s face was a stoic mask. “Because that’s what you do, you start to molt, you call a phone number and they send you an unassigned or level one Angel.” Cas’s head fell back on the bed. “I was with five men and two women for three days apiece. I cheated on you.”

“Hey,” Dean kissed Cas’s shoulder. “I can understand…”

“No you can’t.” Cas’s voice was bitter. “I cheated on you and you have every right to dump my cheating ass.”

“Ok first off in the strictly _legal_ term you did cheat on me. But you were being watched all the time weren’t you?” Cas nodded. “So you did exactly what they expected you to do. You blended in. You gave them not a single reason to doubt you. So I guess we can both just accept it and move on.” Cas nodded. “Five?”

“Hm?”

“You said five men, and two women, you would have only had six molts, who was the fifth man?”

“Michael,” Cas whispered. “He rose high up in the ranks and he was my boss. He asked me one night to fuck him because he knew I would keep his secret about how he loved to take it up the ass.” Dean sighed.

“I know you’re gonna think me pulling away from sex right now is that. But it’s not.” He looked fierce, “It isn’t Castiel. I just think…”

“We’ve been through a lot in these three years, we shouldn’t just jump right in.” Dean nodded hard.

“Yeah. I still love you to death, there’s no one else for me. You’re it. Period.” Though he was firm in his sentences Cas could feel the hint of question behind the words.

“You are too. I…when I was with all of those people I couldn’t get off if I weren’t thinking of you,” Cas looked nervous, “Can I tell you the truth?” Dean nodded slowly. “I loved my molting times because any other time I thought of you I showed emotion and you can’t ever show emotion as an Angel of The Host. So when my feathers fell I knew I had three days with just you behind my eyes. I told all of them not to speak to me, they thought I was stuck up, but really when they talked they just distracted me. When I was buried in an ass if I tried hard enough I could just make out that it was you and when they talked the fantasy was over. Dumb right?” Dean wound his arms tighter around the love of his life.

“Probably the best excuse for cheating in my book.”  

“You can’t mean that,” Cas nosed at sandy hair.

“Of course I can,” Dean was firm. “If it means I get to spend the rest of my life with your dumb ass on a boat sailing away out to sea then I’m gonna forgive and forget.”

“Please tell me that you did something to equal this out.” Dean huffed, “You didn’t sleep with anyone, masturbate in public,” Dean laughed harder and Cas got into it. “You cross dressed, oh!” he mocked horror and tapped Dean’s face in a fake slap, “You wore those _panties_ without me there to finish you off?” Dean blushed.

“I did actually.” Cas gasped and pulled back.

“I don’t know if I can forgive you. This is _totally_ the same as me cheating on you. I don’t know if I can even look at you,” he teased and Dean chuckled.

“Well then as I have forgiven you for cheating on me, you have to forgive me for getting a collection of panties.” Cas’s eyes went blank.

“A…collection?”

“At least twenty pairs,” Dean breathed into his husband’s ear and was rewarded with a full body shiver. “Lace, satin, silk, all different styles,” it was getting hard for Cas to just lay and listen. “Sometimes I wore them when we went on a raid and when I fought Angels I thought of you. Or when I was giving orders I would feel the satin and think about you bending me over at our last apartment and taking me across the dining room table.” Cas shuddered and rolled his hips up Dean’s leg.

“You are going to get me to have sex now aren’t you,” he felt a dark chuckle as two hands started running fingers through his feathers. Everything in him broke and trembled. He’d never felt so good in three years. The heavy weight was lifting away from him and he was feeling pleasure for the first time in three years. One thousand ninety five days, twenty-six thousand two hundred eighty hours, one million five hundred seventy-six thousand eight hundred minutes since he had felt this good. He trembled under Dean’s touch and everything leaned into his husband.

“You need to work on self-control,” Dean chastised but he forgot everything when Cas looked at him in desire. He couldn’t count the number of times other Demons had looked at him like that, the pure hunger to see him naked. But it never affected Dean, it rolled off. Like the smell of something nice that Dean had no interest in. Sure it was a nice smell, but was it going to get his toes curling smelling a vanilla candle? Not really.

But Cas was getting his toes curling. Cas was turning his mind insane rolling along him and refamiliarizing his body together with Dean’s.  He forgot what feathers felt like, even though he’d had that damn black feather that he held in his hand every chance he got. But it was nothing compared to the live feathers leaning toward his fingers like his skin was made of magnets.

Cas shuddered a groan and fell down on his soul mate’s open mouth and shoved his tongue in. Nothing was going to last long with either of them once they got going, but _damn_ this was going to feel _good_. Their fingers were drunk, actually everything was drunk and clumsy they fell over one another kneed each other trying to wrap legs around waists. They rolled on the bed and nearly fell off but none of it mattered. They were too lost and high off the other to really care how awful they looked or how terribly they coordinated their bodies.

But then somehow they were slotted together and naked. And Cas had a hand around them both. And their hips were circling together to move the leaking, red tips in the wide hands. And then Dean’s hand was connected with his husband’s around their shafts. Then another hand was up on Dean’s neck and the kiss was deepened and their tongues planted deep in the other’s soul.

“Cas, baby, ohhhh, I’m going to…” Dean moaned and Cas nodded hard. His breathing was labored and loud, so loud Dean was sure Bobby was going to bang on the door claiming he could hear them through the ten inch concrete walls. They both looked down at their hands and then a shared look brought their lips together again. Dean choked a moaning sob out which Cas swallowed eagerly. His fingers gripped hard in Cas’s feathers and he bit down on Cas’s lip.

Neither man had ever felt so good. Even three years ago, hell even the past ten, fifteen years had been stressful. When Dean presented their world had changed. The bullying Cas started, and Dean’s fighting, and running away, then the early years of constantly looking over their shoulders worrying if they were going to get caught. Then once they’d settled there was the mission. The mission consumed them. It was the reason Cas was working at his shitty job, the reason Dean came home late most nights, or when he did come home he was covered in bruises. Cas stressed constantly that the Host wouldn’t take him in so he could learn their information, and Dean struggled to build the Underground and the JS. But after thirteen years they were finally successful.

And now it was three years later and they were able to let go just for a moment. They both were thinking of the upcoming revolution and battles that would inevitably come but because neither had had any physical intimacy for three years the feelings were able to take hold and they were fifteen again.

So the feelings consumed them in good and pleasure. They forgot any previous or eventual pain and just concentrated on the body with them and the hand wrapped around them.

“Dean,” Cas choked out and Dean’s eyes were on him instantly. “Love you,” Cas panted and his hips stuttered and he came. Feeling Cas’s cock shudder and release skin to skin with his made Dean come right along with his husband. Unintelligible words flowed from their mouths as they moaned, kissed, panted, cursed their way through their shared orgasm.

When they’d settled Cas wiped up as much as he could and licked his hand clean. Dean mirrored him and suddenly they were kissing hard, their cum gluing their tongues together.

There was no other world existing for the two men outside the door. Time refused to pass as they just melted together in body and soul. The taste of each man was indistinguishable from the other they were so mixed together that it hardly mattered who tasted like who. Cas’s wings were soft and lazy around them as their mouths slowed and tongues stopped wrestling but more just massaging.

When they finally broke away Cas rested his head on Dean’s shoulder and Dean carded his fingers slowly through black feathers.

“Mmmmm, that feels fantastic.”

“So no grooming during your molt?” Cas shook his head.

“No it was just, get on your hands and knees and I’m going to fuck you for three days.”

“What happened between the fucking?”

“I had a cot set up for them.” The fingers paused at his primary coverts. “It’s what was expected, Dean. I was praised for my lack of emotional contact or affection for my molt partners.”

“It’s not that, I just…” the fingers went back to carding softly. “It can’t be easy for those people.” Cas nodded.

“Please don’t make me feel guiltier.”

“I’m not trying to,” Dean soothed. “I’m really not, I’m just thinking of the whole picture. So they get their Angels not to feel, what next? What about making baby Angels? Are they just going to have a system set up like the molting?” He sighed when Cas nodded. “Why can’t we all just get along, Angles and Demons, there’re good and bad of both.”

“It’s who’s in charge that makes the problems. Bobby should be in charge, or someone…good just someone who believes in equality.”

“Yeah, well don’t tell him but if all this works, if we’re all alive in the end I’m gonna ask Bobby to take over. He’s not gonna want it, but he’ll take it if I ask.”

“He’d make a good leader, he’s working with Demons and he’s an Angel so the proof is there.” Dean nodded and they fell silent. His fingers continued to card through the black feathers and Cas sighed.

They shifted so Cas could be on his stomach and Dean straddling his ass so the Demon could get to all the feathers. He cleaned them and settled them so they looked pristine. It was a common thing they did at least once a week when they were dating and then married. It took longer this time because it hadn’t been done in so long, and Cas was dirty from being pushed into damp cells, and wet concrete walls.

Dean lost himself in the black feathers, and Cas was lost in the pure love flowing from his husband’s fingers. Yes the world still had its problems, and there were going to be tough times ahead, but at least between them they were whole. They were perfect and in love and the problems faded into nothing as Dean continued to groom his best friend’s wings.

After an hour Dean wiggled under one of the completely sated wings, got an arm wrapped around his chest, and he buried his fingers in the soft fuzz at the base of the black feathers. They both gave a huge, deep sigh, and fell into a sound slumber.

***

They were busy kissing again when the soft knock came on the door.

“Yeah,” Dean called not bothering to get up or bothering to untangle himself or bothering to take his lips away from Cas’s clavicle.

“Boy, the other leaders of safe houses in the Underground are here. They heard about you capturing James and they want to see him.” Dean made a face.

“Yeah, ok, I’ll be out in a minute,” Cas licked across his nipple, “Ten, I’ll be out in ten minutes.” They heard Bobby chuckle.

“Don’t you mean we?” Bobby laughed harder. “We’ll be out in ten minutes?” Dean rolled his eyes and Cas laughed softly. “I ain’t blind, boy, I went by his cell this morning and unless that kid was invisible he wasn’t there. So just treat me smart and say we’ll be out in ten minutes.”

“We’ll be out in ten minutes, but if you keep yammering it’ll be fifteen!” Bobby huffed a laugh and Dean arched off the bed when Cas took the nipple he’d been laving in his teeth. He dug his fingers in chocolate hair and tugged to encourage Cas further.

“We should go,” Cas said breathily.

“Come on,” Dean whined. “I wanna come with you one more time.” He looked like a kicked puppy and Cas rolled his eyes.

“Fine but it’s going to have to be quick.”

Bobby rolled his eyes when the door to their _fearless_ leader’s door opened. The boy looked lovestruck down to the whole damn bone. He looked like a goof as his eyes hung on the Angel next to him.

“Well I suppose I better be glad you both aren’t covered in hickies, and that you actually put clothes on.” Bobby leaned in close, “Wipe that grin off your face boy, these leaders are gonna be looking to you for what to do next and they ain’t gonna trust you when you look like a teenage girl getting asked to prom.”

“Hey we went to prom together!” Cas’s face lit up.

“I remember! We were juniors!” Bobby sighed and grabbed both idiots by the shoulders.

“Get going, Andrew get that damn grin off your face. You too _James_. These leaders are out to kill you. Do you get that?” Bobby hissed, “If you don’t do something _Andrew_ they are going to kill your Angel here. Do you understand? They want him dead and it is up to you to change their minds and if you go in with that dopey grin they’re gonna kill him and you and hell they may even kill me too!” That sobered the pair. “In there is where you do that.” Bobby pointed at Dean’s bedroom. “There is where you love one another. Out here you are _nothing_ to each other. Do you get that? They will fry you alive if they know you’re married. They’ll think you’re just trying to save his hide and they won’t listen to a word he has to say.” Bobby crossed his arms. “You can’t love each other out here. And as for that mistake of him not being in his cell…” Cas nodded. He understood.

“Darling,” he turned to Dean, “Baby,” he nudged Dean’s face with his nose, “He’s right. We can’t be seen together.” Dean nodded.

They broke apart, Cas walked behind the two men and his insides clenched when they got to a door and heard yelling behind it. _Here goes_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Out of the frying pan and into the fire, eh?

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! Comments, like food, are necessary to my life!


End file.
